The Student Room Group

Using sex toy hurts every time

Hi,

Im a 20f virgin but i have some toys. My issue is with my dildo. Originally i could not even get it in, but i actually managed to get it fully in yesterday. Every time i've used it I have bled, i bled particularly much yesterday but i finally thought i had pretty much broken my hymen/stretched it out. It hurt when it 'popped' in (It literally made a popping sound). Then when i was finished, i had a lot of trouble getting it back out! Like i went to get up off it and what i'm assuming was my hymen was stretched so tightly around it that it was literally stuck inside me. I tried pulling it out but it really hurt, in the end i had to clench my teeth and give it a huge tug and it finally 'popped' out again making quite a loud noise but it really hurt quite a lot and was a bit scary because i thought OMG what if i can't get it out, that would be so embarrassing!

Anyway, i tried again today and i had the same issue with it being painful past that same point and i managed to get it in again but again it was so painful to get out and it got stuck inside again. I'm assuming it is my hymen not being stretched out enough because i can get the head in fine and then it starts hurting and once its passed that area it is fine again. It's just getting it in and out, whenever it has to go past the ring of flesh i can feel with my fingers. But i thought after getting it fully in it would be stretched out enough to not hurt anymore, but that's not the case.

Obviously i've never had sex so i was wondering is this normal? Will it ever stop hurting, i don't want sex to be painful the first time :frown: Thank you for any advice.
Are you fully aroused? Play with yourself beforehand and make sure you're wet enough and go slowly with the dildo. It sounds like you're forcing it a bit which could hurt. Maybe invest in a wee bullet vibrator or smth to turn you on some more.
The obvious solution would be to not use it again. There is no way of telling whether or not sex would be painful or not - a sex toy is very different to a penis. You may or may not have broken your hymen yet. Just stop worrying about it and your first time having sex will more likely than not be absolutely fine.
Sex toys are often bigger than average sized penises - they may also be made out of harder materials.

Make sure you are aroused and use lubricant if required.

If your body is not used to penetration it may feel painful. Going gently and listening to your body is important.
Original post by Precious Illusions
Are you fully aroused? Play with yourself beforehand and make sure you're wet enough and go slowly with the dildo. It sounds like you're forcing it a bit which could hurt. Maybe invest in a wee bullet vibrator or smth to turn you on some more.


good advice, you should be a teacher!
Original post by 4StarsOutOf5
good advice, you should be a teacher!

Ty ty, I offer weekly lessons on how to use a dildo.
Take it easy and slowly. Let the nerve flow. Don't rush because that will cause more pain. Especially if it's "popped" out. Just means that it's been taken out quickly. That would hurt.
Original post by Precious Illusions
Ty ty, I offer weekly lessons on how to use a dildo.

Do you offer them online?
Original post by Anonymous
Do you offer them online?

Ya. It'll cost ya though.
Original post by Precious Illusions
Ya. It'll cost ya though.

Sure, how much per session?

And just so we're clear this won't be a personal demonstration will it?
Reply 10
That doesn't sound normal, and you could actually cause permanent damage to your body. I'd say to hold off until you see a doctor. And sex is always painful the first few times, an actual penis is much different from a toy. I am a 34 year old woman and I have never been able to use any toys that are to be inserted inside without extreme pain. So I do not use them, only the real thing, which does not cause intense pain. Please take care of yourself and don't hurt yourself. Sounds like you're trying to force this to appease the man...That's not how pleasure or intimacy is supposed to work. Best of luck to you.
The hymen does not do that hun.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

Im a 20f virgin but i have some toys. My issue is with my dildo. Originally i could not even get it in, but i actually managed to get it fully in yesterday. Every time i've used it I have bled, i bled particularly much yesterday but i finally thought i had pretty much broken my hymen/stretched it out. It hurt when it 'popped' in (It literally made a popping sound). Then when i was finished, i had a lot of trouble getting it back out! Like i went to get up off it and what i'm assuming was my hymen was stretched so tightly around it that it was literally stuck inside me. I tried pulling it out but it really hurt, in the end i had to clench my teeth and give it a huge tug and it finally 'popped' out again making quite a loud noise but it really hurt quite a lot and was a bit scary because i thought OMG what if i can't get it out, that would be so embarrassing!

Anyway, i tried again today and i had the same issue with it being painful past that same point and i managed to get it in again but again it was so painful to get out and it got stuck inside again. I'm assuming it is my hymen not being stretched out enough because i can get the head in fine and then it starts hurting and once its passed that area it is fine again. It's just getting it in and out, whenever it has to go past the ring of flesh i can feel with my fingers. But i thought after getting it fully in it would be stretched out enough to not hurt anymore, but that's not the case.

Obviously i've never had sex so i was wondering is this normal? Will it ever stop hurting, i don't want sex to be painful the first time :frown: Thank you for any advice.

Honestly it sounds like you need to practice more with smaller things like your fingers and you may not be Lubercated enough you can always buy oils for down there if you don't produce enough lubercat in you 🐱 for now I would stick to 1 or 2 fingerd