Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Destined to die alone!

Bit of an extreme title, sorry
I’m gay, in year 12, and lonely af. Obviously having a boyfriend isn’t the most important thing right now and if I meet someone great then ittl be great and all that nonsense but I can’t help but feeling so jealous of everyone around me. Loads of my friends are coupling up, discussing guys or girls they’d wanna date and yeah I’m kinda jealous :/ I’m not out, and I wish I could just be able to do the whole ‘dating’ thing normally like everyone else. I’ve had one boyfriend, and it was a super secret relationship- which makes it sound kinda exciting (it wasn’t). I know guys who are into guys at my school, but there’s a grand total of around 3! And none of them are very nice or any kind of relationship wouldn’t be possible
Essentially, did/does anyone else feel like this? I know I shouldn’t be annoyed when I see my straight friends openly hugging/holding hands at school but like, it makes me so sad lol. Right now I’m hanging on till uni- where I hope ittl be better and I might be able to come out.