Can someone read my personal statement?

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Christiantaylor
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Hey, leave a comment on this thread and I'll dm you my PS, I really would like help to see what I could imrpove about it/take out etc. Anything would be much appreicated!

VOLUNTEER TEAM EDIT

DO NOT SEND YOUR PS TO RANDOM PEOPLE
I've already had to tell several people this week to re-write their personal statement, as they posted it online. Once you share your PS to someone, you lose complete control over it and they could

a) Steal it and use it for themselves
b) Paste it online everywhere for it to be cached, causing you PS to be flagged up by UCAS as stolen/plagiarised.

Read this https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/con...SR-PS-reviewer and post in the TSR PS Review forum instead. It's a service run by vetted volunteers.
Last edited by Blue_Cow; 5 months ago
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by christiantaylor)
hey, leave a comment on this thread and i'll dm you my ps, i really would like help to see what i could imrpove about it/take out etc. Anything would be much appreicated!
do not send your ps to random people!
I've already had to tell several people this week to re-write their personal statement, as they posted it online. Once you share your PS to someone, you lose complete control over it and they could

a) Steal it and use it for themselves
b) Paste it online everywhere for it to be cached, causing you PS to be flagged up by UCAS as stolen/plagiarised.

Read this https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/con...SR-PS-reviewer and post in the TSR PS Review forum instead. It's a service run by vetted volunteers.
Last edited by Blue_Cow; 5 months ago
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zizaabmissan
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Be careful when sharing ur personal statement cos if it can be traced online u could be flagged for plagiarism by UCAS
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bixol
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Don’t send it to anyone random. There’s a student room personal statement review service but I forgot what the thread is called.
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aimscopes
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I would not recommend sending your personal statement to anyone online, ask your teachers or friends/family to give you advice.
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Christiantaylor
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Okay, I won't send it to anyone. But I'll give you guys some idea of what I'm applying for and what I've mostly included.

I've applied for Geography and Planning joint honours, but I haven't talked about why I love geography too much, should i? I am retaking an alevel and talked about how I have good time management and resilience etc etc and ive been to a lot of places so I talked about that. And I want to be a planner in future so talked about that a bit.
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by Christiantaylor)
Okay, I won't send it to anyone. But I'll give you guys some idea of what I'm applying for and what I've mostly included.

I've applied for Geography and Planning joint honours, but I haven't talked about why I love geography too much, should i? I am retaking an alevel and talked about how I have good time management and resilience etc etc and ive been to a lot of places so I talked about that. And I want to be a planner in future so talked about that a bit.
Time management and resilience are irrelevant factors when it comes to why you want to study Geography. They are traits that most people have (or at least would say they have)

You need to talk about why you want to study Geography at university. That's it.
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Christiantaylor
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(Original post by Blue_Cow)
Time management and resilience are irrelevant factors when it comes to why you want to study Geography. They are traits that most people have (or at least would say they have)

You need to talk about why you want to study Geography at university. That's it.
Okay thanks for the advice, much appreciated.
So is it no very effective to talk about time management skills? And more effective to talk about why I want to study Geography?
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by Christiantaylor)
Okay thanks for the advice, much appreciated.
So is it no very effective to talk about time management skills? And more effective to talk about why I want to study Geography?
Yes. That's what a personal statement is for. It's to show to the admissions tutor why you want to study XYZ subject.
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Christiantaylor
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(Original post by Blue_Cow)
Yes. That's what a personal statement is for. It's to show to the admissions tutor why you want to study XYZ subject.
Oh okay, so they aren't too interested in any time management skills I may have?
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by Christiantaylor)
Oh okay, so they aren't too interested in any time management skills I may have?
No.
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Christiantaylor
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(Original post by Blue_Cow)
No.
Okay. I wanna mention how i was interested in geopolotics and read this book called prisoners of geography. pretty well known and not too academic or rigourous to read, is it still good to mention anyway?
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Christiantaylor)
Oh okay, so they aren't too interested in any time management skills I may have?
That’s not what they want to know so don’t talk about it. Waste of space in the short statement.
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by Christiantaylor)
Okay. I wanna mention how i was interested in geopolotics and read this book called prisoners of geography. pretty well known and not too academic or rigourous to read, is it still good to mention anyway?
I'm not familiar with the book, so unsure how suitable it is to include. As a rule of thumb, if you can explain why this particular book has inspired you to choose your chosen degree programme, then sure.
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Christiantaylor
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(Original post by Blue_Cow)
I'm not familiar with the book, so unsure how suitable it is to include. As a rule of thumb, if you can explain why this particular book has inspired you to choose your chosen degree programme, then sure.
Okay, I'll mention it. Should I mention work experience? If I do should I say how it made me wanna study geography? And anything else basically should I say how it made me wanna study geography?
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by Christiantaylor)
Okay, I'll mention it. Should I mention work experience? If I do should I say how it made me wanna study geography? And anything else basically should I say how it made me wanna study geography?
Yes. Just make sure the links you make aren't overely convoluted and direct.
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Christiantaylor
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(Original post by Blue_Cow)
Yes. Just make sure the links you make aren't overely convoluted and direct.
Thanks.
Recently I entered an essay competition, is it good to mention that? I'm not sure how I can relate it to why I want to study geography, I did it because I wanted to win it and I did it because I'm interested in Geography.
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Interrobang
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(Original post by Christiantaylor)
Thanks.
Recently I entered an essay competition, is it good to mention that? I'm not sure how I can relate it to why I want to study geography, I did it because I wanted to win it and I did it because I'm interested in Geography.
If the essay was geog related then talk about what you read (or other sources) and why they were interesting
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cheesecakelove
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Overall, your personal statement should show: why you want to study Geography and how you have demonstrated your interest in the subject (e.g. wider reading, related work experience and volunteering). You should also spend some time on talking about why you should picked e.g. academic achievements and prizes, acheivements outside of school, positions of responsibility you have held. This is where you should sell yourself!

TSR has a lot of good resources on personal statement writing, and like Blue Cow stated, use the private PS review section to get more help and feedback.
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Christiantaylor
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
Overall, your personal statement should show: why you want to study Geography and how you have demonstrated your interest in the subject (e.g. wider reading, related work experience and volunteering). You should also spend some time on talking about why you should picked e.g. academic achievements and prizes, acheivements outside of school, positions of responsibility you have held. This is where you should sell yourself!

TSR has a lot of good resources on personal statement writing, and like Blue Cow stated, use the private PS review section to get more help and feedback.
How do I use the private PS review section, and is it 100% trustworthy?
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