Body image problems and sex
Okay, so basically I'm an 18 year old girl, and a complete virgin, never had a boyfriend, never kissed anyone etc etc. ya I know, pretty boring. I started uni last year and have been feeling more open to trying to explore being more intimate with people but I have the absolute worst body image and it keeps coming in the way. I am a healthy weight (about BMI20-21 I avoid weighing myself though because of a history of eating disorder), but I do have a bit of a belly and when I sit it makes big rolls and Im so scared of someone seeing that- obviously with sex that's kind of inevitable. It would be okay if I was "thick" in other areas too but iv been cursed with small breasts, small butt, and a round tummy. My question is has anyone else experienced this and gotten over it, any advice for how to stop it affecting me so much. Also how much attention do people pay to these parts of your body during sex. My biggest fear is that the guy I have sex with secretly after wards can't forget about how fat I looked, and sees me differently. Or most case, tells others too. Thanks for any help.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay, so basically I'm an 18 year old girl, and a complete virgin, never had a boyfriend, never kissed anyone etc etc. ya I know, pretty boring. I started uni last year and have been feeling more open to trying to explore being more intimate with people but I have the absolute worst body image and it keeps coming in the way. I am a healthy weight (about BMI20-21 I avoid weighing myself though because of a history of eating disorder), but I do have a bit of a belly and when I sit it makes big rolls and Im so scared of someone seeing that- obviously with sex that's kind of inevitable. It would be okay if I was "thick" in other areas too but iv been cursed with small breasts, small butt, and a round tummy. My question is has anyone else experienced this and gotten over it, any advice for how to stop it affecting me so much. Also how much attention do people pay to these parts of your body during sex. My biggest fear is that the guy I have sex with secretly after wards can't forget about how fat I looked, and sees me differently. Or most case, tells others too. Thanks for any help.
Hey, I understand your problem. I see nothing wrong with your weight. I used to have a constant feeling that when I become intimate with someone they're are gonna hate my body. ( I felt this way at a young age) so i would always hype myself up and tell myself before college I'll lose weight and everything will be fine. I've realized overtime that no matter how much weight I lose or how much i workout, it isn't gonna help how I feel. My advise to you is, if you feel insecure about your body, work out. Not that you need to. But personally it helped me a lot. I was hyping myself up a lot , thinking of all the clothes I'm gonna buy and actually feel confident in etc, OR you can accept your body ( which I feel like you should totally do!). Maybe go out and go on a mini shopping spree, do what feels right. Change up your style. I think once you start to look in the mirror and just observe yourself and realize , this is who I am. You'll feel so much better and realize that your body is fine. I feel like social media puts out a stigma where girls have to look a certain way to get a guys attention. Which isn't true trust me. Not all guys want the same thing, not all guys think the same way. Also about the having sex and feeling insecure thing, that's normal. I personally think if you're involved with a guy, he'll love your body , but love your personality even more. I promise you.
When you have missionary sex you will won't be in a sitting position. You will be in a lying position. With a BMI of 20 to 21 you will look fantastically gorgeous and sexy to the vast majority of young men.
Please feel welcome to provide photos in this thread of these "big rolls" that you see on your belly when you sit. So that we can provide reassurance that they're not big. Or provide advice on a regime of exercises that will in 6 to 12 months give you a feminine 6 pack.
Please feel free to get professional help on this, if you aren't already starting with your GP who will refer you to a specialist team.
I know girls with BMI's similar to yours that think they are fat because when they sit they think their thighs look big. What I always tell them is that it's down to their perspective, looking down from above as well as a normal spreading when weight is put on their thighs like this. And that the reality from everyone else's perspective is that they are beautiful from everyone else's perspective and would be too thin if they lost any weight.
A similar thing can happen with men with their penis size, due to the perspective on looking down on one's own penis.
The root cause of eating disorders amongst the people I've known with it, is that they are too perfectionist. They want everything about their lives to be perfect, including their bodies. Adopting a pareto / pragmatic / good enough philosophy to life is a good first step to them becoming more comfortable and more accepting of their bodies.
Anither little tip. If you want the men that you make love with to become totally addicted to having sex with you, focus on them and their pleasure ahead of your own thoughts and feelings.
Your small butt is extremely attractive to the majority of men. I bet you've got great legs too, with your BMI.
Please feel welcome to provide photos in this thread of these "big rolls" that you see on your belly when you sit. So that we can provide reassurance that they're not big. Or provide advice on a regime of exercises that will in 6 to 12 months give you a feminine 6 pack.
Please feel free to get professional help on this, if you aren't already starting with your GP who will refer you to a specialist team.
I know girls with BMI's similar to yours that think they are fat because when they sit they think their thighs look big. What I always tell them is that it's down to their perspective, looking down from above as well as a normal spreading when weight is put on their thighs like this. And that the reality from everyone else's perspective is that they are beautiful from everyone else's perspective and would be too thin if they lost any weight.
A similar thing can happen with men with their penis size, due to the perspective on looking down on one's own penis.
The root cause of eating disorders amongst the people I've known with it, is that they are too perfectionist. They want everything about their lives to be perfect, including their bodies. Adopting a pareto / pragmatic / good enough philosophy to life is a good first step to them becoming more comfortable and more accepting of their bodies.
Anither little tip. If you want the men that you make love with to become totally addicted to having sex with you, focus on them and their pleasure ahead of your own thoughts and feelings.
Your small butt is extremely attractive to the majority of men. I bet you've got great legs too, with your BMI.
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
a feminine 6 pack
If you want the men that you make love with to become totally addicted to having sex with you
If you want the men that you make love with to become totally addicted to having sex with you
(1) No such thing.
(2) Don't.
Nearly every one has them "rolls" when they sit down, even people with six packs. Don't actively search for something, just relax, take your time and if there is someone you are interested in then get to know them and take it slow.
Original post by Justvisited
(1) No such thing.
(2) Don't.
(2) Don't.
No such thing? Are you sure about that?
Although I'd strongly suggest that there's no need to go to the extremes that the women in this video have done.
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