Letting someone down Watch

anna_spanner89
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#1
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at work theres a boy who from what i've gathered from others, plus observing his behaviour, has asperges(sp?)/mild autism and therefore he doesn't have as developed social skills etc

He's a really nice guy and i have lunch with him and chat when i see him etc, recently he's been overly nice, eg buying me gifts, really expensive gifts aswell, such as yesterday he bought me a necklace etc. It felt a bit odd, but i accepted them gratefully etc as i didn't want too hurt him.

Today however he sat down and said outright infront of the canteen 'will you be my girlfriend?' luckily only the people on my table heard but i was so embaressed..i didn't know what too say, and just went 'i need the toilet' and legged it too the loos, and ate my lunch there..sad i know..

I am in no way attracted to this guy, and i cannot think of a single way i have lead him on (apart from accepting his gifts?) Im going to probably see him tomorrow and i feel so guilty for running off like that, people said he seemed really upset and was crying. I'm obviously going to have to deal with this head on, but how can i handle it?
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Bear_Grylls
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Just tell him in a nice way, really running off didnt help :/
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randomgirl
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I think you just need to be honest with him, but obviously try and be nice about it. Just explain how you want to be friends etc. Do you have a bf already? If you do, tell him that.
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anna_spanner89
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(Original post by Bear_Grylls)
Just tell him in a nice way, really running off didnt help :/

it was more of an embaressed quick walk

i was just so shocked...
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k823127
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I don't know just how much this guy is into you or maybe realised the full extent of being someone's girlfriend, but maybe just tell him straight, just the two of you of course not a crowd.
Just maybe make sure he knows that you'll be his friend, and as he doesn't have very good social skills would appreciate that more than full blown awkwardness?
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dealbreaker
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JUst be honest...You sound like a naturally caring person, so when you do say to him honestly that he is not right for you, I'm sure he'd understand. Thing is, right, you can only do so much to let someone down gently...how he reacts is beyond your control, so just do what you think is best under the circumstances - it's usually the right way to go.
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psycopath
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Tell him straight that you don't find him attractive if hes weird tell him he is. Be straight don't beat around the bush, tell him privately don't say it maliciously just give him straight reasons this is the only way men understand be cruel to be kind.
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anna_spanner89
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Im just really worried hes going to take it too far, or really really hurt him

is this a common trait in autism?
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Strictly Business
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You should be flattered.
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anna_spanner89
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(Original post by Strictly Business)
You should be flattered.

Im flattered he finds me attractive, but theres no way i would ever consider him more than a friend, he's nice but im not physically attracted too him, he's like 45 and im 18!!
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bubblebath31
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My brothers got autism, worse that your guy at work though. Please be sensitive when you talk to him because from what you say he doesn't seem to get much luck with girls anyway and because of the autism probably processes things differently so while most guys would probably brush off you walking off he would probably take it much more personally. Be honest and make it clear you don't see him like that but at the same time be careful about what you say and how you say it. If you think it will make it easier for him lie and say you have a bf if you don't already and act normally around him after even if it is slighlty awkward for you.
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