Anyone at UEA in the same situation?? Can't make any friends, I'm so alone..

Hey sorry for the depressing and desperate post, but as the title says,
I'm having an extremely hard time making any friends at UEA and it's been a month since I've started.

This is my first year and I've done everything I heard you should do at freshers: went out, talked to damn near everyone, sitting next to people in lectures and starting up conversations, attending socials and try-outs in sports, etc.

Except no matter how hard I try nothing seems to stick. Despite being an introvert, I can force myself to be really social and outgoing when I need to be. From what I'm told I don't come off as awkward so I'm puzzled as to what I'm doing wrong.

I've always struggled with moderate depression but I thought going to uni would change things. Now I'm so crushed about the whole thing, I'm finding it difficult to get out of bed again, staying in my room all day. It's gets worse whenever I go out as everyone seems to have already found their friend groups.
I don't know how I'm supposed to approach people now, afraid I might come off as a weird loner. I'm trying my hardest without pretending to be someone else but nothing's working and I'm so damn lonely!! I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? Please help me.

Reply 1

MathsGirl23

Original post by georg98

It doesn't matter what other people think. If they're such idiots that they think of you as a weird loner, that's their problem. Try to join in, and if you have friends back home, message or call them, or your family. Loads of people go through this, you're not the only one. It's good that you're not trying to be someone else, that won't make you happier, you'll just be acting. As you're at uni, a good motivation for getting up in the morning is passing your exams. If this doesn't work, imagine you're going to meet your parents, a friend from home, or anyone you'd like to see, today. This probably wasn't very helpful, but I tried. Keep going, don't give up. :smile:

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Reply 2

sj10

Original post by georg98

Trust me, there's plenty of time to still make friends. I found that I didn't find my true friends until February of the academic year. Try and join some societies and sports, that's how I found some of my closest friends!

Reply 3

Emmaclaire4

So sorry to hear that you're feeling this way OP. Can I ask whether you have joined any societies or sports (I know you said try outs)? Joining something you are interested in would defo be a way to meet likeminded people (it defo isnt too late to join new things - theres no cut off for any as far as i know). I'm part of trampolining and can tell you I have made some of my best friends there - such a lovely group of people who are welcoming to absolutely everyone! Feel free to drop me or the trampolining page a message if you want to ask more. Also what about your course society? Are you staying in halls? If you are, what about trying to organise a flat meal (cooked in the flat, takeaway or out at a restaurant)? Or trying to go to the cinema or exploring Norwich city centre together? I was lucky and got along with all my flat mates straight away but we definitely got closer when we cooked group meals (we did fajitas as an easy one to begin with!) It did take us until after xmas to be totally comfortable with each other though so dont worry too much - it does take time to get used to people! If you arent staying in halls then how about joining the commuters society?

About being lonely - is there anyone that you have come across so far (course or flat) who you would feel comfortable talking to? Perhaps people (your flat particularly) think you're happy as you are and dont want to bother you? Maybe if you admit that you are struggling a little, they can help and you never know it might be the avenue to a friendship! Especially if someone in your flat also seems like they might be struggling a little too (ie seem to spend lots of time in their room or alone, or are a little quieter?)

I hope some of these suggestions are helpful - please feel free to message or reply if youd like more advice or even just someone to talk to who is at UEA.

I hope all works out for you!
Emma

Reply 4

TeahS

Original post by georg98

Hey I'm in the same boat as you, everyone seems to have found their groups and I feel alone. My flat don't speak to me due to a drunken mistake 2 weeks ago so I'm doing the same struggling to get out of bed and staying in my room when I can hear them having fun when I'm not there. When I am there drama seems to start. I talk to people when I go out but they only seem to want to talk at that night and then night and then not again

Reply 5

awkwardshortguy

I never made any friends in the 5 months I was at UEA.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Hey, if you are in the same boat still I'm at UEA and struggling to make friends. If you want we can talk and idk have a friendly face to talk to. Only if you want to, I just know how you are feeling and as we are at the same uni may as well