Relationship with teacher. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Please, please, please anon or delete.

Ok, so I have just finished school (I mean A levels - I'm 18), and I have got into a sexual relationship with my ex teacher since finishing school (we were really friendly for years whilst I was at school).

He's 36, and a really great guy. I get one with him really well, and we share a lot of the same interests. However, those of my friends who know aren't too impressed. Apparently it's 'sick' and 'wrong', which I don't think it is.

He's not married, has no children, no partner or any other form of baggage, so it's not like I'm letting myself in for something awful. Basically, I was just wondering if anyone might have any suggestions as to how I can persuade my friends that my relationship with him really isn't 'sick' or whatever. I know I really shouldn't care about what other people think, but it is kind of hard when your best friends are continually badmouthing your relationship.

Thanks for your time
reply
watermelon sugar
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
just don't mention it to people unnecessarily? they'll probably get used to it if they don't have tot hink about it loads and time time time
0
reply
Noctilux
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#3
Report 10 years ago
#3
Ask them if it would be any different if he wasn't your teacher (which he isn't!)
0
reply
anti-matter
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#4
Report 10 years ago
#4
what subject did he teach you ?
0
reply
truthseeker
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#5
Report 10 years ago
#5
Show your friends that your relationship with your ex-teacher works, that should do it.
0
reply
h82think
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#6
Report 10 years ago
#6
I on the other hand shall give some helpful advice: give it time
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#7
(Original post by h82think)

I on the other hand shall give some helpful advice: give it time

I know it's so stupid to want 'accceptance', but it's just very difficult when it's your best friends who are so opposed to it.

To the person who said don't mention it to people unnecessarily, I've refrained from telling people as much as possible, but unfortunately we've been seen together by some of my friends, which is really how they know. Gah.
reply
Anonymous #2
#8
Report 10 years ago
#8
its not sick or wrong........... i dont know how it could be....

ermmm..i know a private tutor who taught me while i was doing my exams this year..he fancied me....lol, but i didnt but now were just friends... he never told me in person, but i found out... i do see now and then..as he teaches my brother... personally at 1st i was like ummm ok??.a bit weird...but now i gues its sweet... we people cant control our emotions, nothing wrong with that...

dont worry.. dont let your friends get in the way. if you both are happy, thats good, its you who matters not your friends
reply
Emerald
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#9
Report 10 years ago
#9
They're your friends and care about you which means they're probably worried about your relationship and that he's playing you in some way. Unfortunately they're letting their concern show in the wrong way by badmouthing him all the time. If you haven't already done so tell them how much it gets to you and that they shouldn't mention it at all if they're going to be horrible about it.
0
reply
Lord Hysteria
Badges: 16
#10
Report 10 years ago
#10
your friends ultimately act like this out of concern for you and that he may be 'using you'. I am just saying.
I think you need to ask them to express their concern in a more benefitial way.
reply
Piglet_x
Badges: 0
#11
Report 10 years ago
#11
I guess it is a bit weird...but if its love, then so be it! Theres also the age gap, I mean he's old enough to be your dad. But having said that people have had wider age gaps. I can see why your friends would be a bit uncomfortable with it though. But give it time and I'm sure they will come round.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#12
Report 10 years ago
#12
my aunt did this (although im not sure if it was a sexual relationship or not because she went to a catholic school). she is still friends with the guy 25 years later. it was frowned upon quite a bit back in those days, and i would think it would be now.

ultimately it is up to you what you decide to do, but i dont think it would really turn into a long term relationship and i could imagine that the school he works for wouldnt be too pleased if they found out because they have no proof of whether or not the two of you were having a relationship whilst you were still at school
reply
h82think
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#13
Report 10 years ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know it's so stupid to want 'accceptance'
Then I am a fool too

I get very upset if I do something and people do not accept it.
0
reply
Norfolkadam
Badges: 15
#14
Report 10 years ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
:p: Made me laugh too. I know it's so stupid to want 'accceptance', but it's just very difficult when it's your best friends who are so opposed to it.

To the person who said don't mention it to people unnecessarily, I've refrained from telling people as much as possible, but unfortunately we've been seen together by some of my friends, which is really how they know. Gah.
You really think you can have a meaningful, long-lasting relationship with this guy?

If the answer is yes, go for it. Feck your friends, tell them they will have to learn to accept it.
reply
ferry500
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#15
Report 10 years ago
#15
Unfortunately, some people see age as a major factor and will say he's double your age etc. But if there are no problems between you and him then there is no problem with the relationship
0
reply
εїз pinga εїз
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#16
Report 10 years ago
#16
I don't think it's the age, I'm thinking like the above poster, that you must of started off as a child around him. However, he probably just saw you differently one day probably quite recently.

If he's a very good looking teacher they might be jealous. If he's just good looking to you though I think they're just not being open-minded enough.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#17
(Original post by ocelotrevs)
In their mind, they're thinking he's had his eye on you since you was in Year 7. That's why I'd be iffy about it.
(Original post by εїз pinga εїз)
I don't think it's the age, I'm thinking like the above poster, that you must of started off as a child around him. However, he probably just saw you differently one day probably quite recently.
I hadn't actually thought of it like this, but I understand where you're coming from. However, I believe what pinga says is probably nearer to it, and even if it isn't, he didn't try anything on with me until I finished school.

If he's a very good looking teacher they might be jealous. If he's just good looking to you though I think they're just not being open-minded enough.

:p: Well, I think he's pretty good looking, not incredibly handsome or anything, but good looking nontheless. I've no real idea what my friends genuinely think, asa they used to go on about how they'd 'do' quite a number of our teachers, including him. Hypocritical or what...
reply
Meep!
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#18
Report 10 years ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
ultimately it is up to you what you decide to do, but i dont think it would really turn into a long term relationship and i could imagine that the school he works for wouldnt be too pleased if they found out because they have no proof of whether or not the two of you were having a relationship whilst you were still at school
They wouldn't be able to prove it either way. If there is no proof that the relationship had started whilst still at school, surely there is nothing that could be done against him?
0
reply
Erik.
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#19
Report 10 years ago
#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Please, please, please anon or delete.

Ok, so I have just finished school (I mean A levels - I'm 18), and I have got into a sexual relationship with my ex teacher since finishing school (we were really friendly for years whilst I was at school).

He's 36, and a really great guy. I get one with him really well, and we share a lot of the same interests. However, those of my friends who know aren't too impressed. Apparently it's 'sick' and 'wrong', which I don't think it is.

He's not married, has no children, no partner or any other form of baggage, so it's not like I'm letting myself in for something awful. Basically, I was just wondering if anyone might have any suggestions as to how I can persuade my friends that my relationship with him really isn't 'sick' or whatever. I know I really shouldn't care about what other people think, but it is kind of hard when your best friends are continually badmouthing your relationship.

Thanks for your time
well, I think you need to ask yourself is this a 'flash in the pan' attraction, based on the novelty of him being older and your teacher, or is it something more?

Seriously, do you think the attraction is anything to do with him being your teacher - because if you do, that isn't the sort of thing that a serious relationship that has longevity can be built on.

would you still like him if he was a random guy with a different job? what if he had the same personality attributes but was just a guy your age in your class? These questions could help you work out if this relationship is really worth potentially alienating a load of people for.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#20
(Original post by Erik.)
well, I think you need to ask yourself is this a 'flash in the pan' attraction, based on the novelty of him being older and your teacher, or is it something more?
Seriously, do you think the attraction is anything to do with him being your teacher - because if you do, that isn't the sort of thing that a serious relationship that has longevity can be built on.
I suppose it's possible, but the thing is, I just don't look on him as someone who was my teacher. I really don't think about him like that.

would you still like him if he was a random guy with a different job? what if he had the same personality attributes but was just a guy your age in your class? These questions could help you work out if this relationship is really worth potentially alienating a load of people for.

I really hope so. I just find him so easy to get on with, so easy to talk to, and that we do have a lot of the same interests. As it is, I've never really been attracted to guys my age anyway, cliche though it sounds, I just find guys my age really rather immature. Thanks for your reply, though.

I don't think my friends are ever going to see it as normal, and I suppose I was wondering if anyone else had any experience at all of a similar sort of relationship, and how they'd dealt with it with regards to the views of others.
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (399)
37.64%
No - but I will (82)
7.74%
No - I don't want to (75)
7.08%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (504)
47.55%

Watched Threads

View All