The Student Room Group

Victim of sextortion

Hi,
Yesterday I became a victim of sextortion. I feel so traumatised. I was careless and not myself. When I feel extremely down I go to towards bad habits such as watching porn and when it gets really bad I find random people on video chats to masturbate to. I have a serious masturbation and porn addiction. Yesterday I saw a cute girl and then she wanted my Skype I usually don't give such details that have my real name including but I did. I let my guard down and gave my skype. She took off her clothes so I did the same and then masturbated she them said she will call me back in 5 minutes. This time it was a male voice who had recorded me and threatened to share this video not only online but to my entire contacts including family and friends. I saw the video and the list of contacts he would send to.I have a girlfriend for 3 years who does not approve of me doing such things, I have cheated on her. I do it because it feels fake like virtual porn it doesn't feel like I am cheating it's like going to a online strip club. I haven't seen my girlfriend in over 2 years because of the long distance. I couldn't bare for her or my family to see the video so I paid the guy £400 and he deleted the video infront of me. I don't feel the same about myself anymore. Things were getting better in my life the best in 2 years of severe depression but this has left me in ruins. I know I am a disgusting person and I feel I deserve this but what I am going through is too much. The worst thing this isn't a bad dream I can wake up and forget about.
You are the victim in this case, it wasn’t your fault in any way about what happened. This is a very sticky situation to find yourself in. You for one participated in a consensual activity (I assume it was consensual), but in the end it was not consensual at all. Do you feel violated in this sense?
This in my mind has a lot of reason to be a criminal matter (let me stress, this IS a criminal offence what has happened to you), but it’s your choice whether you want to go to the police about it or not. Perhaps this would be a very stressful option for you, but it’s up to yourself. I would highly recommend going to the police or seeking some legal/criminal advice over this.
I would find someone to talk to about this be that over the phone anonymously or more specialised like a therapist through your GP. You sound like you have a lot of background issues prior to this, and this event has just been the tipping point - so please, get help by talking to someone pronto, preferably a professional. Don’t let what has happened sit and bubble inside you or eat away at you, and please don’t feel like you’re a pervert or anything etc.
Reply 2
Original post by itscourtchicks
You are the victim in this case, it wasn’t your fault in any way about what happened. This is a very sticky situation to find yourself in. You for one participated in a consensual activity (I assume it was consensual), but in the end it was not consensual at all. Do you feel violated in this sense?
This in my mind has a lot of reason to be a criminal matter (let me stress, this IS a criminal offence what has happened to you), but it’s your choice whether you want to go to the police about it or not. Perhaps this would be a very stressful option for you, but it’s up to yourself. I would highly recommend going to the police or seeking some legal/criminal advice over this.
I would find someone to talk to about this be that over the phone anonymously or more specialised like a therapist through your GP. You sound like you have a lot of background issues prior to this, and this event has just been the tipping point - so please, get help by talking to someone pronto, preferably a professional. Don’t let what has happened sit and bubble inside you or eat away at you, and please don’t feel like you’re a pervert or anything etc.


Thank you for replying means so much to me. It's just I feel I've already been through so much. So many soul splitting heart breaking experiences that I struggle to forgive myself.
1. Serious friendship fallouts
2. Cheating
3. Manipulative friends fleecing me for money
4. Forced into sexual favours and isolated from those who care.
5. Caught stealing
6. Failing academically three times in my life causing me to repeat two years and go through clearing.
7. Losing a serious election campaign
8. Applying to 600 jobs and not getting a interview
9. Getting so depressed that I would treat myself so badly
10. Caught skipping extracurricular activities due to anxiety
And now this incident I just don't know how long It will take me to recover I have a deadline in two days and stressed enough by my Masters degree. I was doing so well in life and now the tables have turned again.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for replying means so much to me. It's just I feel I've already been through so much. So many soul splitting heart breaking experiences that I struggle to forgive myself.
1. Serious friendship fallouts
2. Cheating
3. Manipulative friends fleecing me for money
4. Forced into sexual favours and isolated from those who care.
5. Caught stealing
6. Failing academically three times in my life causing me to repeat two years and go through clearing.
7. Losing a serious election campaign
8. Applying to 600 jobs and not getting a interview
9. Getting so depressed that I would treat myself so badly
10. Caught skipping extracurricular activities due to anxiety
And now this incident I just don't know how long It will take me to recover I have a deadline in two days and stressed enough by my Masters degree. I was doing so well in life and now the tables have turned again.

Sorry to hear about all of these problems, I feel like you need a big hug :frown:. How have you been keeping since?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
Yesterday I became a victim of sextortion. I feel so traumatised. I was careless and not myself. When I feel extremely down I go to towards bad habits such as watching porn and when it gets really bad I find random people on video chats to masturbate to. I have a serious masturbation and porn addiction. Yesterday I saw a cute girl and then she wanted my Skype I usually don't give such details that have my real name including but I did. I let my guard down and gave my skype. She took off her clothes so I did the same and then masturbated she them said she will call me back in 5 minutes. This time it was a male voice who had recorded me and threatened to share this video not only online but to my entire contacts including family and friends. I saw the video and the list of contacts he would send to.I have a girlfriend for 3 years who does not approve of me doing such things, I have cheated on her. I do it because it feels fake like virtual porn it doesn't feel like I am cheating it's like going to a online strip club. I haven't seen my girlfriend in over 2 years because of the long distance. I couldn't bare for her or my family to see the video so I paid the guy £400 and he deleted the video infront of me. I don't feel the same about myself anymore. Things were getting better in my life the best in 2 years of severe depression but this has left me in ruins. I know I am a disgusting person and I feel I deserve this but what I am going through is too much. The worst thing this isn't a bad dream I can wake up and forget about.


Hey man it's no Nut November if theres any time to quit a habit like that now is the time!
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Hey man it's no Nut November if theres any time to quit a habit like that now is the time!

I keep saying I will change, I shower, shave, clean my room, make a healthy meal and then I feel down again and the cycle repeats I just can't get out and tired of lying to myself that this time around I'll break free
Reply 6
Original post by itscourtchicks
Sorry to hear about all of these problems, I feel like you need a big hug :frown:. How have you been keeping since?

I just can't pull myseld together, this incident is something I've moved on from, this week my grandmother passed away and I am not too affected however I just can't focus, stay motivated long enough, I am so alone, I don't have friends, I wish I was hugged too
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you. Being a victim of sextortion is tough to go through, and I can imagine it's leaving you feeling pretty traumatized right now.
Original post by AsmadYaldin
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you. Being a victim of sextortion is tough to go through, and I can imagine it's leaving you feeling pretty traumatized right now.


It probably did 3 years ago. Hopefully less so now.
Hey man, I feel for you on the sextortion situation. It's a tough spot to be in, but know that you're not alone. If you're wondering how to deal with blackmail, it's important to reach out for help from a professional, like a therapist or counselor. They can help you work through your feelings and develop a plan to protect yourself going forward.
Original post by BobbyLourse
Hey man, I feel for you on the sextortion situation. It's a tough spot to be in, but know that you're not alone. If you're wondering how to deal with blackmail, it's important to reach out for help from a professional, like a therapist or counselor. They can help you work through your feelings and develop a plan to protect yourself going forward.


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