Email from Channel 4 (well, endemol)

Psyk

What's to say you just haven't met any girls you're sexually attracted to, why presume you won't ever be sexually attracted to any girl ever?

This post won't really work if you aren't straight, but hopefully you can get my point. Most people will describe themselves as heterosexual even though they can't know for sure that they will never be sexually attracted to someone of the same sex.

I'm not entirely straight, but yes, I see your point. However, most people will consider themselves heterosexual until proved otherwise simply because it's the social normal and it gives them an easier life. And the majority of people are heterosexual, so chances are that you are as well. Whereas presuming yourself asexual seems a strange leap to me.

Reply 62

marcusmerehay

17

does it really matter what people think of you if you are asexual?
asexual people can still have sex, because its not the same as celibacy.
i'd say, go for whatever they give you.

Reply 63

SoundDevastation

13

Joanna May

I read the wiki and it seems like a crap explanation. What's to say you just haven't met anyone you're sexually attracted to, why presume you wont ever be sexually attracted to anyone ever? If you're capable enough of being sexually aroused enough to want to masturbate then whats to say that in the right circumstances you wouldn't want to have sex with someone else?

theres nothing to say you wont ever be sexually attracted to someone, but if you never have felt the desire to sleep with someone, and (as is the case with quite a few asexuals i beleive) you dont like the thought of being sexual with someone, then its fair enough i think.

Whats to say all the gay people on TSR are just bisexuals who havent met someone of the other sex they're attracted too yet? Maybe we're all just on different ends of bisexuality... where do you draw the line? Im not saying that differentiation between sexualities is important, or that the lines are clear.. but if someone thinks they're ase and feels comfortable applying that label to themselves, then they have the right to refer to themselves as ase.

Im in a long term sexual relationship yet i never liked sex.. i used to flinch at my bf touching me in certain places and avoid seeing me naked, not because i was shy, but because i didnt want it to lead to sex. Every night i was 'tired' or 'not in the mood' or 'had to get up early'... he got upset that i didnt want to sleep with him.. i got upset at him pressurising me and because i couldnt understand my own thoughts. Discovering asexuality was a liberation, I could make sense of what I was feeling and he is finally understanding why ive been acting the way i have... its saved our relationship!

Reply 64

Spotty Dog

Joanna May

Why would asexual people masturbate? I thought the whole point about asexuality was that you just didn't have any real desire for sexual contact, aside from "romantic" things like kissing.

Personally, I get no pleasure from masturbation.

Joanna May

I read the wiki and it seems like a crap explanation. What's to say you just haven't met anyone you're sexually attracted to, why presume you wont ever be sexually attracted to anyone ever? If you're capable enough of being sexually aroused enough to want to masturbate then whats to say that in the right circumstances you wouldn't want to have sex with someone else?

What's to say (EDIT: as previous poster has pointed out) that you won't meet <enter gender opposing your sexuality> and fall maly in love with them?

Labels like 'hetrosexual' and 'asexual' aren't set in stone! You can change your mind, and shockingly enough the world won't come to an end!!

Not all asexuals enjoy masturbation either - See earlier in my post - So please don't assume that based on the responce of just a small sample of ase's.

Reply 65

Psyk

16

Joanna May

I'm not entirely straight, but yes, I see your point. However, most people will consider themselves heterosexual until proved otherwise simply because it's the social normal and it gives them an easier life. And the majority of people are heterosexual, so chances are that you are as well. Whereas presuming yourself asexual seems a strange leap to me.

Surely all of that applies to people who are homosexual? Why would they presume themselves to be homosexual when they might just be bisexual and just haven't met someone of the opposite sex they are attracted to?

Reply 66

"The people for whom everyday flirtation seems like a chore. Join us as they talk us through the stresses and the strains of being out of touch with a sexualised world. Part of the Sexuality season, Channel 4 looks at the last forgotten sexual minority - and the isolation and ridicule faced by those who give up sex altogether.

That's Dick Makes Me Sick, 10pm, Thursday on Channel 4."

Reply 67

PassoverPrince

No don't. You should be ashamed of who you are.

Reply 68

SoundDevastation

13

2 5 +

"The people for whom everyday flirtation seems like a chore. Join us as they talk us through the stresses and the strains of being out of touch with a sexualised world. Part of the Sexuality season, Channel 4 looks at the last forgotten sexual minority - and the isolation and ridicule faced by those who give up sex altogether.

That's Dick Makes Me Sick, 10pm, Thursday on Channel 4."

when? today?

Reply 69

Arteta

You may think you're educating people but I just see it as Channel 4 using you. I don't want to be mean but it's not like you're contributing to society...the negatives outweigh the positives. That means you'll have to tell your dad and EVERYBODY you know, people will laugh..it's not like you have some disease here...people won't take it too seriously. You won't get much money, to do it would be like selling your soul in my opinion, i mean you're selling your privacy for maybe a couple hundred pounds?

Reply 70

2 5 +

"The people for whom everyday flirtation seems like a chore. Join us as they talk us through the stresses and the strains of being out of touch with a sexualised world. Part of the Sexuality season, Channel 4 looks at the last forgotten sexual minority - and the isolation and ridicule faced by those who give up sex altogether.

That's Dick Makes Me Sick, 10pm, Thursday on Channel 4."

Is that supposed to be funny?

Reply 71

Arteta

Oh yeah and about the whole Radio 1 reading TSR thing, I think it does happen. I'm sure there's a disclaimer in the 'Have Your Say' forum about the BBC using your replies.

Even if it wasn't made public, it would make sense...think about it..we're a pretty wide demograph, there's all sorts of people on tsr and it's not like a random Primark selection...because on tsr people are generally opinionated and will waste time talking about it (as 'young adults' do). People have all sorts of problems here and will talk about it, it gives you a heads up on general student life...and not from adults, but from students!
So, it makes sense for companies like the BBC to use us on certain topics.

I assume when you got these emails it wasn't because you signed up to something beforehand? but because you posted about your 'problem' on here?

If they put out an advert asking for asexuals nobody would do it, but if they handpick people and make them feel special then you're more likely to do it...so yeah they probably do monitor us on here.

Reply 72

redbluegreen

Is that supposed to be funny?

Hi! Welcome to the forum.

Reply 73

2 5 +

Hi! Welcome to the forum.

Er. Hi.

To emma rainbow: email endemol with your concerns, and ask them to put in writing that they won't deliberately misrepresent your views etc. That way if they do, at least you can sue and use the money to... well, whatever.

Reply 74

redbluegreen

To emma rainbow: email endemol with your concerns, and ask them to put in writing that they won't deliberately misrepresent your views etc. That way if they do, at least you can sue and use the money to... well, whatever.

Was that meant to be helpful?

"Here's what you should do. How about you write and ask them really nicely not to do anything mean, yeah? What they'll do, right, is they'll email back, admit that that was their intention all along, and agree to spend hundreds of pounds on lawyers to draft a document that basically repeats really obvious ethical principles. And then if they don't, you can use this massively, fundamentally ambiguous document and get laughed out of court by everyone. That'll work!"

Reply 75

2 5 +

Was that meant to be helpful?

"Here's what you should do. How about you write and ask them really nicely not to do anything mean, yeah? What they'll do, right, is they'll email back, admit that that was their intention all along, and agree to spend hundreds of pounds on lawyers to draft a document that basically repeats basic ethical principles. And then if they don't, you can use this massively, fundamentally ambiguous document and get laughed out of court by everyone. That'll work!"

Jesus, who rattled your cage?

Reply 76

loopylauren

10

Arteta

You may think you're educating people but I just see it as Channel 4 using you. I don't want to be mean but it's not like you're contributing to society...the negatives outweigh the positives. That means you'll have to tell your dad and EVERYBODY you know, people will laugh..it's not like you have some disease here...people won't take it too seriously. You won't get much money, to do it would be like selling your soul in my opinion, i mean you're selling your privacy for maybe a couple hundred pounds?

Actually I know the OP in real life and no-one gives a ****, no-one laughs and not take it seriously.

Reply 77

RBG, I like the cut of your jib. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

OP: If you don't say anything stupid, you shouldn't have too much to worry about.

Reply 78