always the wrong ones! Watch

hayleyflowers
Badges: 0
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
dont you all find that you always get the wrong guys that fall for you? and the ones that you want are so far out of reach? what do you think you should do, settle for second best and go out with someone that isnt what you need, or keep striving for the one that you want to be with?what are all your thoughts on this matter, and would be nice to hear peoples situations!
0
reply
flecalicious
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
Never settle for second best! Far apart from being unfair on you, it's totally unfair to them as well! So no, definitely don't settle. No good will come of it!

As for this guy that you're striving for - my advice is to put him to the back of your mind, especially if he has a girlfriend. It just reminds me of When Harry Met Sally and Marie's affair with a married man - her constant refrain is "He's never going to leave her [his wife], is he?".
Spoiler:
Show
Eventually she ends up happy married (NOT to the married man, by the way!) to a guy who can afford to give her his full attention, time and support
.

Don't give up completely - after all, I don't know the specifics of your situation so this isn't a fully informed opinion - but don't spend all your time on him. Do other things - take your mind off of him. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, as it were. I've been in a similar situation and I got hurt all the more for having concentrated so much of my time and energy on him and how I felt about him.

I hope this helps and good luck!
0
reply
hippieglitter
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#3
Report 10 years ago
#3
In the words of Eddi Reader, It's got to beeeeeeeee perfect!
0
reply
Aaron_1507
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#4
Report 10 years ago
#4
This is stupid, it would be like me wanting a page 3 model because that is what i want, but guess what that isnt going to happen. Its not settling for second best, if you feel your settling for second best then your aims are too high or they arent the right person for you. So in a way dont settle for 'your classification of second best' but dont think your settling for second best just because you havent got the person you dream of.
0
reply
hippieglitter
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#5
Report 10 years ago
#5
(Original post by Aaron_1507)
This is stupid, it would be like me wanting a page 3 model because that is what i want, but guess what that isnt going to happen. Its not settling for second best, if you feel your settling for second best then your aims are too high or they arent the right person for you. So in a way dont settle for 'your classification of second best' but dont think your settling for second best just because you havent got the person you dream of.
I disagree. When you find the right person you'll know and till you find him everyone else is second best. Its fine to have fun with second best but don't settle for him.
0
reply
flecalicious
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6
Report 10 years ago
#6
(Original post by hippieglitter)
I disagree. When you find the right person you'll know and till you find him everyone else is second best. Its fine to have fun with second best but don't settle for him.
Said perfectly
0
reply
Aaron_1507
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#7
Report 10 years ago
#7
Well you dont disagree then because thats what i believe buts its a bit harsh to thing of someone as second best and just 'have fun with them', messing ppl about. and it all depends what you class as second best, what i class as second best is going to be based on what i look for in a girl hence everyone's second best is different and some people just can't have their second best very high in standards. But we basically agree with each other
0
reply
Kink
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#8
Report 10 years ago
#8
(Original post by hippieglitter)
I disagree. When you find the right person you'll know and till you find him everyone else is second best. Its fine to have fun with second best but don't settle for him.
I find this endearing and naive at the same time. It sounds so romantic - I really don't believe in love at first sight, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't.

I've felt like twice in my life, I'm experiencing the second time now.. on the one hand I feel the person I know is kind of meant, but on the other hand..that's completely ridiculous.
0
reply
dunnoaUSERname
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#9
Report 10 years ago
#9
if you settle for the one who is "second best", i doubt you'll ever feel completely happy and will always have that feeling that there's someone else you'd rather have.
0
reply
Aaron_1507
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#10
Report 10 years ago
#10
(Original post by dunnoaUSERname)
if you settle for the one who is "second best", i doubt you'll ever feel completely happy and will always have that feeling that there's someone else you'd rather have.
Well yeah but that has to stop somewhere it would be stupid to be wishing of a 'model' or someone that you could never get, so in that sense you are always settling for second best. In essence its all relative to your looks and personality.
0
reply
minim
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#11
Report 10 years ago
#11
I'd never settle for the second best girl.. although having said that, how do you know who is the best?
0
reply
shorty.loves.angels
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#12
Report 10 years ago
#12
(Original post by Aaron_1507)
This is stupid, it would be like me wanting a page 3 model because that is what i want, but guess what that isnt going to happen. Its not settling for second best, if you feel your settling for second best then your aims are too high or they arent the right person for you. So in a way dont settle for 'your classification of second best' but dont think your settling for second best just because you havent got the person you dream of.
That's pathetic, the OP didn't imply she wanted someone that ridiculously out of reach. It's naturally for people to want someone who is 'perfect' anyway.

I never actually haveany interest in a guy before he's showed me any... so that's probably lucky for me haha... doesn't always work out though
0
reply
Aaron_1507
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#13
Report 10 years ago
#13
I know the OP didnt but other people did.
0
reply
flecalicious
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#14
Report 10 years ago
#14
I think the concept of second best you've gone with here is completely different to everyone else's!As far as I can tell, we're talking about deciding to be with someone you don't really have any spark with and who you don't really have feelings for (irrespective of whether they're a 'model' or a completely normal person), as opposed to waiting to be with someone you actually do have spark and chemistry with.

It's about settling for someone who you feel like you should be with but who you just don't actually fancy - NOT settling for a real person in comparison to a fantasy.

0
reply
Ekpyrotic
Badges: 13
#15
Report 10 years ago
#15
This is stupid, it would be like me wanting a page 3 model because that is what i want
You have a problem. You don't even know if you'll like a page 3 model. All you're working on is a picture.

It's like choosing a property at the estate agents without going to have a look around. (equating women to property was used for clarification purposes, nothing more)
reply
dunnoaUSERname
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#16
Report 10 years ago
#16
(Original post by Aaron_1507)
Well yeah but that has to stop somewhere it would be stupid to be wishing of a 'model' or someone that you could never get, so in that sense you are always settling for second best. In essence its all relative to your looks and personality.
fair enough, but your first best doesn't have to be the best looking or "perfect". It's simply the one you like and want to be with the most. second best is the one that just seems to be 'there' or most available.
0
reply
dunnoaUSERname
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#17
Report 10 years ago
#17
(Original post by flecalicious)
I think the concept of second best you've gone with here is completely different to everyone else's!As far as I can tell, we're talking about deciding to be with someone you don't really have any spark with and who you don't really have feelings for (irrespective of whether they're a 'model' or a completely normal person), as opposed to waiting to be with someone you actually do have spark and chemistry with.

It's about settling for someone who you feel like you should be with but who you just don't actually fancy - NOT settling for a real person in comparison to a fantasy.

exactly.
0
reply
hippieglitter
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#18
Report 10 years ago
#18
(Original post by ObscenityTrials)
I find this endearing and naive at the same time. It sounds so romantic - I really don't believe in love at first sight, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't.

I've felt like twice in my life, I'm experiencing the second time now.. on the one hand I feel the person I know is kind of meant, but on the other hand..that's completely ridiculous.
This sentence shouldn't translate as I believe in love at first sight. Cos i don't but i do believe that when your with the right person you do just know, you may not know for sure straight away but you will know cos it feels different. I didn't fall in love with my boyfriend on sight but i did think there is something about him that's different to all the others.
0
reply
flecalicious
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#19
Report 10 years ago
#19
(Original post by ObscenityTrials)
I find this endearing and naive at the same time. It sounds so romantic - I really don't believe in love at first sight, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't.
I think she may mean you'll know when you find someone you fancy and would want to be in relationship with as opposed to knowing you've found "the one"...
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (344)
37.84%
No - but I will (72)
7.92%
No - I don't want to (65)
7.15%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (428)
47.08%

Watched Threads

View All