Dad and depression Watch

museobsessed
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#1
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Hi, i was wondering if people could help.
My dad had a stroke three and half years ago, before that he was the most organised efficient capable intelligent person ever (despite not have a job, he was a furniture maker and stayed at home self employed). After this hes had minor physical problems (to do with his sight range, and feeling in his left hand) and quite a few mental problems, most based around controlling his temper and other things to do with spatial awareness and ordering things. Hes gone from being way more capable than the average person to having certain things he finds incredibly difficult and having to compensate alot.
As a result of this he admits to having developed depression, which personally I think holds him back more than his disabilties. He refuses to take drugs, which is fair enough as hes on a cocktail of them already for stroke related stuff. Therapy may help, and mum is trying to push him in this direction despite it not being easy as hes not the biggest fan of talking about his feelings. He has tried a bit of councelling before, but i'm not sure how serious that was. I think a job and responsibility outside of the home would help alot, but as he is hes so controlling and grumpy that no one would like to work with him. My mum and sister find it really hard to live with him, and i did too when I wasn't at uni most of the time.
I don't really know what I want from replies. suggestions of what could help? information on CBT?
I may edit this later
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museobsessed
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anyone?
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xJessx
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I think the best thing would be to talk to a professional. I'm not sure how to go about that but I think his GP could refer him to a counsellor. An occupational therapist helps people to adapt physically after an accident or illness or he may need physiotherapy.
Sorry I can't help more, hope he gets better soon x
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hannah_dru
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I would definitely try and get him to participate in some form of counselling. I agree with his reasons for not wanting to take AD's cos I don't know how they'd react with everything else. If they wouldn't react then they might be of some help.

He might be on the waiting list for CBT for a while. I didn't even get that far but from what I heard about it it does look that if you're willing to get better and work with it then its very beneficial. My old counsellor did similar techniques on me and I have a much more positive outlook on things than I used to. It sounds like that might be what he needs, espcially with his disabilities.
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Oddball
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Counselling sounds like a good move from here, an opportunity to talk to a professional. Has he been to a GP and been diagnosed with depression? It helped me to go to a GP just to make sure that it was depression, and not just me going crazy
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museobsessed
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at jess: hes already had occupational therapy, and it helped alot but theres not much more they can do for him. its more of a mental thing

at hannah: thanks for that, very helpful. I'm still unsure if he does actually want to get help thou, i think that would be too much like admitting he has weaknesses for him

at oddball: no, hes not been diagnosed yet, as he doesn't like his GP. i'm almost certain he fits the criteria thou
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NW8_SW1_EC3
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Its great he has a loving family around him, some people have to deal with this kind of stuff by themselves. Just make sure you are always there for him, even though it must be hard for you and your family. Your right I think he does need a job to keep him in a routine and to keep him busy. Surely there must be organisations that help people in these kinds of situations to find suitable work?
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cheeky_monkey111
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i think that some sort of counselling would be the best place to start. My dad has just come through a bad time of depression- he also refused both AD and counselling at first but eventually was persuaded that he really needed both. All you can do is try your best to make him understand that talking about things is really important, perhaps suggest someone goes with him to the counselling at first?
I would also say that although getting a job may give him a littel something to occupy him, be careful that he doesnt push himself too far straight away as the pressure may make him worse. Hope it all works out ok.
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hannah_dru
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You're welcome I totally get where he's coming from but its not really a weakness. I can see your point too cos I know its hard convicing someone whose depressed to believe that. You can't really force him to get help, so I hope he does realise soon that that's the best thing for him.
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museobsessed
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(Original post by NW8_SW1_EC3)
Its great he has a loving family around him, some people have to deal with this kind of stuff by themselves. Just make sure you are always there for him, even though it must be hard for you and your family. Your right I think he does need a job to keep him in a routine and to keep him busy. Surely there must be organisations that help people in these kinds of situations to find suitable work?
Thanks
He has tried jobs, but yeh he just gets frustrated and irritated at other people, hes too controlling
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NW8_SW1_EC3
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(Original post by museobsessed)
Thanks
He has tried jobs, but yeh he just gets frustrated and irritated at other people, hes too controlling
Yeah I can imagine that would be a problem. I don't know of any but I am sure there are groups that can help people find jobs who have problems with frustration/irritation etc. I guess it takes a bit of research. I hope thinks work out and he gets better.
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museobsessed
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#12
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thanks everyone so far
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