Affair with my stepdad, what should I do? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
I am stuck in a situation in which I can’t talk to anyone and wants some advice. Recently my stepdad went back home to his country for holiday but because me and my mum has too much work, we have to take turn going to see him. I went to see him for a week and never ever would I think something would happen as we have gotten closer but never romantically. For a couple of days we just go to places together and spend time with each other but in the last two days we went out clubbing and things just happened unexpectedly. On a Friday we went to the club and drank but we still know what we were doing, and as soon as we got home he was touching me and came in my room but we only kissed. I felt wrong and I did say no but inside I kind of liked it. I was also a virgin and never had a boyfriend so to have someone touch me like he did, I was confused. The next day we just pretended nothing happen and I just thought it was the drinking that made him like that so I didn’t want to think too much of it. However we went out again the next night and this time he was even more touchy and close to me, but things escalated and we end up sleeping together. I flew back home the next day and never have I felt so much sadness and regret because i wanted to save my virginity for someone I love and would love me the same way. We had many talk when I was home and we both thought that it was very wrong what had happened and that we only love each other as stepdad and stepdaughter. But he would always messaged me and flirt or he would get jealous if he think I was talking to someone. I am so scared and sad at the moment because I am catching feelings for him and I feel so happy at the thought of seeing him which I know is very wrong but my heart feels so different. Recently my mum went to see him which I later joined them, he picked me up at the airport and he was so sweet, holding my hand and very affection, which makes me so confused as he says he love my like daughter but his action is totally different. I know what I should do but I think I am falling for him and I feel so stuck. Please be brutally honest and give me advice.
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OR321
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#2
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#2
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 🤮
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MrMusician95
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#3
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#3
You had an affair with your mum's partner? You're an awful, awful, person.
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Anonymous #3
#4
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#4
If you're under 16, please, please speak to your mother or someone you trust about this as he has done something very bad
Even if you're 18 or under I would do the above but of course it's not legally wrong

If you're over 18 + he has been your step dad since a young child I would also do the above, as although it isn't against the law - it is wrong by most people's views

If youre over 18 + he hasn't been your step dad for long then you really need to think hard about it all. Think of your mother and how she would feel.

In all situations I would personally recommend you speak to your mother
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Anonymous #3
#5
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Edit to my last post:

Please ignore the people calling you offensive terms. He is your step dad and came onto you - you didnt start the physical stuff. He has 'power' in this relationship and should be someone you can trust. I know you said he can make you feel happy and you kinda liked it etc but this is what people who have power over you can make you feel even if you know/feel it is kinda wrong (authority figures, teachers, etc). He should of known better
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If you're under 16, please, please speak to your mother or someone you trust about this as he has done something very bad
Even if you're 18 or under I would do the above but of course it's not legally wrong

If you're over 18 + he has been your step dad since a young child I would also do the above, as although it isn't against the law - it is wrong by most people's views

If youre over 18 + he hasn't been your step dad for long then you really need to think hard about it all. Think of your mother and how she would feel.

In all situations I would personally recommend you speak to your mother
I just turned 19 and he is 30. I don’t want to wreck their relationship as I always look up to them as being perfect. I know it’s very awful what’s happened and I want to end it but he makes it so difficult for me. I do want to go back to how things were before but I don’t want my mum to know as it would destroy her. He would say one thing one day and do another the next day that’s why I don’t know what to do.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Edit to my last post:

Please ignore the people calling you offensive terms. He is your step dad and came onto you - you didnt start the physical stuff. He has 'power' in this relationship and should be someone you can trust. I know you said he can make you feel happy and you kinda liked it etc but this is what people who have power over you can make you feel even if you know/feel it is kinda wrong (authority figures, teachers, etc). He should of known better
I just feel so empty all the time and have only spoken to one person about this, even she was shocked because she has known him for over 10 years and would never expect this from him. He was never intimate and always very careful around me that’s why I trust him completely before, ejected expecting anything to happen, but yes he made the move on me and somehow blame on the drinking, saying he didn’t know what he was doing, but how can you blame on the drinking 2 nights on the row? I just hate myself at the moment because I know my feelings for him is wrong and I am so confused.
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Sbucks
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Lmaooooooo
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username4873044
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#9
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#9
He should have known better than to have slept with his own stepdaughter!
Don't blame yourself, it's obvious from what you said that he had all the control in this affair
After everything he did to you you developed feelings for him?
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Anonymous #4
#10
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Honestly it is probably best just to be completely truthful to your mother. If you don't the thought will always be there so it's better to just be honest. She will more than likely blame him since your still young and relatively immature compared to him. If it ruins their relationship so be it because if he was willing to cheat on your mum with you then he would be willing to cheat on your mum with other people.

P.S we all make mistakes in life so ignore people on this thread insulting you. They don't understand the position you were in so pay no attention to them.
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly it is probably best just to be completely truthful to your mother. If you don't the thought will always be there so it's better to just be honest. She will more than likely blame him since your still young and relatively immature compared to him. If it ruins their relationship so be it because if he was willing to cheat on your mum with you then he would be willing to cheat on your mum with other people.

P.S we all make mistakes in life so ignore people on this thread insulting you. They don't understand the position you were in so pay no attention to them.
I really appreciate your understanding.
I just can’t bring myself to tell my mum because I blame myself for this, for letting it happen. He told me many times to just forget it and it will never happen again, but when it’s your first time it’s not easy to forget. It just angers me that he says one thing and does another... I know he’s got feelings for me as well which confuses me even more. As for other people, I don’t expect any sympathy from anyone as I know this is a big shame, even I am shock with myself and what’s happened.
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Anonymous #5
#12
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I'd suggest not flying out to see him for a while, just to give you both space to think about what you did and you might find a boy back home who you become romantically involved in thus removing the affection you have for your stepdad (which is wrong on so many levels may I just add)

If the next time you are alone he tries to pursue you again, tell your mum. She doesn't deserve to be with a man like him in my opinion. Or you could tell her now but it's your life. You're just digging your grave deeper by not telling her now though.

I feel very sorry that you even got in this position in the first place - yeah you're an adult but a very young one at that. Nevertheless, I hope you can move past it.
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Anonymous #4
#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really appreciate your understanding.
I just can’t bring myself to tell my mum because I blame myself for this, for letting it happen. He told me many times to just forget it and it will never happen again, but when it’s your first time it’s not easy to forget. It just angers me that he says one thing and does another... I know he’s got feelings for me as well which confuses me even more. As for other people, I don’t expect any sympathy from anyone as I know this is a big shame, even I am shock with myself and what’s happened.
From what I can tell from the limited information here, the majority of the blame lies on him. Yes you were both intoxicated but if he's got feelings for you then that means the alcohol just brought out what he always wanted. Telling your mum is the best thing for both of you because she can dump the guy who is no good to both of you and you'll be able to move on. I understand it's really hard but it's honestly the best thing. You're mum will see that you genuinely feel remorse for what happened.
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Anonymous #6
#14
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This person came for help and advice not offensive language. Why don’t YOU have some self respect and go put your mouth on someone else’s page
(Original post by Anonymous)
You are an horrendous, disgusting, trashy person. Want me to say more? Have a bit of self respect, what you did was disgusting. Have some common courtesy and own up
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MidgetFever
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#15
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Who goes clubbing with their stepdad in the first place? :confused:
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C.Goodyear
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#16
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If I was in your situation I would stay away from that family, what kind of a man is this and what type of a person is your mother to choose a man like that? Degeneracy.
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Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
From what I can tell from the limited information here, the majority of the blame lies on him. Yes you were both intoxicated but if he's got feelings for you then that means the alcohol just brought out what he always wanted. Telling your mum is the best thing for both of you because she can dump the guy who is no good to both of you and you'll be able to move on. I understand it's really hard but it's honestly the best thing. You're mum will see that you genuinely feel remorse for what happened.
I have known him for 4 years, we really didn’t get on in the first 2 years and took me a long time to be close with him. Once we got on, I love him like family. There was always a boundary between the two of us at the beginning, but my mum always wanted us to be close so she kept pressuring me into asking him permission if I can go out so he feels more apart in my life. Overtime we got close and I always ask him if I can go out and many things happened which made him more strict on me. He would want to know what time am coming home, who am with when I go out and stuff like that. My mum also got stricter on me as well because of him. But I always, always think of it as him caring for me, at the end of the day I never had a dad and didn’t know what way was right or wrong. They also just got married and I don’t want to wreck the family. But every time we talk to what’s happened, he just blame on the drinking but I know he drank less than me the second night. He also sometimes flirt when we talk and just altogether very confusing
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Anonymous #1
#18
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(Original post by MidgetFever)
Who goes clubbing with their stepdad in the first place? :confused:
We didn’t intentionally go out “clubbing” it’s just that I never been out in his country so he wanted to show me and we just had a couple of drinks. Their clubs had live singers so I wanted to see that.
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xxBANECHANxx
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yikes
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ohdahnnyboi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am stuck in a situation in which I can’t talk to anyone and wants some advice. Recently my stepdad went back home to his country for holiday but because me and my mum has too much work, we have to take turn going to see him. I went to see him for a week and never ever would I think something would happen as we have gotten closer but never romantically. For a couple of days we just go to places together and spend time with each other but in the last two days we went out clubbing and things just happened unexpectedly. On a Friday we went to the club and drank but we still know what we were doing, and as soon as we got home he was touching me and came in my room but we only kissed. I felt wrong and I did say no but inside I kind of liked it. I was also a virgin and never had a boyfriend so to have someone touch me like he did, I was confused. The next day we just pretended nothing happen and I just thought it was the drinking that made him like that so I didn’t want to think too much of it. However we went out again the next night and this time he was even more touchy and close to me, but things escalated and we end up sleeping together. I flew back home the next day and never have I felt so much sadness and regret because i wanted to save my virginity for someone I love and would love me the same way. We had many talk when I was home and we both thought that it was very wrong what had happened and that we only love each other as stepdad and stepdaughter. But he would always messaged me and flirt or he would get jealous if he think I was talking to someone. I am so scared and sad at the moment because I am catching feelings for him and I feel so happy at the thought of seeing him which I know is very wrong but my heart feels so different. Recently my mum went to see him which I later joined them, he picked me up at the airport and he was so sweet, holding my hand and very affection, which makes me so confused as he says he love my like daughter but his action is totally different. I know what I should do but I think I am falling for him and I feel so stuck. Please be brutally honest and give me advice.
I swear this only happens in porn :|
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