Depression Society MkII

*pink_sapphires

Hi, don't think we've met before? I'm Liz *waves*

I know exactly how you feel. I'm grumpy, then sad, then numb, then fed up, then worried, then angry....i'm just a sea of negativity really! I bet things triggering it aren't really tiny pathetic things. I think a lot of things going on for me are tiny and pathetic but when I talk to people, they all disagree with me. Is there anything in particular on your mind you want to talk about?

------------------------

Message to all....apologies if I'm not great at posting on here at the minute...Mum is being very controlling and limiting my internet access. She doesn't want me on Facebook or MSN and I have to have a good reason to come online or else she turns the router off. Am considering buying a bluetooth O2 USB internet thingy for £10 a month so I can get online 24/7 but we'll see. Everyone can contact me via text though....if you don't have my number, PM me for it :smile:

and love to you all. xxx

Hello

Im Tom

Yeah i often feel like a big negative gloom cloud :redface:

I think its a mix of big things and then just everyday frustrations, i cant really think of one thing in particular, mainly just people randomly having a go at me today or ignoring me, i feel a bit invisible. So then i think too much and thats never good :redface:

Reply 7042

Origin of the pancake

Hello

Im Tom

Yeah i often feel like a big negative gloom cloud :redface:

I think its a mix of big things and then just everyday frustrations, i cant really think of one thing in particular, mainly just people randomly having a go at me today or ignoring me, i feel a bit invisible. So then i think too much and thats never good :redface:

Oh I'm like that! I overthink everything. It's really really annoying. Wish I could stop it but I can't :frown:

I feel lonely and invisible too. And I feel locked up in my own house as I have no money and no car and no one to go and see. Wish I could find a job.

Are you at college/uni?

Reply 7043

*pink_sapphires*

Oh I'm like that! I overthink everything. It's really really annoying. Wish I could stop it but I can't :frown:

I feel lonely and invisible too. And I feel locked up in my own house as I have no money and no car and no one to go and see. Wish I could find a job.

Are you at college/uni?

Yeah, it sucks, and not being occupied makes it worse :hugs:

I have got a degree and am working a crappy job atm, doing postgrad in sept. Am off work on long term sick thing atm so i know what youre feeling re.being lonely and locked up, its not fun at all. Are you on a gap year?

Reply 7044

Origin of the pancake

Yeah, it sucks, and not being occupied makes it worse :hugs:

I have got a degree and am working a crappy job atm, doing postgrad in sept. Am off work on long term sick thing atm so i know what youre feeling re.being lonely and locked up, its not fun at all. Are you on a gap year?

Oh what is your degree in? And what do you class as a crappy job?

I started uni in September but really didn't like it so I dropped out at the beginning of December and came home. Can't get a job though as I don't have any experience and stuff going on at home isn't great. Starting a college course in 2 weeks in Marketing. It's 1 night a week for 12 weeks and I get a qualification at the end of it so quite looking forward to it. Don't know if I'll even like marketing but it's something to do :smile:

-----------

Gav just messaged me on facebook saying sorry for not getting back to me, he was busy with friends yesterday and skiing today. He's saying sorry a lot at the minute. I'm worried about him.

Reply 7045

*pink_sapphires*

Oh what is your degree in? And what do you class as a crappy job?

I started uni in September but really didn't like it so I dropped out at the beginning of December and came home. Can't get a job though as I don't have any experience and stuff going on at home isn't great. Starting a college course in 2 weeks in Marketing. It's 1 night a week for 12 weeks and I get a qualification at the end of it so quite looking forward to it. Don't know if I'll even like marketing but it's something to do :smile:

-----------

Gav just messaged me on facebook saying sorry for not getting back to me, he was busy with friends yesterday and skiing today. He's saying sorry a lot at the minute. I'm worried about him.

Law. The crappy job is just kind of admin style stuff, boring as hell and a bit of a waste of a degree, kind of glad for the sick leave tbh :smile:

Oh, that sucks, what were you doing at uni? Its not the best time to need a job either atm, im sure something might come along though :smile:

That sounds fun, better to do something constructive with your time off rather than waste it, plus you'll get to meet some new people.

I say sorry a lot :redface:

Normally though thats because i think about what i do and get immense guilty feelings over nothing. Sorry, not much advice there :redface:

Reply 7046

Not Invented Yet

12

Hello all.

I've spent my whole day today reading, which has been sort of nice except for the fact that I knew the whole time that I was meant to be writing a French essay, so the guilt spoiled it a bit. I'm supposed to be starting to catch up with some of the work I'm missing but tbh my motivation is nil. I just end up not bothering, even though I know I'll feel guitly and crap about it. Still, at least I'm now one book closer to my 100-by-the-end-of-the-year target.

As I type, my best friend is on MSN asking me when I will be back at school, and saying that I'll never know til I try and whatnot. And I don't know what to say to her because there is no reason that I shouldn't be back at school, apart from the fact that I will end up spending the whole day hiding in the toilets having panic attacks. :banghead:

Reply 7047

Not Invented Yet

Hello all.

I've spent my whole day today reading, which has been sort of nice except for the fact that I knew the whole time that I was meant to be writing a French essay, so the guilt spoiled it a bit. I'm supposed to be starting to catch up with some of the work I'm missing but tbh my motivation is nil. I just end up not bothering, even though I know I'll feel guitly and crap about it. Still, at least I'm now one book closer to my 100-by-the-end-of-the-year target.

As I type, my best friend is on MSN asking me when I will be back at school, and saying that I'll never know til I try and whatnot. And I don't know what to say to her because there is no reason that I shouldn't be back at school, apart from the fact that I will end up spending the whole day hiding in the toilets having panic attacks. :banghead:

Hello

What are you reading? How many have you read out of your 100 book goal?

As for your best friend, does she understand what you're going through? Is there anyway should could support you during the day?

Reply 7048

Not Invented Yet

12

*pink_sapphires*

Hello

What are you reading? How many have you read out of your 100 book goal?

As for your best friend, does she understand what you're going through? Is there anyway should could support you during the day?

I just finished "We need to talk about Kevin". It put me off ever having kids, ever... :afraid:

! It was my 13th book so far, so I'm on track.

I've tried to explain it to my friend without giving her too many details, because I don't want her to worry (which she does). She's admitted to me that she doesn't really understand at all, although she is trying. There's certainly no way she'd ever intend to upset me by asking innocent questions - I would just rather she didn't because I hate admitting my failures to her. That sounds weird considering she's my best friend, and I'm not sure why it is. I guess I just don't want her to know how pathetic I am... I want her to still see me how she's always seen me.

Anyway, how are you doing?

Reply 7049

blackfish

7

Not Invented Yet

Hello all.
As I type, my best friend is on MSN asking me when I will be back at school, and saying that I'll never know til I try and whatnot. And I don't know what to say to her because there is no reason that I shouldn't be back at school, apart from the fact that I will end up spending the whole day hiding in the toilets having panic attacks. :banghead:

I have an understanding how that feels. I suffer from Depression and Anxiety. Whilst I was at school I had a massive nervous breakdown. I hated school. I was bullied by just about everyone. I used to get panic attacks. I used to get attacked on the bus home that it got to the point that I had to leave last lesson 5 mins early and the bus drivers would lock me in the galley.

Nowadays I still have Depression and i'm also Psychotic. I get panic attacks in stressful situations. I very nearly had one on Tuesday because the train was so busy and First Class wasn't available. My chest was so painful!! I got myself into a right state :frown:

So although I don't know exactly what your going through, if you ever want to talk then PM me and i'll send you my e-mail address :smile:

I have had a terrible day at work. To be honest i'm not sure that I can cope with being this lonely for much longer :frown:

to all

Reply 7050

kiss_me_now9

16

Hmm.

I'm so undecided at the moment. I think I made a mistake telling the girl that I was meant to live with next year that I definatly won't be back after summer, because now she's not talking to me very much. Fair enough, I'm letting them down on the house but the location and size of it means they won't have many issues finding a new person... I know that the whole group goes round her's on a Wednesday night to watch Waterloo Road (I was invited a few times) and yesterday when we said bye after we walked home from our lectures together she just said see you Friday. Damn it, I had a friend, and then I ****** it up :frown:

I'm also missing horses like m-a-d, I haven't ridden in months because I can't stand the riding school down here (too harsh in their methods) and because I can't get anywhere else. I miss my old loan horse, who's not on the riding schools list of horses on their website anymore, and I'm worried about whether she's still alive or not. I miss my old riding school, and my old riding friends, and the horses that taught me so much. (One in particular, who was taken by his owner to another livery yard after she decided she didn't want him used in the riding school anymore - I was the only one who rode him) Gah.

All my flatmates have gone out without me again.

Reply 7051

kiss_me_now9

Hmm.

I'm so undecided at the moment. I think I made a mistake telling the girl that I was meant to live with next year that I definatly won't be back after summer, because now she's not talking to me very much. Fair enough, I'm letting them down on the house but the location and size of it means they won't have many issues finding a new person... I know that the whole group goes round her's on a Wednesday night to watch Waterloo Road (I was invited a few times) and yesterday when we said bye after we walked home from our lectures together she just said see you Friday. Damn it, I had a friend, and then I ****** it up :frown:

I'm also missing horses like m-a-d, I haven't ridden in months because I can't stand the riding school down here (too harsh in their methods) and because I can't get anywhere else. I miss my old loan horse, who's not on the riding schools list of horses on their website anymore, and I'm worried about whether she's still alive or not. I miss my old riding school, and my old riding friends, and the horses that taught me so much. (One in particular, who was taken by his owner to another livery yard after she decided she didn't want him used in the riding school anymore - I was the only one who rode him) Gah.

All my flatmates have gone out without me again.

Kent sucks...end of story :p:

Massive hugs for you :hugs:

The people there aren't the friendliest bunch are they?

Sorry you're missing horses. Can you not go home to ride for a weekend?

Reply 7052

My friends tried to throw me a kind of suprise cheer up house party, it was going alright and then someone said something and i cried and then they all left, i feel like such an idiot for crying in front of them :sad:

Reply 7053

kiss_me_now9

16

*pink_sapphires*

Kent sucks...end of story :p:

Massive hugs for you :hugs:

The people there aren't the friendliest bunch are they?

Sorry you're missing horses. Can you not go home to ride for a weekend?

Lol, I get your sentiment completly! I just didn't think these girls were like that... Now I'm beginning to think they were only friendly with me because I needed someone to live with next year.

Not really, my parents wouldn't be impressed with that! They pay when I'm at home :redface:

They didn't care much when I said that I hadn't ridden since before January, they went 'Oh, at least you're saving money' :rolleyes:

Hopefully, if I do my driving licence in Summer, I can get a little run around and get myself a share horse when I'm back home.

Reply 7054

Pocket Calculator

14

kiss_me_now9

Hmm.

oooh! Where are you in Kent? I know people in Ashford. And in Sidcup. And I know a fair few from Deal and Sandwich too. How I've ended up knowing all these kent-folk I have no idea...

Reply 7055

kiss_me_now9

16

Pocket Calculator

oooh! Where are you in Kent? I know people in Ashford. And in Sidcup. And I know a fair few from Deal and Sandwich too. How I've ended up knowing all these kent-folk I have no idea...

Actually, I'm from Bucks originally, and I'm just here for Uni - Canterbury. Nice city, but not home, y'know?

I'm evil I'm sorry.

becki08

I'm evil I'm sorry.

What have you done hun? :hugs:

Reply 7058

becki08

Everyone hates me like they should. I'm an evil stupid pathetic, greedy, freak, failure, friendless, bad, idiot, bitch yadda yadda yadda. i should die.

Reply 7059

Dinendal Leralonde