Girls are confusing Watch

artemis84
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#1
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#1
I'm sure whole books could be written on the above title.

Anyway my recent experience is of someone who I used know at college. I was quite attracted to her, but I didn't see her that often and I (think) I blew any chances of a relationship after acting stupid in front of her while drunk at somebody's birthday party.

Since then I've been at uni for two years, had a gf for some of that time, and largely forgot about the college girl. In fact I hadn't spoken to her for over a year after she stopped logging onto msn messenger.

Then out of the blue I got a text from her a few days ago, saying would I accompany her to an outdoor classical concert that evening? Naturally I said yes, and went along and had a really good time. We got on well, and she had even brought along some wine, which eased things along. Basically all the ingrediants I'd include if I were planning a date.

Now I'm probably reading way too much into all of this, but it is just a bit random for this to happen. I've added her on Facebook (the root of all evil) since then, and spotted that she's "interested in men", such is the bluntness of facebook. Which leaves me wondering if I should do anything about it.

Right now I can imagine a spectrum of situations ranging from her giving me an obvious positive hint, to the "standard meeting an old friend" scenario (and from experience the latter is more likely). I should probably just leave it, but there's an opportunity to do the one thing that no guy should ever do, which is to send a text, basically saying "Do you want a relationship or not?".

As I would otherwise hardly, if ever, see her, the probable resulting embarassment wouldn't really matter. It's just annoying that girls are so complicated, so this straightforward method never works - I actually did this when I was about 12 years old and the reply was along the lines of "what an earth were you thinking". Instead guys have to work on them for ages before trying to ask them out.

But should I just do it anyway, if for nothing else, to satisfy my curiosity?
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Yawn-er
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I actually read all of this. =s

Go for it? And then tell us what the reply - if there is a reply - is.
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neenbean
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a bit of romance wouldn't go amiss if you want a straight answer. perhaps go for coffee or something- spend a little bit more time together and then if you think it's right go for it. in the time you spend with her you will learn some stuff that you could use in wooing her if she likes the film love actually appear at her door with big signs and a cd player. good luck
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ArchedEdge
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Just ask her out to meet you again and see what happens.
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sakura_starfall
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well that sounds like a date to me - if it was just meeting up with old friends surely she would have invited someone else along? However, i could be completely wrong, as you say, us girlies are very confusing so my advice would be to invite her out for the evening and see how it goes.
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Sprout_hair
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Yeah i think you are reading too much into this..
Give it more time.. She will give you the signs..
Good luck!
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Arteta
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What the hell, don't just text her asking for a relationship. First of all it's too early, second of all never communicate anything important over a TEXT.
Don't do all of your flirting over msn or anything, just meet with her again and see how it goes...it sounds as if she likes you, but don't mess it all up by trying to get her in a relationship now..you'll spoil the fun...and she may run a mile.

She doesn't sound too confusing to me
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PoisonDonna
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Don't send a text like that, even if she does wanna get with you a text like that would freak her out. Do it in person :p:

Asking you to meet her randonly out of the blue is odd, but don't take it to mean she wants to marry you, just go with the flow and see how it goes for a while, then maybe push for more when you're sure that's actually what she wants, and it's not just meeting an old friend.
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artemis84
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Arteta, you're right of course, I do more or less know the right way to do it, but I almost can't be bothered because of all the time you have to invest into it.

This kind of situation almost never happens (or not to me anyway) where a girl apparantly makes a big first move. The ball is now in my court, and the fact that we go to different unis and now have different friends means I could get away with sending a stupid text.

Like I said it's more for curiosity, but I'll probably chicken out and end up trying to go about it the orthodox way as usual.
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openbookuk
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Girls don't want to be understood, just adored.
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Erradhadh
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Er, let's turn the situation around.

Say you didn't fancy a girl, but you knew her a while ago, and you didn't have anyone to go with to some sort of event. You invite them, and have a lovely time, and enjoy yourself greatly.

The next day, you receive an SMS: "Do you want a relationship?"

A girl, in this situation, would be labeled as too pressing, too desperate, etc.

No matter what sex, it's not wise to make such a move.
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linda helena
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Do NOT send a text asking if she wants a relationship. Do NOT ask her anything like that at this point. Way, way, way too soon. Just suggest that you meet again and then see what happens.
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Coxy7003
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Nah girls are easy. shoes and shopping are the way to their hearts.......

jks

but yeh, girls are very confusing. Very difficult to know what to do with them.

And i wouldnt say "do you want a relationship or not". I would say something more along the lines of "i had alot of fun last time, do you want to go out again sometime?"...its less blunt.....
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LokisFenrir
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Be obvious, it's the only way you can make it move in the right direction.
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