...Being the other guy Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
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My best mate and I chill out together a lot. Anyway, as young working professionals we go out to bars to socialise on the weekend and fun.

Lately I have noticed a trend. Every time we have been out together, he is like a chick magnet, girls flock to him without even trying (in a duo or groups). Next thing I know, I get introduced into the conversation and then we have banter with the girls.

It is fun, but for me it has become pretty annoying, as what ends up happening, is that the girls end up ignoring my comments if I add something to the conversation. Whereas with him, they are very receptive, to the most minute detail. It is only when he stops giving attention to one of the girls (he basically gives her to me, then moves onto the next one), they they are forced into a sitatution to talk to me. Even then, I can't seem to have a decent conversation as they are trying to find a way to chat to my mate again.

Eventually night ends, I have fun with my friend! and then when it comes to saying our "bye byes", the girls ask my mate for his contact details, good hug, and then give me a flimsy bye bye - as they know I am his mate.

I am not jealous, just a bit annoyed at the way things unfold, I am by nature a pretty social guy, but probably because I am not as good looking as my friend often I find I have to try much harder just to get heard in the conversation or shown any attention at all. The fact that this is happening continiously is a bit of a joke.
Even if I do say something, chances are they are paying far too much attention on him to even notice me. So guys, what should I do when out socialising with my mate and we run into a group of girls, I know I will have a good time anyway - but how can I just integrate better?
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PoisonDonna
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That must be fairly annoying. I would say not every girl must be like that, and there must be some that are happy to talk to you? If not, maybe try taking another friend along for drinks too, so hopefully girls will talk to all of you, or worst case scenario they talk to your "hot" friend, and you can talk to the other friend?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 10 years ago
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(Original post by PoisonDonna)
That must be fairly annoying. I would say not every girl must be like that, and there must be some that are happy to talk to you? If not, maybe try taking another friend along for drinks too, so hopefully girls will talk to all of you, or worst case scenario they talk to your "hot" friend, and you can talk to the other friend?
lol The worst case scienario often becomes a reality. He basically hands over the girls that he is 100% not interested in (...who seem to absolutely dig him, like every other girl there) to me. The problem now, is when I am talking to her, trying to build rapport or whatever (I am not even intentionally at this point trying to get with her, just want to chat), she goes on about my friend; "wow isn't he a great dancer" *sighs*. So I can't seem to have a normal conversation with her to begin with, as she wants to talk to him.

Eventually, I accept that it is his night and just think to myself that I can't be arsed to make an effort, they are too fixtated on that guy, so just end up having banter with my mate sharing his moment. The quality of night does decrease because as he is the centre of attention, and although he is constantly trying to get me involve introducing me to x,y,z person, the problem lies in me being shifted to the side by the girls we are socialising with i.e. a common scienario would be: If I say something very loud, repeatedly, the girls would not respond. Whereas, if he says something very quitely - instant response. This is annoying, because I want to share the moment in the respect that I want to be social with him and make jokes etc expecting banter going back and forth.

Sometimes yeah we bring another person along (a friend of someone elses friend). Same thing happens, he steals the show we get shifted onto the side. This is an ideal situation if I was anti-social and didn't want to expand my social network, however this isn't the case.
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PoisonDonna
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(Original post by Anonymous)
lol The worst case scienario often becomes a reality. He basically hands over the girls that he is 100% not interested in (...who seem to absolutely dig him, like every other girl there) to me. The problem now, is when I am talking to her, trying to build rapport or whatever (I am not even intentionally at this point trying to get with her, just want to chat), she goes on about my friend; "wow isn't he a great dancer" *sighs*. So I can't seem to have a normal conversation with her to begin with, as she wants to talk to him.
Sorry but I think you may be exaggerrating a little bit there, most girls aren't so tactless that they would do that, I know I for one wouldn't. Are you maybe focussing one one situation that made you feel this way, and thinking all girls do it? How many have done this? Unless your mate is Brad Pitt, he can't be so amazing that the girl can't talk to you a little bit?
I'm not saying what the girls do is right, it isn't by a long shot, I'm just having a hard time imagining every girl doing this to you.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 10 years ago
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(Original post by PoisonDonna)
Sorry but I think you may be exaggerrating a little bit there, most girls aren't so tactless that they would do that, I know I for one wouldn't. Are you maybe focussing one one situation that made you feel this way, and thinking all girls do it? How many have done this? Unless your mate is Brad Pitt, he can't be so amazing that the girl can't talk to you a little bit?
I'm not saying what the girls do is right, it isn't by a long shot, I'm just having a hard time imagining every girl doing this to you.
Sure, it has not happened every time, however more often then not it has. At first I thought I was being a paranoid, but this same scienario keeps on reoccuring, not all the time but a large majority of the time.

No your right, they do talk to me a 'little bit', by that mean its more like answering my questions out of politeness when I am trying to build rapport as opposed to having a normal convo like you and I are having now. Whereas if it was my mate, they would be more receptive by making sure the conversation is longated, even if what he says is minimal.
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PoisonDonna
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sure, it has not happened every time, however more often then not it has. At first I thought I was being a paranoid, but this same scienario keeps on reoccuring, not all the time but a large majority of the time.

No your right, they do talk to me a 'little bit', by that mean its more like answering my questions out of politeness when I am trying to build rapport as opposed to having a normal convo like you and I are having now. Whereas if it was my mate, they would be more receptive by making sure the conversation is longated, even if what he says is minimal.
In that case tbh, they're probably not the type of girls you want to speak to then :rolleyes:

I appreciate it is annoying but I don't think you can really change what they do, unfortunately.

:hugs:
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