My sleeping pattern is not good and I do not feel happy Watch

Tryingtobehappy
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Hello to anyone reading ! I hope you are having an amazing day ! I just wanted to write that I have been sleeping and waking up at unusual times ever since I joined university. I am a first year Business Management student studying at university for a month now and I have been living in student accommodation, which means I am living independently for the first time. This unfortunately means that I am not going to be the best at eating and sleeping enough and at the right times. Now please do not criticize me but because I have a lot of late lectures and also a lot of days off and right now I do not really like my course so I have not been doing a lot of work lately.I have also not been required to wake up as early as 8 or 9am and so I have not established a routine yet. I have also been struggling with depression for a few years now so I have been sleeping for more than 12 hours a day and have been sleeping at 9:00am, staying up all night and sleeping when it is the day and waking up at times when it is 9 or 10pm, when it is night time. It feels like I am pulling a night shift but I am not.So basically I go to sleep when others wake up and I wake up when people either go to sleep or are getting ready to sleep. I understand people stay up all night to do work but I have just been really depressed lately that I am just sleeping a lot and all I do when I wake up is just watch movies and tv shows on my laptop, I know I should not be doing this but I just can not help it. I have also been struggling to make friends and do not get along with my flatmates and have been really trying to make friends.

Now this is a serious thing, so please do not criticize me and say I am just lazy and it is all my fault because I have heard it before and do not need to hear it again. This is a whole different thing and people who have been through my position will understand this. Do not just say get up and make friends and sort yourself out as this does not help either. Also do not just say visit the GP as I understand this may help other people but in the past I have been to the GP for many different problems and have expressed my concerns greatly but they do not seem to care and have not helped me and if you say to do this, I will probably not go.

I want advice from anybody reading, how to make my sleeping better and has anybody been through the same position as me and are there any strategies of coping with it ? Please no negative comments, only positive comments. Please help me, I really need help with this and I am willing to communicate back. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a nice day !
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c.shell
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I'm just a GCSE student with no experience of anything like that, but maybe you could try gradually adjusting the time you go to sleep and the time you get up, so at first you could try going to sleep at 10 or 11am for a few days or maybe a week, hopefully you'll wake up later too, and then try going to sleep at 12 or 1pm for a while, then 2pm to 3pm and eccetera until you are going to sleep at a healthier time, maybe 9pm or 10pm. Like I said before, I'm just guessing but I hope this helps a bit! Good luck!
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Blackstarr
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I am in the same position. Depression at university is real
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Qualms&Facepalms
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Oversleeping can be detrimental to your health. It will take some time to establish your sleep routine, especially your circadian cycle, try excercising in the day to help. I recommend watching ted talks on sleep. Hope this helps!
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AzureCeleste
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I would just try and force yourself to go to bed at the right time. So when you 'wake up' at 9pm in the evening, basically go to bed and even though you aren't tired stay there all night. Have an alarm for the morning and force yourself to stay awake during the day and eat proper meals at breakfast lunch and dinner.
This should fix your sleeping routine (It's a bit like what you'd do if you change time zone)
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Tryingtobehappy
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(Original post by c.shell)
I'm just a GCSE student with no experience of anything like that, but maybe you could try gradually adjusting the time you go to sleep and the time you get up, so at first you could try going to sleep at 10 or 11am for a few days or maybe a week, hopefully you'll wake up later too, and then try going to sleep at 12 or 1pm for a while, then 2pm to 3pm and eccetera until you are going to sleep at a healthier time, maybe 9pm or 10pm. Like I said before, I'm just guessing but I hope this helps a bit! Good luck!
Hello C.Shell, thank you for replying ! This sounds like a good idea basically lowering the hours I go to sleep gradually until I get to a good sleep time. I also came up of another idea, where I could just have one bad day of sleep, like for example I wake up at 7:00pm, stay up the whole night and whole day and go to sleep at about 8:00pm so basically stay awake for 24 hours and wake up early the next day, it will be an absolute torture for that day for me but it can work.I am determined to get a good sleeping pattern but to expand on what I said on the thread, I only really wake up when there is something really important like a lecture or seminar so for example, I said that I have really late lectures so one day I have a lecture at 4:00pm but instead of waking up a few hours early to relax and prepare, I wake up at 3:00pm and get ready and go straight to the lecture and then I go back to my flat straight after. This basically means that I only leave my flat when there are classes otherwise I stay in my flat. I know I should be going out and making friends during my free time but I have been struggling so I have just given up and just stayed in my flat. It's funny because a few months ago, I was in my last year of college and for 5 days a week, I woke up at 7:00am to catch the bus for college and I would finish my day at 3:00pm, now I am starting most of my days/nights at 7:00pm, things have gradually changed over a few months.

Also you are a GCSE student so good luck with your exams in the summer ! I know it seems hard now but trust me university is much harder and in my experience I think GCSE and A-Level is enough qualifications if you want my opinion, university is not a good choice. I am already finidng university difficult and am already thinking of dropping out but maybe you could be different. I would recommend just working or getting a good apprenticeship. Unless it depends on what you are doing then you may need to go to university. Only go to university if you are mentally equipped for the situation and I mean 100%, if you are anything below that, you will struggle a lot like me. So you may be feeling good at GCSE level now but if you start to feel down in college then you know university will not be for you, this is what happened to me where I was ok during GCSE level but near the end of year 11, I started to get really depressed and hate the work but then I thought I gave college a chance, this made me feel worse but then I thought university would make me feel better but then guess what ? It got even worse so do not risk it if you do not feel like it, now I have to be at university for 4 years. I do not really know what kind of person you are so if you like parties and you are a very confident person and extroverted and very good at making friends then you will make a lot of friends who can help you out in your studies and you can work with them in the library and have fun with them. If you are like me then you may struggle because so far after a month, I have not found anyone worth talking to.

I am not trying to scare you, hopefully I did not, are you already thinking about going to university ? Or is it too early for you to decide yet ? If you need any help with university let me know or maybe write a thread about it and I will try and help you as best I can. Anyway, considering you do not have experience in this, you seemed to help me quite a lot, I will take what you said into account, thank you for replying and have a nice day ! :shakehand:
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(Original post by Tryingtobehappy)
Hello C.Shell, thank you for replying ! This sounds like a good idea basically lowering the hours I go to sleep gradually until I get to a good sleep time. I also came up of another idea, where I could just have one bad day of sleep, like for example I wake up at 7:00pm, stay up the whole night and whole day and go to sleep at about 8:00pm so basically stay awake for 24 hours and wake up early the next day, it will be an absolute torture for that day for me but it can work.I am determined to get a good sleeping pattern but to expand on what I said on the thread, I only really wake up when there is something really important like a lecture or seminar so for example, I said that I have really late lectures so one day I have a lecture at 4:00pm but instead of waking up a few hours early to relax and prepare, I wake up at 3:00pm and get ready and go straight to the lecture and then I go back to my flat straight after. This basically means that I only leave my flat when there are classes otherwise I stay in my flat. I know I should be going out and making friends during my free time but I have been struggling so I have just given up and just stayed in my flat. It's funny because a few months ago, I was in my last year of college and for 5 days a week, I woke up at 7:00am to catch the bus for college and I would finish my day at 3:00pm, now I am starting most of my days/nights at 7:00pm, things have gradually changed over a few months.

Also you are a GCSE student so good luck with your exams in the summer ! I know it seems hard now but trust me university is much harder and in my experience I think GCSE and A-Level is enough qualifications if you want my opinion, university is not a good choice. I am already finidng university difficult and am already thinking of dropping out but maybe you could be different. I would recommend just working or getting a good apprenticeship. Unless it depends on what you are doing then you may need to go to university. Only go to university if you are mentally equipped for the situation and I mean 100%, if you are anything below that, you will struggle a lot like me. So you may be feeling good at GCSE level now but if you start to feel down in college then you know university will not be for you, this is what happened to me where I was ok during GCSE level but near the end of year 11, I started to get really depressed and hate the work but then I thought I gave college a chance, this made me feel worse but then I thought university would make me feel better but then guess what ? It got even worse so do not risk it if you do not feel like it, now I have to be at university for 4 years. I do not really know what kind of person you are so if you like parties and you are a very confident person and extroverted and very good at making friends then you will make a lot of friends who can help you out in your studies and you can work with them in the library and have fun with them. If you are like me then you may struggle because so far after a month, I have not found anyone worth talking to.

I am not trying to scare you, hopefully I did not, are you already thinking about going to university ? Or is it too early for you to decide yet ? If you need any help with university let me know or maybe write a thread about it and I will try and help you as best I can. Anyway, considering you do not have experience in this, you seemed to help me quite a lot, I will take what you said into account, thank you for replying and have a nice day ! :shakehand:
That's the way I always have to do it.
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Tryingtobehappy
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(Original post by Blackstarr)
I am in the same position. Depression at university is real
Man tell me about it, sometimes I feel like no-one really cares enough about people like us, lecturers expect you to push on like there is no tomorrow, the parents feel like we are complaining and understand nothing we are going through because they have not been through what we are going through themselves and then when I tell other students how I am feeling, they get angry and offended for some bizarre reason and I am like do you not feel the same way ? It is like they want me to respect the system because I chose to be here, o be honest I am only here because of my parents if I did not go, they would have gotten so angry at me, I would not know how to deal with it.I'm like I am not respecting a system that causes many people to be depressed and maybe depressed for the rest of their lives. I feel like I am the only depressed person in this university, I feel like I do not belong, that is when you know university is not for you. I know there are other depressed people in this university but they all seem to hiding and in disguise. Sorry I made things a bit deep Blackstarr and I hope you are doing fine and managing depression better than me.
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c.shell
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(Original post by Tryingtobehappy)
Hello C.Shell, thank you for replying ! This sounds like a good idea basically lowering the hours I go to sleep gradually until I get to a good sleep time. I also came up of another idea, where I could just have one bad day of sleep, like for example I wake up at 7:00pm, stay up the whole night and whole day and go to sleep at about 8:00pm so basically stay awake for 24 hours and wake up early the next day, it will be an absolute torture for that day for me but it can work.I am determined to get a good sleeping pattern but to expand on what I said on the thread, I only really wake up when there is something really important like a lecture or seminar so for example, I said that I have really late lectures so one day I have a lecture at 4:00pm but instead of waking up a few hours early to relax and prepare, I wake up at 3:00pm and get ready and go straight to the lecture and then I go back to my flat straight after. This basically means that I only leave my flat when there are classes otherwise I stay in my flat. I know I should be going out and making friends during my free time but I have been struggling so I have just given up and just stayed in my flat. It's funny because a few months ago, I was in my last year of college and for 5 days a week, I woke up at 7:00am to catch the bus for college and I would finish my day at 3:00pm, now I am starting most of my days/nights at 7:00pm, things have gradually changed over a few months.

Also you are a GCSE student so good luck with your exams in the summer ! I know it seems hard now but trust me university is much harder and in my experience I think GCSE and A-Level is enough qualifications if you want my opinion, university is not a good choice. I am already finidng university difficult and am already thinking of dropping out but maybe you could be different. I would recommend just working or getting a good apprenticeship. Unless it depends on what you are doing then you may need to go to university. Only go to university if you are mentally equipped for the situation and I mean 100%, if you are anything below that, you will struggle a lot like me. So you may be feeling good at GCSE level now but if you start to feel down in college then you know university will not be for you, this is what happened to me where I was ok during GCSE level but near the end of year 11, I started to get really depressed and hate the work but then I thought I gave college a chance, this made me feel worse but then I thought university would make me feel better but then guess what ? It got even worse so do not risk it if you do not feel like it, now I have to be at university for 4 years. I do not really know what kind of person you are so if you like parties and you are a very confident person and extroverted and very good at making friends then you will make a lot of friends who can help you out in your studies and you can work with them in the library and have fun with them. If you are like me then you may struggle because so far after a month, I have not found anyone worth talking to.

I am not trying to scare you, hopefully I did not, are you already thinking about going to university ? Or is it too early for you to decide yet ? If you need any help with university let me know or maybe write a thread about it and I will try and help you as best I can. Anyway, considering you do not have experience in this, you seemed to help me quite a lot, I will take what you said into account, thank you for replying and have a nice day ! :shakehand:
Hello! Whichever way you choose, I hope it works out for you! I actually really enjoy studying and I'm not really looking forward to having to get a job in the real world at some point, so I think I'll probably go to uni. I'm looking forward to sixth form and being able to work more idependently, especially as I have a pretty overbearing mother so I think I'll be quite happy to leave home when I'm 18! Thank you for the advice though and I'll definitely look into other options too and make sure that I'm prepared for life at uni before I go. I'm not super extroverted but I wouldn't call myself introverted either, I'm somewhere in the middle. I usually don't find it too hard to make friends, especially with more "nerdy" people like me, so hopefully I'll be ok on that front. Thank you for your advice and good luck!
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Tryingtobehappy
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(Original post by Qualms&Facepalms)
Oversleeping can be detrimental to your health. It will take some time to establish your sleep routine, especially your circadian cycle, try excercising in the day to help. I recommend watching ted talks on sleep. Hope this helps!
Thank you for the reply Qualms and Facepalms. I hope you are doing well and having a nice day ! :^_^: I understand your comment but I was thinking maybe what I am doing is not so bad but maybe I should only do it during my days off so Thursday,Friday,Saturday,Sunday and Monday and maybe instead of having over 12 hours of sleep in the day, maybe I should just have 10-12 hours of sleep a day and still wake up in the night and I will just turn into a owl. I would also change instead of watching movies and TV shows in my free time, I do a lot of coursework and just find a way to motivate myself to do it because even though I sleep in the day and wake up in the night, I still have lots of energy in the night, where people don't. It is also more peaceful and quiet in the night surprisingly, where I am staying, yes there are occasional parties but in the day there is more noise because people are walking around outside. The only sad thing though is that I can not make friends if I stay up in the night and sleep in the day but oh well, I think I can deal with this, I have dealt with it before. I am also still getting work done by doing this method. Also I love watching TED Talks ! I recently watched this video about sleep before I wrote this thread. The video was called Sleep is your superpower by Matt Walker and he said it has actually really beneficial sleeping 12 hours a day and huge sportsmen like tennis player Roger Federer does this and that it can enhance your brain performance. I will also watch some more TED Talks as there should be more on the way and they are hugely interesting ! Thank you for your help Qualms and Facepalms and I hope you have a wonderful day ! :shakehand:
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Tryingtobehappy
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(Original post by AzureCeleste)
I would just try and force yourself to go to bed at the right time. So when you 'wake up' at 9pm in the evening, basically go to bed and even though you aren't tired stay there all night. Have an alarm for the morning and force yourself to stay awake during the day and eat proper meals at breakfast lunch and dinner.
This should fix your sleeping routine (It's a bit like what you'd do if you change time zone)
Thank you AzureCeleste for replying, I hope you are well and having an amazing day ! Just like the others, this is also a great idea ! So even if I wake up like you said and force myself to go to bed at the right time, I can just go on my phone and this can help me sleep or just try to sleep. The only problem is about the second part of your comment about eating the right meals. This sounds good but the problem is I share a kitchen with my flatmates and I do not get along with my flatmates, it is a long story and they are usually in there quite a lot. Also the kitchen is very messy leading me unable to cook but I will stay strong and try this idea out. Thank you AzureCeleste for replying, if there is any problems I can help you with, let me know ! Have a nice day ! :shakehand:
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AzureCeleste
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(Original post by Tryingtobehappy)
Thank you AzureCeleste for replying, I hope you are well and having an amazing day ! Just like the others, this is also a great idea ! So even if I wake up like you said and force myself to go to bed at the right time, I can just go on my phone and this can help me sleep or just try to sleep. The only problem is about the second part of your comment about eating the right meals. This sounds good but the problem is I share a kitchen with my flatmates and I do not get along with my flatmates, it is a long story and they are usually in there quite a lot. Also the kitchen is very messy leading me unable to cook but I will stay strong and try this idea out. Thank you AzureCeleste for replying, if there is any problems I can help you with, let me know ! Have a nice day ! :shakehand:
Don't go on your phone when you are meant to be sleeping- it won't help your situation. Keep it away from you
If you are in uni accomodation then speak to a warden or RA regarding the kitchen situation and getting flatmates to clean it
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Blackstarr
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Honestly I feel the same and I could not have put it better run you already have.

Depression Is real and at the moment I am trying to figurine it out in terms of getting help etc

(Original post by Tryingtobehappy)
Man tell me about it, sometimes I feel like no-one really cares enough about people like us, lecturers expect you to push on like there is no tomorrow, the parents feel like we are complaining and understand nothing we are going through because they have not been through what we are going through themselves and then when I tell other students how I am feeling, they get angry and offended for some bizarre reason and I am like do you not feel the same way ? It is like they want me to respect the system because I chose to be here, o be honest I am only here because of my parents if I did not go, they would have gotten so angry at me, I would not know how to deal with it.I'm like I am not respecting a system that causes many people to be depressed and maybe depressed for the rest of their lives. I feel like I am the only depressed person in this university, I feel like I do not belong, that is when you know university is not for you. I know there are other depressed people in this university but they all seem to hiding and in disguise. Sorry I made things a bit deep Blackstarr and I hope you are doing fine and managing depression better than me.
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