My life isn't going well Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
I've been feeling really down for a while. I'm 23 and I finished uni a year ago. Since then I haven't achieved anything. All I've done is work in a clothes shop and a bit of part time modelling. I'm finding it hard to find a graduate job because I didn't get a 2:1. I made a few really close friends at uni but they live in other parts of the country now. My friends near me who I've known for ages are nice but I can't relate to them anymore. I still see them regularly but I don't enjoy it. They're all into drugs and don't seem keen on doing anything with their lives, while I really want to get a good job. I hardly ever get to see the friends I have a lot in common with because they live far away. Also I really want a boyfriend and no one shows interest in me. I've never been in a proper relationship, but at uni at leat i got occasional interest from guys. It just seems like nothings going to change.
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makeshiftwings
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#2
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At university it's a lot easier to meet people because of the environment...methinks you need a change. Perhaps move in with one of your friends? Or take up a nice hotel job with accommodation and live on the never-never. See what you can do. You have ultimate freedom.
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thanette
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Could you move somewhere with better job opportunities?
You could decide on the career you want to get into and a) get some experience or a job related to it b) complete a course (yes, more education if you would consider this) to widen/improve your overall prospects (nearly all my friends, including me, have done a postgrad to get to a decent job, very common)

Friendswise...part time bar job, volunteering, part-time college course, some sort of activity club?
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thanette
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Oh, and men...get yourself on the social scene as much as poss-but remember it happens when it happens-meeting the right person for you will come about eventually-nowt you can do about it as you can't predict when you will click with someone you meet. All you can do is ensure you have opportunities to meet new people.
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DeSiFiEd
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#5
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you can make the change yourself, its amazing what a little bit of persistence can do to change your life around.

What kind of career/job are you looking to pursue? Particularly if your wanting to do something coroporate/in the business world I'd suggest approaching a few temp'ing agencies, some of the people I've worked with (at a multinational company) were only originally meant to work there for a week...but now have a full-time job! Its all about impact!

Relationships...I'm 19 and have always been single (not ANY type of relationship :\ lol how sad), I should be the one on a downer! That's just chance, if you want something meaningful..you can wait can't you? You seem pretty aspiring with interest in her future; I find that quite attractive!

Chin up, and hugs.
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libertine861
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been feeling really down for a while. I'm 23 and I finished uni a year ago. Since then I haven't achieved anything. All I've done is work in a clothes shop and a bit of part time modelling. I'm finding it hard to find a graduate job because I didn't get a 2:1. I made a few really close friends at uni but they live in other parts of the country now. My friends near me who I've known for ages are nice but I can't relate to them anymore. I still see them regularly but I don't enjoy it. They're all into drugs and don't seem keen on doing anything with their lives, while I really want to get a good job. I hardly ever get to see the friends I have a lot in common with because they live far away. Also I really want a boyfriend and no one shows interest in me. I've never been in a proper relationship, but at uni at leat i got occasional interest from guys. It just seems like nothings going to change.
What degree classification did you get? and in what degree? It's hard to give advice in that context, without further information, but consider applying for a less well paid Job which might be easier to obtain than say one, were you are competing against more people with 2.1s and above. Then once you have got a bit of work experience under your belt or perhaps some post-graduate qualifcations, you can move on to better paid positions/companies.

If you have done part time modelling, I'm sure there are plenty of people who are interested in you but you probably don't recognise the signs for whatever reason. Perhaps it's because you are feeling down and if you give off any negative vibes, then that is always going to put potential partners off as they might interpret it as being a signal that you aren't interested. I'm sure once your confidence grows and you release a more positive aura, you will start to attract people into your life.

The root of your problem seems to be the fact that you aren't in the Job that you want. You need to work out what you need to do to get into that Job and to work out why your Job hunting hasn't been going according to plan. Perhaps your CV needs changing or your interview technique. If it is down to your degree classifcation, then perhaps apply for a less well paid Job or work on getting some extra curriculars/work experience to bolster your CV and make up for the fact that you don't have a 2.1. There are plenty of people who achieve success with degrees that aren't of a 2.1 standard. Even if there aren't in your particular line of work (but I'm sure there will be), why not make history and be the exception to the rule? It's a bit of a cliche but where there is a will, there is always a way.
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Anonymous #1
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If you have done part time modelling, I'm sure there are plenty of people who are interested in you but you probably don't recognise the signs for whatever reason. Perhaps it's because you are feeling down and if you give off any negative vibes, then that is always going to put potential partners off as they might interpret it as being a signal that you aren't interested. I'm sure once your confidence grows and you release a more positive aura, you will start to attract people into your life.
It doesn't seem like anyone is interested in me or ever will be. I don't think I seem negative, but I may seem unconfident. But because no one shows interest, my confident can't grow.
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thanette
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Remember, any education is something to be proud, of especially a degree; not everyone has one! A 2.2 isn't awful either.
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afc1886
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#9
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your friends are all doing drugs and you an't relate to them? Thats a good thing, it means you're mature enough to see your life objectively and know that isnt the right thing to do. Jobs and social aspects of life come and go, keep plugging away at it and something will come up, make sure your looking for new jobs if thats what you want and after that you will meet new people, go out more and things will sort themselves out. Dont worry about it as in 10 years time you wont remember the night you sat here and posted this, hope you feel better soon x
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libertine861
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It doesn't seem like anyone is interested in me or ever will be. I don't think I seem negative, but I may seem unconfident. But because no one shows interest, my confident can't grow.
It sounds negative to me if you think no one will ever be interested in you. Why wouldn't they? you're good looking and intelligent and seem like a sincere person from your posts. You can't wait for people to show interest for your confidence to grow, that hands all your power over to other people and you could spend a lifetime waiting for that person to show interest. You are the only person responsible for your confidence. People can do things to help you have confidence but ultimately it is in your hands.

You need to make changes to your current lifestyle in a variety of ways. 'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.' You need to change if you want your life to improve, something obviously isn't working because you aren't in the Job that you want to be in and you don't have a partner. You need to work out why that is. I would suggest seeking some careers advice/guidance on your CV/Interview/Job-hunting skills or research the career that you want to be in and find out what it takes to make it.

As for relationships, if you want to be in one, assuming there is no one of interest within your current social circle, you need to be meeting new people. You could do this in any number of ways, joining a club, going night college, volunteering, joining a sports team; the possibilites are endless. There is so much opportunity out there, you just need to grasp it. It won't be easy and you will probably feel uncomfortable at first but that's the price you have to pay if you really want to change your life. If you don't, then that's fine too but don't be surprised when you find yourself in the same position you are in now, ten years down the line. The choice is yours.
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Emmska
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#11
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babe if you've done modelling maybe guys think you wont be interested in them.
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Sickminded
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#12
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I dont have much in common with my old friends, i dont even really communicate with them much anymore..
sometimes I think my education alienated my mind and moved me to levels that are uninteresting to the averrrrage bear?

about dating, itll happen when it happens.... ive met lovely ladies in the most peculiar ways ...
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Desperate Prayer
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been feeling really down for a while. I'm 23 and I finished uni a year ago. Since then I haven't achieved anything. All I've done is work in a clothes shop and a bit of part time modelling. I'm finding it hard to find a graduate job because I didn't get a 2:1. I made a few really close friends at uni but they live in other parts of the country now. My friends near me who I've known for ages are nice but I can't relate to them anymore. I still see them regularly but I don't enjoy it. They're all into drugs and don't seem keen on doing anything with their lives, while I really want to get a good job. I hardly ever get to see the friends I have a lot in common with because they live far away. Also I really want a boyfriend and no one shows interest in me. I've never been in a proper relationship, but at uni at leat i got occasional interest from guys. It just seems like nothings going to change.

You have your heart in the right place, and are determined to stay out of bad circles - that in itself is a great position to start from. As others have said, it is amazingly easy to find someone at uni, if you should so choose - away from it doesnt really compare, unless your quite socially mobile.
Keep in contact with your good friends - even if they are distant. The occasional phone call, message or even meetup can be amazing for this.
Things will change, but they cannot and will not change unless you decide where you want to go! You have to decide on a course, and navigate your way there as best you can. I suggest you take some time to think about what you really want, and how you are going to get it. Do what needs doing - dont be afraid of change.

Self-confidence will come to you when you are happy with your lifes direction. I find that, even when I havent quite achieved what Im setting out to accomplish, I feel great knowing im making progress towards it.
The happiest people I know are content with their lives, and where they are headed. You will never meet a truly happy person who is not.

I wish you the best of luck!
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