The Student Room Group

Feeling lonely at Uni

I'm in my second year of uni and I'm living away from home. I moved in with 2 people from my flay last year along with 2 other who one of my flat mates knew. we all moved in together and I failed one of my essays and I'm having to re do it again, so I've been stressed about that. I find it difficult to talk to new people as well. So we moved in to the flat in September nd everything was fine but I've now started to notice that the four others I live with leave me out of things whether it be going out for walks at night or chumming each other to the shops or even tagging each other on faceebok posts. I know I shouldn't let this affect me but it has, they basically leave me out of everything they do, It's making me feel like I'm alone at university.

I found it hard to make a lot of friends in first year due to dealing with personal issues at home. I just feel so alone now, It's making me question if I'm still enjoying university. I love the course and enjoy it but I'm feeling lonely and left out by my flat mates which is making me question if I truly do enjoy university or not.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm in my second year of uni and I'm living away from home. I moved in with 2 people from my flay last year along with 2 other who one of my flat mates knew. we all moved in together and I failed one of my essays and I'm having to re do it again, so I've been stressed about that. I find it difficult to talk to new people as well. So we moved in to the flat in September nd everything was fine but I've now started to notice that the four others I live with leave me out of things whether it be going out for walks at night or chumming each other to the shops or even tagging each other on faceebok posts. I know I shouldn't let this affect me but it has, they basically leave me out of everything they do, It's making me feel like I'm alone at university.

I found it hard to make a lot of friends in first year due to dealing with personal issues at home. I just feel so alone now, It's making me question if I'm still enjoying university. I love the course and enjoy it but I'm feeling lonely and left out by my flat mates which is making me question if I truly do enjoy university or not.

Definitely speak to your flatmates and let them know how you feel. It may just be that they're doing things without you because they've got a vibe that you're maybe not interested or they think you don't want to be disturbed. Reach out to them and explain and i'm sure they'll involve you more.
Why not suggest all cooking a meal together or watching a film, if they see you making an effort they're bound to react positively.

You can also make friends outside of your home. Initiate conversation with people on your course or join a club/society that interests you. Having that common ground with people makes general interaction a lot easier. Also check in with your SU, many student unions hold icebreaker events this time of year that are worth checking out.
The fact that you love your course is reason enough to stick your course out. Utilise all the support and services available to you and the right people will come along in no time.
Reply 2
Original post by UniversityOfSunderland
Definitely speak to your flatmates and let them know how you feel. It may just be that they're doing things without you because they've got a vibe that you're maybe not interested or they think you don't want to be disturbed. Reach out to them and explain and i'm sure they'll involve you more.
Why not suggest all cooking a meal together or watching a film, if they see you making an effort they're bound to react positively.

You can also make friends outside of your home. Initiate conversation with people on your course or join a club/society that interests you. Having that common ground with people makes general interaction a lot easier. Also check in with your SU, many student unions hold icebreaker events this time of year that are worth checking out.
The fact that you love your course is reason enough to stick your course out. Utilise all the support and services available to you and the right people will come along in no time.

I have tried to explain to them what I ma. feeling but nothing changed. We have watched things together and we were all going to cook together but that changed and did not happen. I have tried my best to engage with them especially since I've been stressed out. I have tried joining societies. but with my type of course (Nursing) it is hard to join a society when your on placement most of the time or most of them are sports which I am not into at all. I have connected with people on my course of stuff we have in common but because nobody I knew and made friends with from first year are in any of my classes tis year as we are field specific I had to talk to new people and make friends with them which I did not mind. Most of my friends I have made from my course all live it home and quite far from the uni, so it is so hard to meet up and find time to get together.

I Understand that my course is reason enough to stick with it but it's just so hard when you are on your own and with your own thoughts and can see the rest of your flat mates out and having fun together without seeing if you wanted to go.
Original post by Anonymous
I have tried to explain to them what I ma. feeling but nothing changed. We have watched things together and we were all going to cook together but that changed and did not happen. I have tried my best to engage with them especially since I've been stressed out. I have tried joining societies. but with my type of course (Nursing) it is hard to join a society when your on placement most of the time or most of them are sports which I am not into at all. I have connected with people on my course of stuff we have in common but because nobody I knew and made friends with from first year are in any of my classes tis year as we are field specific I had to talk to new people and make friends with them which I did not mind. Most of my friends I have made from my course all live it home and quite far from the uni, so it is so hard to meet up and find time to get together.

I Understand that my course is reason enough to stick with it but it's just so hard when you are on your own and with your own thoughts and can see the rest of your flat mates out and having fun together without seeing if you wanted to go.

Hello! I'm sorry to jump on your post but I just thought you needed a little reassurance in knowing you are not the only one that feels like this! I am also studying Nursing (Adult). 5 days after starting the first year of my degree, I found out that I was expecting a baby! I stayed in university until I was 31 weeks pregnant and then took a maternity leave of absence in March 2018. This meant that I was to recommence my studies in March 2019, which I did! The only problem was that it meant I was entering into a whole new year group, halfway through the year, so I didn't know anybody and everyone had already made their own clicks and friendship groups so I found it very hard to fit in and also felt lonely! I found that what helped me was keeping busy. I would get all my work done as soon as it was set, arrange weekends where I could see my family and friends from back home, keep in touch with my old friends from the year I left.

Have you tried getting a job maybe? I know this is harder said than done when studying nursing but I became an Ambassador for the university which is great as I am able to choose my own availability. It fits in with my course like a dream and I've made lots of friends from doing it to! We also hold award nights which is another social event you would be able to attend maybe?

I don't think you should give up on your flatmates. Join in where you can and when you can and be honest with them :smile:

I don't know if I have helped at all, I just wanted to try and offer a bit of advice! If you need anything else, just ask :smile:
Reply 4
Original post by Keele Student Ambassador
Hello! I'm sorry to jump on your post but I just thought you needed a little reassurance in knowing you are not the only one that feels like this! I am also studying Nursing (Adult). 5 days after starting the first year of my degree, I found out that I was expecting a baby! I stayed in university until I was 31 weeks pregnant and then took a maternity leave of absence in March 2018. This meant that I was to recommence my studies in March 2019, which I did! The only problem was that it meant I was entering into a whole new year group, halfway through the year, so I didn't know anybody and everyone had already made their own clicks and friendship groups so I found it very hard to fit in and also felt lonely! I found that what helped me was keeping busy. I would get all my work done as soon as it was set, arrange weekends where I could see my family and friends from back home, keep in touch with my old friends from the year I left.

Have you tried getting a job maybe? I know this is harder said than done when studying nursing but I became an Ambassador for the university which is great as I am able to choose my own availability. It fits in with my course like a dream and I've made lots of friends from doing it to! We also hold award nights which is another social event you would be able to attend maybe?

I don't think you should give up on your flatmates. Join in where you can and when you can and be honest with them :smile:

I don't know if I have helped at all, I just wanted to try and offer a bit of advice! If you need anything else, just ask :smile:

I would love to have a job while studying nursing but it is so hard to fund a job around our suitability and I even tried to join the bank but they unfortunaltley said they don't take children nurses. I would love to be able to go home nearly every week but it's so hard when you can't afford to do it financially. I try to meet up with friend from home and on my course but it is so har because when one of us is free the other isn't which is quite hard. I haven't tried with eh uni but I might. I haven't completely given up on my flat mates, I still have hope but it just just not a lot anymore.
Original post by Anonymous
I would love to have a job while studying nursing but it is so hard to fund a job around our suitability and I even tried to join the bank but they unfortunaltley said they don't take children nurses. I would love to be able to go home nearly every week but it's so hard when you can't afford to do it financially. I try to meet up with friend from home and on my course but it is so har because when one of us is free the other isn't which is quite hard. I haven't tried with eh uni but I might. I haven't completely given up on my flat mates, I still have hope but it just just not a lot anymore.

Maybe one with a zero hour contract might be doable? That way you’re not required to work if you can’t! Are your family able to take trips to you? Can you video call home? I understand how hard it can be, it’s not easy. Especially with nursing which is such a busy schedule! Please don’t give up on them, you may just find that things start to work out soon!
Reply 6
Original post by Keele Student Ambassador
Maybe one with a zero hour contract might be doable? That way you’re not required to work if you can’t! Are your family able to take trips to you? Can you video call home? I understand how hard it can be, it’s not easy. Especially with nursing which is such a busy schedule! Please don’t give up on them, you may just find that things start to work out soon!

I'm gonna try and look for a job such as a zero hour contract It will help to keep me busy and not think about them, I'm currently looking into it to see if tht would be doable. My family take trips regularly to visit and I call home all the time. I have started to give up on them.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm gonna try and look for a job such as a zero hour contract It will help to keep me busy and not think about them, I'm currently looking into it to see if tht would be doable. My family take trips regularly to visit and I call home all the time. I have started to give up on them.

I think that would be a great idea, you’ll make friends through work to!

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