He doesnt see whats wrong ! Watch

xtinkerbellx
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Hi, well on wedsnesday i went out with my bf and his mates for a night out. One of them is a bit sexist and sarcastic, but i have only met him twice, ye he was picking on me and being rude all night. he was calling me thick, a dip **** , asking why my boyfriend is even with me and telling me i should just leave. he did this all night just being rude to me, and my boyfriend said nothing to him AT ALL. I felt like crying because on top of that, my boyfriend screamed at me in the car a few hours before because i was 20 mins late getting ready and he was listing all my faults whilsts screaming and swearing at me so i said i would go home and we kin of made up but i wasnt happy, then i had to deal with his friend so i was just angry and upset by time we arrived in brighton. ANYWAYYY we are suppose to be going to party next week and i told him in not going because his friend is going to be there, he just said 'ok fine ' he then had the cheek to ask his friend for a lift there. Im upset at the fact he doesnt care that im not even going out with him, usually if i dont want to go ou somewhere he will get upset and would at least care but he doesnt, so we had a talk last night and left it at he will stick up for me and he apologised and everything, yet he still didnt say anything about next week. i told him i was going out with my friend the night hes out and he went funny then logged off msn. im just trying to firgure out if i am overeacting over this ? i really dont know, but i feel upset about it all.
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shadowrow
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what do you expect him to do about next week? i understand that his friend is horrible and it's probably best if you avoid that friend but he is still your boyfriend's mate. He can't ask his mate not to go to the party and since you've said you're going to do something else what else is there he can do?
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xtinkerbellx
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well i do want to go i just maybe wanted him to say that if he speaks to me like sh it next week he tell him to shut up but hes said nothing like that at all. He didnt even acknowledge the fact that i was upset and he had the nerve to tell me to no worry he wont tell his friend that he upset me i mean what the hell ! i dont care about his friend i rarely have to see him because he never bothers with my boyfriend he only uses him when he feels like it, i ont see why i shouldnt go incase hes mean again. why cant my boyfriend just stick up for me, hes done it before when his brothers girlfriend commented nastily on my weight, he said nothing, he never does and im sick of it, he just makes other people hapyp all the time but not me because he thinks ill always be around.
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pandora7
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i'm sorry but your boyfriend's a jerk, and this is even more so relfected by the people he chooses to be around with. it doesn't seem like he's got any redeeming quality either, so why are you still in this relationship? i really don't get this, stick up for yourself. if my bf ever raise his voice at me escpeically over something as trivial as that i would be out of there in a heartbeat. he doesn't get to disrespect me like that.

as for his friend, i'm not entirely convinced why he would start to attack you if unprovoked? maybe you made some comment he didn't like? anyway, he shouldn't have called you names and your boyfriend should've had the decency enough to tell him to quit it. you seem like a nice girl, willing to put the effort in your r'ships. you don't need this kind of crap, especially not from someone who claim to love you. move on is all i can say.
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d0mz
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Firstly, don't be late if you dont want to be shouted at. It's very, very annoying. As far as the friend thing goes, its very difficult to know when to take sides over your mate or your mrs, and its also an extremely uncomfortale situation. The saying goes 'bros before hoes' and thus he doesn't HAVE to chose your side at all, if he doesnt want to. He may have said 'ok fine' to you not going to the party because he just wants to have a night out with his mates, not having to worry about spending time with you all night long, without sounding too harsh. You sound like your over-reacting, you are not the be all and end all of everything he does so just ease off him a bit.
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DoMakeSayThink
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really long sentences with only minimal punctuation and no capitalisation for new sentences makes your posts very hard to read maybe its just because im a bit hungover but i do think that what your writing would be a little more readable if it wasn't like this.

More to the point, your boyfriend doesn't sound like he's being particularly unreasonable to me, and if you're still having issues, then you need to talk to him. Given that he knows/thinks you've got other plans for the night of this party, there's no reason he should be desperately trying to convince you to come.
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d0mz
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(Original post by pandora7)
i'm sorry but your boyfriend's a jerk, and this is even more so relfected by the people he chooses to be around with. it doesn't seem like he's got any redeeming quality either
You don't even know the kid, how can you say he doesnt have any 'redeeming quality'? With regards to the rest of your post, you sound like you'd be the worst mrs ever. If your late, expect me to be pissed off. If you dont want me to be pissed off, don't be late. Being pissed off is not disrespectful, wasting 20 mins of my time waiting for my mrs getting ready is disrespectful.
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Tyrannosaurus Cal
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(Original post by d0mz)
You don't even know the kid, how can you say he doesnt have any 'redeeming quality'? With regards to the rest of your post, you sound like you'd be the worst mrs ever. If your late, expect me to be pissed off. If you dont want me to be pissed off, don't be late. Being pissed off is not disrespectful, wasting 20 mins of my time waiting for my mrs getting read is disrespectful.
Are you always punctual?

And do you always treat a girlfriend like a petulant child? Scolding your girlfriend seems a little odd to me.
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pandora7
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(Original post by d0mz)
You don't even know the kid, how can you say he doesnt have any 'redeeming quality'? With regards to the rest of your post, you sound like you'd be the worst mrs ever. If your late, expect me to be pissed off. If you dont want me to be pissed off, don't be late. Being pissed off is not disrespectful, wasting 20 mins of my time waiting for my mrs getting read is disrespectful.
obviously i'm only speaking from what i can tell of the op's post. he yells at her for something as trivial as punctuality, doesn't stick up for her. doesn't sound quite like a catch to me.
screaming and swearing for being late? well **** me, i hate to think what he would've done if the op were to burn his dinner! :rolleyes:
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d0mz
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(Original post by Tyrannosaurus Cal)
Are you always punctual?

And do you always treat a girlfriend like a petulant child? Scolding your girlfriend seems a little odd to me.
I'm always early, actually.
BTW, you arent scoring any cool points for standing up for girls in this thread, so drop the act.
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wanderlust.xx
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Doesn't sound like he's right for you.

Dump?
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xtinkerbellx
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i never said i want his life to revolve around me, im always telling him to do stuff without me then he shouts at me saying i dont care and i cant ever be bothered. and since WHEN was taking 20 mins extra to get ready a crime, i have waited HOUR AND HALF for him to pick me up from somewhere because he FORGOT. so dont give me that ****. sorry for expecting my own boyfriend of 2 years to stick up for me i didnt know that was expecting a lot considering ive done the same for him.
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Tyrannosaurus Cal
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(Original post by d0mz)
I'm always early, actually.
BTW, you arent scoring any cool points for standing up for girls in this thread, so drop the act.
Act? I don't care what cool points I get.

You seem to me to think that a relationship is all for you and nobody else, and even if you were a girl, I'd still be calling you a misogynist who thinks they're better than their partner.

Also, Bro's before hoes doesn't always work when your bro's are bullying your girlfriend to the point of tears. Just because you'd say she was a "hoe" doesn't mean you can't have the balls to defend someone you supposedly care about. Oh, but she was late, so obviously you have a good reason to chastise her. Maybe make her stand in the corner.
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d0mz
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(Original post by xtinkerbellx)
i never said i want his life to revolve around me, im always telling him to do stuff without me then he shouts at me saying i dont care and i cant ever be bothered. and since WHEN was taking 20 mins extra to get ready a crime, i have waited HOUR AND HALF for him to pick me up from somewhere because he FORGOT. so dont give me that ****. sorry for expecting my own boyfriend of 2 years to stick up for me i didnt know that was expecting a lot considering ive done the same for him.
Did you mention that in the OP? No you didn't, so don't expect me to know.
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wanderlust.xx
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(Original post by xtinkerbellx)
i never said i want his life to revolve around me, im always telling him to do stuff without me then he shouts at me saying i dont care and i cant ever be bothered. and since WHEN was taking 20 mins extra to get ready a crime, i have waited HOUR AND HALF for him to pick me up from somewhere because he FORGOT. so dont give me that ****. sorry for expecting my own boyfriend of 2 years to stick up for me i didnt know that was expecting a lot considering ive done the same for him.
One word: Dump.
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RightSaidJames
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(Original post by d0mz)
I'm always early, actually.
BTW, you arent scoring any cool points for standing up for girls in this thread, so drop the act.
Mate, have you time travelled from the 1950s or something? Get off your misogynistic high horse.
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d0mz
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(Original post by Tyrannosaurus Cal)
Act? I don't care what cool points I get.

You seem to me to think that a relationship is all for you and nobody else, and if you were a girl, I'd still be calling you a misogynist who thinks they're better than their partner.

Also, Bro's before hoes doesn't always work when your bro's are bullying your girlfriend to the point of tears. Just because you'd say she was a "hoe" doesn't mean you can't have the balls to defend someone you supposedly care about. Oh, but she was late, so obviously you have a good reason to chastise her. Maybe make her stand in the corner.
Firstly, I don't think I'm better than any partners I'm ever with. I believe in equality between partners, whats right for one person is right for the other. I just said I don't think he HAS to stick up for her infront of his mates, because then he is taking sides. It's obviously a really uncomfortable situation for him, he doesn't want to be ditched by his mates or his mrs, so it's better for him to just say nothing and just go on about his business. If my mrs is late by 20mins and I'm waiting for her, I'm going to be pissed off, its as simple as that. If I was late by 20mins then she would be pissed off, its all equally relative.
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SarahhhD
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1) Your BF is a Jerk, Not telling his friend to eff off when he's calling you stupid is unfair.
2)Yes, spending 20 minuites longer getting ready is unreasnoble, but he shouldn't insult you because of it.
3) Yes, he should stick up for you, if you want to go to the party and his friend starts just slap his friend. You'll find out where his loyalties are atleast.
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d0mz
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(Original post by SarahhhD)
3) Yes, he should stick up for you, if you want to go to the party and his friend starts just slap his friend. You'll find out where his loyalties are atleast.
..now were encouraging violence towards his friend?
If he were to smack one of her friends for calling him stupid, is that acceptable..?
My point is that relationships aren't equal, women get away with alot more then men do, and thats simple face.
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Yasmin2K8
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He seems awful and a right little man if he cant/doesnt stick up for you or help stand your ground. If his mate/s are picking and insulting you for no apparent reason then unfortunately he is choosing them over you which is understandable 'bro's before hoes' and all that but if you havent done anything wrong and he isnt helping you or intervening at all then thats just not right - I dont think he appreciates you enough if at all. Suggest you go find a real man who looks after his lady. Thats just based on what I have read and he may have different qualities in other areas etc.
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