is my girlfriend manipulative?

how she is such a failure and doesn't do well. She says she's fat and she's skinny, says she has an eating disorder

Ok so my new girlfriend is really nice, fun outgoing yada yada

At parties before I knew her she always seems insanely happy, getting off with boys and enjoying herself.

Since I've got with her though and I'm on her private story I see she does a lot of crying and moaning. She goes to a top private school and has top grades, yet writes me paragraphs how she is such a failure and doesn't do well. She says she's fat and she's skinny, says she has an eating disorder etc.

She seems like a confident go getter then to me she'll tell me how awful her parents are to her and sometimes even her friends. I don't know what to make of the contrasts, is she depressed or is she happy and social and just likes attention and sympathy from me and others?

Ok so my new girlfriend is really nice, fun outgoing yada yada

At parties before I knew her she always seems insanely happy, getting off with boys and enjoying herself.

Since I've got with her though and I'm on her private story I see she does a lot of crying and moaning. She goes to a top private school and has top grades, yet writes me paragraphs how she is such a failure and doesn't do well. She says she's fat and she's skinny, says she has an eating disorder etc.

She seems like a confident go getter then to me she'll tell me how awful her parents are to her and sometimes even her friends. I don't know what to make of the contrasts, is she depressed or is she happy and social and just likes attention and sympathy from me and others?

Some people are very good at putting on a show, by repressing how they really feel.

If she is opening up to her, I'd go with it and help her, rather than make assumptions about her being manipulative.

For a while, at least.

sometimes depressed people act really happy on the outside that’s why it’s so dangerous because they don’t want people to know especially not people they dont know well - she may just have started opening up to you because your closer now - the wanting attention could be part of that people only seek attention because they arnt happy with something in themselves - if your dating maybe talk to her about it - why she acts so happy on the outside and then is constantly complaing to you - a relationship can only work if your open - a lot of things over confidence is just a mask very few people are 100% confident all the time and so people who seem like they are on the outside often arn’t.

Sounds like you only saw the side of her she wants people to see. Now you're closer she's willing to show you the things that scare her or make her insecure.

I dont think there is a reason why she would do that to you. I think she trusts you enough to open up to you. I think you should engage with her and be there for her. If it gets too much, then maybe have the conversation.

No its cool, I get it, she wants my attention and sympathy so yeah I will just carry on giving it.

Since I've got with her though and I'm on her private story I see she does a lot of crying and moaning. She goes to a top private school and has top grades, yet writes me paragraphs how she is such a failure and doesn't do well. She says she's fat and she's skinny, says she has an eating disorder etc.

She seems like a confident go getter then to me she'll tell me how awful her parents are to her and sometimes even her friends. I don't know what to make of the contrasts, is she depressed or is she happy and social and just likes attention and sympathy from me and others?

Ok so my new girlfriend is really nice, fun outgoing yada yada

At parties before I knew her she always seems insanely happy, getting off with boys and enjoying herself.

Since I've got with her though and I'm on her private story I see she does a lot of crying and moaning. She goes to a top private school and has top grades, yet writes me paragraphs how she is such a failure and doesn't do well. She says she's fat and she's skinny, says she has an eating disorder etc.

She seems like a confident go getter then to me she'll tell me how awful her parents are to her and sometimes even her friends. I don't know what to make of the contrasts, is she depressed or is she happy and social and just likes attention and sympathy from me and others?

Ugh, she sounds like a classic angsty, moody Teenage Girl Who Hates Her Mother. Does she have a hydroflask?



Attention seeking, probably.