My University life has been a disaster Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Hey, I know some people here so this must remain anonymous.

Ever since GCSE I was excited at the prospect of attending university and I worked extremely hard since then to get into a good university. As I became an A student I applied for the top universities and managed to get offers from which I accepted one of them ( a top 5 uni). My teachers made me so exicted about it, they told me how it easy uni life is and how I will have the best time of my life. I also thought it would be perfect for me.

However, my first year in university has been a complete disaster for me. I 've barely made friends or become part of any group (although I met so many people). I hadn't been able to concetrate in lectures, I've barely attended my tutorials and fell into a deep depressions. I was even planning to drop out of universities and started doubted my abilities. Nothing worked for me during that time and I was alone most of the time.

Believe me I tried working things out: I tried to make friends, I tried to concentrate in lectures, I tried waking up in the morning - but things didnt work and I barely passed my first year.

Once things started to get slightly better towards the end of my second year, I was told that I failed to pass the necessary courses to be able to progress to my final year and need to take an extra year to do so. I still haven't told my parents about what happened and apart from failing, its too late to tell them anyways. I want to work things out but they just never seem to. When I told one of my friend from school, he just said that these things happen and that I'm probably overreacting.

Guys, what do you make of this? Is there something wrong with me or is this a normal thing?
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99p And A Flake
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#2
Report 10 years ago
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Is doing your second year again what you want to do? If it is then try to speak to someone from your uni about the best way to go about it. You said things were getting better; can you keep on that track? Try not to worry about telling your parents yet, it might be a horrible thing to have to do but you can do it in your own time.

If you don't want to carry on with uni, what do you want to do next? Is there a career path you want to look into, or a different degree? Having a plan of action might make you feel better than just the unknown.
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chaseside
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Uni isn't for everyone. . You'll probably have a great life, maybe meet someone special in your 30s or whatever. Peoples' lives peek at different points.

The whole 'uni's the best time of your life' is obviously flawed.. People say this who are overly pleased by not having to work and have any responsibility in life at uni. Nothing more is meant from it than that.
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Sanity Panda
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Uni certainly sounds like the option for him. The problem is why these things have occured...

On a sidenote: Sounds like you had too high expectations perhaps from all the hype?
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Blue Rose
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey, I know some people here so this must remain anonymous.

Ever since GCSE I was excited at the prospect of attending university and I worked extremely hard since then to get into a good university. As I became an A student I applied for the top universities and managed to get offers from which I accepted one of them ( a top 5 uni). My teachers made me so exicted about it, they told me how it easy uni life is and how I will have the best time of my life. I also thought it would be perfect for me.

However, my first year in university has been a complete disaster for me. I 've barely made friends or become part of any group (although I met so many people). I hadn't been able to concetrate in lectures, I've barely attended my tutorials and fell into a deep depressions. I was even planning to drop out of universities and started doubted my abilities. Nothing worked for me during that time and I was alone most of the time.

Believe me I tried working things out: I tried to make friends, I tried to concentrate in lectures, I tried waking up in the morning - but things didnt work and I barely passed my first year.

Once things started to get slightly better towards the end of my second year, I was told that I failed to pass the necessary courses to be able to progress to my final year and need to take an extra year to do so. I still haven't told my parents about what happened and apart from failing, its too late to tell them anyways. I want to work things out but they just never seem to. When I told one of my friend from school, he just said that these things happen and that I'm probably overreacting.

Guys, what do you make of this? Is there something wrong with me or is this a normal thing?
Well I'm going through exactly the same thing. I tell people but they don't think it's serious and therefore I'm just struggling by myself. I'm going to see a councillor in second year, I have no choice.
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beach surf babe
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#6
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When it comes to uni, the main thing is making sure your happy. When you hit a rocky patch, its really tough trying to decide whether its worth just working through it all and it will sort itself out or whether its better to take a step back, leave uni and reassess the situation.

I ended up having to leave uni for all sorts of reasons, but mainly because I had become so depressed. If I'd tried to stay and work things through it would've destroyed me. It wasn't worth the risk. But in doing so I've had to time to figure some things out and I'm having another shot at it again and this time doing something I've wanted to do forever but was too scared to consider.

Other people in my year also left to do other things. Its a bit trial and error the whole uni thing. Its taking risks and getting things wrong sometimes that allow us to realise what we actually want. One thing is certain, you are not the only person to have doubts. Think about what you want to do, what you like and where you want to get to.
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Anonymous #2
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Are you going to repeat the year or are you going to another university?
I went through a similar situation and have now applied for another university which I hope will be better for me. Try not to think about atking a year out as a sign of failure but as a time to sort out what it is you really want from life, maybe the course you were studying wasn't for you, or perhaps the location of the university wasn't right. Either way you could try to learn something new or get some work experience to help out your CV.

Hope this helps.
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evil groove
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You don't sound at all happy. Therefore, to me, it would seem idiotic for you to stay at your current university. IMO to solve your problems you should work from this point.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 10 years ago
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I am not sure I want to leave university. I really want to finish my studies. I am trying so hard to just attempt to pass even with a 2.2. Honest to god, I was studying 11 hours EVERY DAY for two months before the start of my 2nd year exams. And when I spoke to my personal tutor about my failed courses he was talking to me like I am some computer. He barely showed any emotions and in fact even the dean of students, the guy who is supposed to represent students ffs, spoke to me as if I was bringing the standards of the university down.

I am sick and tired of being judged and being set extremely high expectations. I try to speak to the students in my course about how they manage their studies and how they find the course, teaching etc but they are all very reserved and never discuss their studies – especially the international students (probably around 60% of my course) who nearly always speak only amongst themselves and in their own language. (Don't get me wrong international students are great, from other courses though). During school I had a great social life and at sixth form we were all one great bunch and to be at an environment that I don’t have that anymore makes it unbearable. It is even more difficult (although I am so happy for them) that they are all spending amazing time in their universities.

Sometimes I think that the problem is me, that I am simply not good enough. But I do not want to quit, I want it to be a challenge. Maybe the gap year, that I am forced to take, may give me sometime to reflect on my situation and gives me time to properly think about how to approach things

I don't know why I am writing this but at least I hope to share it with others because someone may share similar experiences and I guess its good to know that s/he may not be the only one with this problem.




(Original post by chaseside)
The whole 'uni's the best time of your life' is obviously flawed.. People say this who are overly pleased by not having to work and have any responsibility in life at uni. Nothing more is meant from it than that.
So true! I'll rep you for that
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pikaboo
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#10
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I had similar problems in my first year of uni. I got depressed and seriously considered quitting, but three years on I'm so glad I didn't. It became so much better after that because I finally fell in with a nicer group of friends and now I have the confidence to be with some great people and have fantastic times. This can only be done if you stick at it - I was determined I would have a good time and somehow I did it. You say you don't feel like you're good enough - change this attitude! People are only going to respond well to you and have a good time with you if you look at everything around you in a positive way.

A lot of people who shine academically at school struggle with the change of work style at uni. You could work really hard but then be answering questions in the wrong way in exams which loses you marks. Havr you looked carefully at mark schemes and talked to tutors about how you could improve your writing style? Deans are stereotypically arses, so ignore them...go for lecturers who will actually be marking your exams. Stick at it, unless you really feel like there's another path you can take in life that will make you happier.
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