English Language GCSE

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alrif002
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Can you please mark my answer for question 3 English Language Paper 2. Also can you please show me how can I improve it.
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Q3) How does Dostoevsky use language to show how much he loves his brother? [12 marks]
This is my answer:

Dostoevsky employs a a ranges of loveliness adjectives to emphasis his love toward his brother. Dostoevsky said to his brother “my precious friend”, the adjective “precious”, suggest that Dostoevsky cherish his brother a lot. This shows to the reader that Dostoevsky care about his brother and he seeing him as “friend”, which implies that Dostoevsky fond his brother a lot. Dostoevsky used another adjective “dear brother”, which suggests that Dostoevsky as he love his brother as well as he respected him. This shows that Dostoevsky use a formal language with his brother, which implies that they respect each other.

However, Dostoevsky employed an imperative verb such as “ don’t grieve for me”, to shows his care about his brother. This let the reader to feel emotional as it is shows to them the affection between the sibling. The uses of the repetition “not grieve”, implies that Dostoevsky trying to say to his brother don’t be wistful and he wants form him to “be happy”. This shows to the reader that Dostoevsky wishing to his brother a blissful and hopeful life without begin distress.

Dostoevsky used a verb “embrace you” to emphasise his yearning to his brother. Suggesting that Dostoevsky miss his brother a lot and he just want to hugs him. This clearly emphasis to the reader that Dostoevsky love his brother.
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Davy611
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Dostoevsky employs a a ranges of adjectives to emphasise his love toward his brother. Dostoevsky said to his brother, “my precious friend”; the adjective “precious” suggests that Dostoevsky cherishes his brother a lot. This shows to the reader that Dostoevsky cares about his brother and he sees him as a “friend”. This implies that Dostoevsky respects his brother a lot. Dostoevsky uses another adjective in the noun phrase, “dear brother”, which suggests that Dostoevsky loves his brother as well as respects him. Dostoevsky uses formal language with his brother, which implies that they respect each other.

However, Dostoevsky employed an imperative verb in the phrase “ don’t grieve for me” to shows how much he cares for his brother. This lets the reader feel emotional as it is shows to them the affection between the siblings. The repetition of “not grieve” implies that Dostoevsky is trying to say to his brother to not be wistful and he wants for him to “be happy”. This shows to the reader that Dostoevsky wishes his brother a blissful and hopeful life without distress.

Dostoevsky used a verb in “embrace you” to emphasise his yearning to his brother. This is suggesting that Dostoevsky misses his brother a lot and he just want to hug him. This clearly emphasises to the reader that Dostoevsky loves his brother.


Hi.

Your general literacy could improve; I've made some changes to improve the fluency of your response. Here, you show some understanding of the impact that language has in the extract and you make some relevant comments. You'd be assessed within Level 2. You'd probably get 6 but you might get 5. I don't think you've explained your opinions clearly enough for Level 3. My changes to your grammar and punctuation help to make your ideas a little clearer and could boost your mark.

This is an example of how you could get more marks:

However, Dostoevsky employed an imperative verb in the phrase “Don’t grieve for me” to shows how much he cares for his brother. This demonstrates the affection that the writer has for his sibling but it also reflects his desire for his brother to not feel pain. The writer is strong and compassionate; he knows that this is a very challenging and emotive situation and he wants to reduce the traumatic impact on his brother. The repetition of “not grieve” emphasises this idea and makes it clear that Dostoevsky is encouraging his brother to not be wistful. He wants for him to “be happy”. We admire Dostoevsky's selflessness here; it would be easy for him to focus on himself but he is aware of his responsibility towards his (younger?) sibling. He's the ultimate big brother.
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alrif002
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#3
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Thanks a lot for your help
Now I know what I need to improve.
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