The Student Room Group

Messy Housemate

Its not a big issue, BUT.... its always there and is beginning to get on my nerves.
I have 4 people whom I share a house with.
2 Insist on everything being really tidy but are never tidy themselves, they always post your mistakes in the group chat and no one ever posts their stuff because they are afraid of the backlash and the fact we do still have to live with them afterwards.
1 washes his stuff, but then leaves the clean stuff everywhere, so you can use the sides because his literal contents of his cupboard is everywhere apart from inside his cupboard!
I know I'm not perfect but I am trying my best.
I have spoke to one of the 2 privately about the posting because I know they don't mean it but it feels like a humiliation, the posting has got a little better.
We had a house meeting to discuss, but it felt very accusatory to this one guy who leaves his stuff EVERYWHERE. Needless to say it didn't work.
We tidy up communal spaces together, this one guy is present but he just kind of watches and hoovers after. That being said there are 5 people trying to tidy up one kitchen. But the state it is in right before tidying day is a bit much. I don't want to tidy up twice a week, if everyone did a little throughout, and we had this one sesh it would probably be fine. Talking to this one guy isn't working and I don't want o offend, I have to live with them. And I'm scared to upset the other 2. What should I do?

The bin as well. OMDAYS the bin! its gets full every 2 days i swear thats not normal, no one squishes boxes cans or bottle no matter how many times I've said it. And no one takes it out apart from the same people.

Am I being super petty or being repeatedly and constantly tidying up after everyone so that I may make something to eat, has given me the right to be a little annoyed
Original post by Anonymous
Its not a big issue, BUT.... its always there and is beginning to get on my nerves.
I have 4 people whom I share a house with.
2 Insist on everything being really tidy but are never tidy themselves, they always post your mistakes in the group chat and no one ever posts their stuff because they are afraid of the backlash and the fact we do still have to live with them afterwards.
1 washes his stuff, but then leaves the clean stuff everywhere, so you can use the sides because his literal contents of his cupboard is everywhere apart from inside his cupboard!
I know I'm not perfect but I am trying my best.
I have spoke to one of the 2 privately about the posting because I know they don't mean it but it feels like a humiliation, the posting has got a little better.
We had a house meeting to discuss, but it felt very accusatory to this one guy who leaves his stuff EVERYWHERE. Needless to say it didn't work.
We tidy up communal spaces together, this one guy is present but he just kind of watches and hoovers after. That being said there are 5 people trying to tidy up one kitchen. But the state it is in right before tidying day is a bit much. I don't want to tidy up twice a week, if everyone did a little throughout, and we had this one sesh it would probably be fine. Talking to this one guy isn't working and I don't want o offend, I have to live with them. And I'm scared to upset the other 2. What should I do?

The bin as well. OMDAYS the bin! its gets full every 2 days i swear thats not normal, no one squishes boxes cans or bottle no matter how many times I've said it. And no one takes it out apart from the same people.

Am I being super petty or being repeatedly and constantly tidying up after everyone so that I may make something to eat, has given me the right to be a little annoyed

You have the right to complain but you seem to be afraid due to the consequence. I’d suggest speaking to them individually rather than in a group.
Why is it ok for them to complain but not you? The messages on the group chat are a form of humiliation and completely unnecessary. The hypocrisy would drive me crazy and make me angry to be honest. Can you talk to them individually?
Reply 3
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
I think talking to them is a losing battle, ill maybe go and speak to them later
originally i designated the side by the draining board for this extra clean stuff, but people who were soaking pans there also left stuff there so I was asked not to.
So i put all the clean stuff on the side
then the 2 asked me not to because they got cobwebs, tbh if they left it there long enough for cobwebs thats not okay
so then i used the spare freezer drawer to store stuff on the kitchen table, right in view for them to do stuff but not in the way.
they removed the drawer and placed the stuff all over the side because the drawer was dirty.
Original post by Anonymous
I think talking to them is a losing battle, ill maybe go and speak to them later
originally i designated the side by the draining board for this extra clean stuff, but people who were soaking pans there also left stuff there so I was asked not to.
So i put all the clean stuff on the side
then the 2 asked me not to because they got cobwebs, tbh if they left it there long enough for cobwebs thats not okay
so then i used the spare freezer drawer to store stuff on the kitchen table, right in view for them to do stuff but not in the way.
they removed the drawer and placed the stuff all over the side because the drawer was dirty.

They seem to be an annoying bunch. You have to speak with them rather than die in silence.
Reply 5
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
So unrelated issue, I was struggling to sleep, last week I was awake till 3am and waking up at 7am everyday! To maximise my time I did some coursework till the quality in my work was no more. This was generally around 1am/2am, so I would decide to tidy at this time, it was repetitive, boring and made me tired. I would sweep the kitchen, do the floor, the sink, the sides etc. I refused to put pans, clean or dirty away or wash them up, but I would have to move them to either tidy up effectively or just for my own enjoyment. The 2 mentioned have finally got annoyed with their stuff moving and decided to very gently in all fairness say it was annoying them, to which I told them you don't want it moved, tidy it! They have already started this practise and I have no doubt I'll have some late nights/early mornings ahead in which I'm more than happy to remind them of the endless searching for stuff in the morning if they revert back to their old habits.
The 2 and myself are still annoyed with the one so we have decided, there is an unused wardrobe in the hallway, and we will move his stuff to their if he has left it out for more than 4 days without using or cleaning it, and see how long it takes him to notice it. It maybe a little mischievous but quickly he is will learn how to use a shared kitchen. I mean we have given him fair time and notice, he has lived here for 2 months and we have spoken to him both privately and publicly. Fingers crossed it works, because i don't want to actually be mean and it makes me uncomfortable but somehow we have to communicate a the message through other means than actually talking.

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