Insecurity/Holiday with friends Dilemna Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Please keep anon.

Basically, my friend has been, for about a year, going on about how next year we're going to their villa abroad on holiday. There's was a number of people in the group who groaned and made excuses, and I kind of think they see's me as the one who can defintely come. It's still on, and they're planning to book our tickets later this year (they've been checking flights since Year 11, literally). It was all fine, and I was fine with it.

Until that is, a few weeks ago when I went on holiday with my parents. Before hand I was feeling rather insecure about my appearance and thought a week away would do me good. It didn't. The beach/swimming pool environment made it worse and made me ill. And I'm ten times more insecure and dreading to go on holiday in a August with my family, and even more nervous about the planned holiday with my friends.

This insecurity stems from my appearance. It is slightly noticeable. And I hope to have an operation to 'fix'/improve it- which I cannot wait for! This operation, coincedently, is penciled in for the same time me and my friends are planning to go away next year.

At this point I really don't want to go on holiday, neither with them or anyone purely for this insecurity reason. But I know it will realllyyyy upset my friend as they see me as they only one they can truly trust upon. And by the way, my reason, I believe, is more justifiable than other individuals.

Do I:

A) Wait for the other's to back out i.e. pass the buck on to someone else to do the upsetting.

B) Tell my friend truthfully about my insecurity issues.

C) Tell them I've booked the operation for the same time and could do nothing about it.

Pleasssseeeee help.
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Spotty Dog
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#2
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Be honest with your friends.

A villa is usually private - A lot more private than a hotel.
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Girl♥RadioHeart
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#3
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I'd suggest B + C are good places to start, begin by telling them about your issues and hope that they'll understand and help you! Have you tried writing a list of things you love about yourself? Put it by your mirror and read it, look at it and think about the positive aspects of your appearance, every body has them... even if your insecurities override them in some respects, try to focus on the good elements. Your friends should understand and youc an go on holiday anytime, but this operation may only be available this once...
Hope this helps
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beccadimambro
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#4
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If it's been planned for years, then surely if they had to hold off a month or two for you to recover, it wouldn't be so bad? I'd be honest with them, though.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by beccadimambro)
If it's been planned for years, then surely if they had to hold off a month or two for you to recover, it wouldn't be so bad? I'd be honest with them, though.
It wouldn't be a few months- the recovery is much longer. Also they would all be going uni in September.
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GemmyMonster
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#6
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Errm, what is the operation for? So people can get perspective.
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Peanut42
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Is it rude to ask what your operation is for? Would you be able to tell them honestly what you were having done?
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Anonymous #1
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The operation is a leg correction.

My friends know what I'm having done. They understand it is long and painful operation and recovery but also know that I want to have it done.
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Sapphire_Eyes
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Could you not have the operation done then on the grounds its ok with the doc fly out on the hoilday if the operation is first?

Or if the operation is during the hoilday

Go out on hoilday then return for the operation come home a day or so earlier and then return if you can to the hoilday?
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Anonymous #1
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Anyone else have advice?
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Chloe-S
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#11
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hey i understand your situation i had to cancel my girls holiday which was suposed to be the 1st week of sept because im having an operation at the end of august and wouldnt have recovered in time, my friends were dissapointed when i told them but i had to choose what was more important to me and it was the op as i have been waiting for it for longer than i have a girls holiday,
try suggestng a weekend away earlier in august or something that way u can still go away with your friends and still have the op in sept X
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