Recurring dreams about an 'ex' - London we have a problem! Watch

JustJam2006
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It's been months since it's been over and nothing like this has happened before. Now over the past few weeks, I'm having dreams about him a couple of times a week. Ive been trying to ignore it but last night after the dream was so vivid, that even after I'd woken up it was still continuing, I think this is a bit too far now. The dreams range from random ordinary things to very explicit. I don't want to dream about him, I want to see him!

I'm giving up on pretending that I'm not interested in him anymore because I am...very much so. God, it's soooo frustrating. I don't know what to do. I've taken a lot of advice: avoid contact, meet new people, cut all forms of contact with him, act normal around him, find someone else to be interested in...I could go on

WELL IT HASN'T RUDDY WORKED HAS IT?!

I think I'm actually going a bit mad now...somebody help me

...please?
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Anonymous #1
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Bit weird but I'm going through exactly the same thing and I don't know what to do about it. Only difference is that its been about a month. My friends give me the same advice like ignore them etc. but I can't.
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linda helena
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The only thing you can do is to give it time. Avoid contact with him, try to avoid thinking about him and wait it out. Eventually you will get over him.
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JustJam2006
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(Original post by linda helena)
The only thing you can do is to give it time. Avoid contact with him, try to avoid thinking about him and wait it out. Eventually you will get over him.
True. It has been 8 months though which I think is ridiculous seeing as I was only seeing him for a fraction of the time. I have been avoiding thinking about him, in fact I've been quite busy with other things and then waking up in the morning having dreamt about him - it's pretty unnerving
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JustJam2006
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Bit weird but I'm going through exactly the same thing and I don't know what to do about it. Only difference is that its been about a month. My friends give me the same advice like ignore them etc. but I can't.
I'm sorry...:hugs:

You will feel better though as a month is still a relatively short period of time
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linda helena
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(Original post by JustJam2006)
True. It has been 8 months though which I think is ridiculous seeing as I was only seeing him for a fraction of the time. I have been avoiding thinking about him, in fact I've been quite busy with other things and then waking up in the morning having dreamt about him - it's pretty unnerving
Oh, that must be annoying! I had recurring dreams about my ex for about 8 months after we broke up too so I know what it's like.
Hope it'll stop soon!
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JustJam2006
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(Original post by linda helena)
Oh, that must be annoying! I had recurring dreams about my ex for about 8 months after we broke up too so I know what it's like.
Hope it'll stop soon!
Thanks, so do I! I recently found his number again after thinking I had chucked it away and contemplated making a twart of myself and phoning him. I decided against it! :p:
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FadedJade
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hey JJ - remember me? lol

You need to think about why you broke up and the reasons why you still want to be with him. Did you get closure? I'm assuming it wasn't a mutual decision? Depending on why you split up and things that have gone on since, (and since the other things dont seem to have worked!) it might be worth trying to meet up for a drink or something. Not in terms of looking at getting back with him, but he may have changed a lot over that time and you wonder what you ever saw in him!

I was with one guy for quite a while, we went through a lot together and he broke my heart, I still think about him every now and then and what might have been, but it doesnt mean I think any less of my current bloke. You'll probably find yourself comparing everyone else to him, and its perfectly normal to do so (even if not a particularly good idea!) .....

Just went up to check something in your post and re-read it. I'm an idiot. Meet up with him and see if you still feel the same - people change so much. Sometimes its worth telling him straight, if you get a straight no back then you'll know exactly where you stand. This is assuming he doesnt have another girlfriend at the moment?

Sorry this is a bit rambling, I'm trying to remember various things from our previous discussion without much success!!
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evil groove
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It's even more unnerving when you've dreamt about them and then you put your phone on in the morning and they've text you :gasp:
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Anonymous #2
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I've dreamt about my ex up to 2 years after we broke up, even though I've had a new bf for that time...

It's not like you choose what you dream about.
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FireDeuce
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You just can't control dreams. I had dreams about an ex for about a year, and it built up this whole thing about what it would be like to get with him again. I thought that once we kissed again everything in the world would make sense again.... it really didnt.

I guess it's just your minds way of bridging the gaps between what you have and what you want.
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JustJam2006
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(Original post by Nina)
hey JJ - remember me? lol

You need to think about why you broke up and the reasons why you still want to be with him. Did you get closure? I'm assuming it wasn't a mutual decision? Depending on why you split up and things that have gone on since, (and since the other things dont seem to have worked!) it might be worth trying to meet up for a drink or something. Not in terms of looking at getting back with him, but he may have changed a lot over that time and you wonder what you ever saw in him!

I was with one guy for quite a while, we went through a lot together and he broke my heart, I still think about him every now and then and what might have been, but it doesnt mean I think any less of my current bloke. You'll probably find yourself comparing everyone else to him, and its perfectly normal to do so (even if not a particularly good idea!) .....

Just went up to check something in your post and re-read it. I'm an idiot. Meet up with him and see if you still feel the same - people change so much. Sometimes its worth telling him straight, if you get a straight no back then you'll know exactly where you stand. This is assuming he doesnt have another girlfriend at the moment?

Sorry this is a bit rambling, I'm trying to remember various things from our previous discussion without much success!!
Hey Nina!

I do remember you! You've been very helpful thus far. In answer to your questions:
* It wasn't a mutual decision to break up; it was his.
* I'm not sure that I got closure really. It went directly from talking to each other daily and texting all the time to walking past me in the corridors to mumbling hello now and then. Also had a few online arguments about it but never face-to-face arguments.
* He does have another long-term girlfriend at the moment so it's probably not the best idea to try to meet up with him. Besides I think she may be one of the reasons why he doesn't talk to me anymore; then again I can see his point.

Strange thing is that over the months, if I've needed help with work or anything, he is quick to help but when it comes to having any form of a general conversation, he finds it hard to even look at me

Hmm I know I'm going to have to leave him alone but it doesn't help that he has the commonest name in the world and so guaranteed whereever I go on turn on the TV, I'll hear his name called out and quickly look around to see where he is!

Maybe contact him a few months down the line? Is that a bad idea? I'm so reluctant to throw that number away AGAIN
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JustJam2006
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(Original post by evil groove)
It's even more unnerving when you've dreamt about them and then you put your phone on in the morning and they've text you :gasp:
LOL....goodness. I think I'd cry:p:
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JustJam2006
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(Original post by FireDeuce)
You just can't control dreams. I had dreams about an ex for about a year, and it built up this whole thing about what it would be like to get with him again. I thought that once we kissed again everything in the world would make sense again.... it really didnt.

I guess it's just your minds way of bridging the gaps between what you have and what you want.
True. I guess the bold bit could be very true. A sort of sub-conscious thing. Hmm
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thanette
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My advice is try not to not think about him or get over him. You can't control your emotions unfortunately; all you can do is let it take its course and wait it out. Prob not what you want to hear, but try not to stress out-it'll happen when it happens.
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FadedJade
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In that case it sounds to me like all you need is closure! Which is easier said than done now he has a new girlfriend. You should probably throw away his number again. I'll try and think of a way of getting closure that won't be awkward for the new girlfriend, not sure if there is one though!
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evil groove
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(Original post by Nina)
In that case it sounds to me like all you need is closure! Which is easier said than done now he has a new girlfriend. You should probably throw away his number again. I'll try and think of a way of getting closure that won't be awkward for the new girlfriend, not sure if there is one though!
Send a really embarrassing email to him pouring your heart out. Works for me. Trust me, if the O.P. does this she'll never want to face him again
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FadedJade
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Yeah but doing that isnt exactly fair on his new girlfriend.
edit: I know - i did exactly the same thing!
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evil groove
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(Original post by JustJam2006)
LOL....goodness. I think I'd cry:p:
Aww that's just sweet
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evil groove
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(Original post by Nina)
Yeah but doing that isnt exactly fair on his new girlfriend.
edit: I know - i did exactly the same thing!
Ace.

I know it isn't entirely fair but then again I wasn't exactly trying to steal him (he lives really far away so there'd be no point anyway ) and also I sincerely doubt he would have dared show his girlfriend the email anyway. She will never know :p: Thank God
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