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cheating, abuse & new partner .... help

So long story cut short my boyfriend text me the other day to say he doesn't plan on ever actually seeing me ever again. we had been together for nearly 4 years. 2 days later he was in a relationship with someone else and it was plastered all over social media .... so he has clearly been cheating. Im glad to be away from it all as he had hit me, obviously cheated and had treated me really badly.

However, the girl that he is now with is a lot younger than me and from the post on her facebook I gather has depression and really struggles with her mental health. My family know her parents and my question is ; do you think I should let her know/her parents know what she's dealing with. I just think if I was getting into a new relationship especially with mental health issues I would like to know about this so I could get so far away from him. Or do I just stay quiet and let her get destroyed by him swell
If i was her I would appreciate you reaching out and giving me the heads up, helping me dodge a bullet. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I would say to let her know, and if she doesn't believe you then that is her choice, you have done your part and the rest is out of your reach with what she choose to do with the information you give her.
Sorry to hear that you've gone through some rough stuff. I hope you find someone who treats you properly.

And yes you should deffo tell the girl!! You know the guy, you spent 4 years with him and since you know the girl and her family, this is a chance to help protect her. I would say let both the parents and the girl know. The girl may not listen to you and there's nothing much you can do but I think having her parents know may help and is important since her bad mental state will make her more vulnerable to your ex.

Good luck.
Sometimes people prey on those younger as they're easier to control and manipulate, especially if the person has low self esteem and is therefore already vulnerable. He'll keep chipping away at her confidence until she eventually believes he's the only one that truly loves and cares for her and she'll become completely dependent on him and him only.

I would say something, perhaps to her parents if you don't feel comfortable speaking to the girl yourself. I would absolutely want to know if my daughter was dating someone abusive.
(edited 4 years ago)
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gemmamac13
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Thank you for your replies !!!
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mgi
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Original post by gemmamac13
So long story cut short my boyfriend text me the other day to say he doesn't plan on ever actually seeing me ever again. we had been together for nearly 4 years. 2 days later he was in a relationship with someone else and it was plastered all over social media .... so he has clearly been cheating. Im glad to be away from it all as he had hit me, obviously cheated and had treated me really badly.

However, the girl that he is now with is a lot younger than me and from the post on her facebook I gather has depression and really struggles with her mental health. My family know her parents and my question is ; do you think I should let her know/her parents know what she's dealing with. I just think if I was getting into a new relationship especially with mental health issues I would like to know about this so I could get so far away from him. Or do I just stay quiet and let her get destroyed by him swell


To be honest it really isnt your business!What yiu need to think about is why you put up with such abuse for years? What does that say about you that needs addressing? Of course your ex is very disrespectful; who breaks up with their gf of 4 years ny text? But it is obvious that you need support yo hrlp you raise your self esteem. I would not get into another relationship until you have dealt with this issue! Forget your ex and his business.
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gemmamac13
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Original post by mgi
To be honest it really isnt your business!What yiu need to think about is why you put up with such abuse for years? What does that say about you that needs addressing? Of course your ex is very disrespectful; who breaks up with their gf of 4 years ny text? But it is obvious that you need support yo hrlp you raise your self esteem. I would not get into another relationship until you have dealt with this issue! Forget your ex and his business.

Thank you but I do not have any problems with my self esteem and I do not plan to get into another relationship anytime soon, I didn't once say in my post that I had "put up with such abuse for years". Every person I have spoken to has said to speak to the other girl/ parents including his own family but it is helpful to see another opinion so thank you for your advice.

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