The Student Room Group

Girlfriend never shows affection any more.

Doesn’t cuddle me anymore or want cuddled. When I try and cuddle her she tells me to “get off”. She doesn’t want hugged either. When I go to kiss her she, purses her lips as though she doesn’t even want to do it. The relationship is completely non-physical in every aspect now, all the time. She doesn’t want me to cuddle, kiss, hug her at all. I am never allowed to do any of these things. If I do she’ll scream at me and end up becoming violent. In bed she tells me to move as far away as possible from her every night. If I end up rolling closer to her in my sleep I’ll wake up to her screaming at me to get back to my side of the bed, every night. Whenever I see her after a day at college or work, we’ll just say “hi” to each other. Never a kiss or hug hello/goodbye. I don’t understand why.

I feel I should stress that I have never hit her or abused her in any sort of way ever. Neither has anyone else. This is just something that has gradually happened as the relationship’s progressed.

What do you guys think?
You sure she's not been raped and hasn't told you? The screaming and violence seems over the top, like PTSD.
doesn't sound good at all. I'm no professional, but if she's actually screaming and getting violent at you over these things, it could be some mental health issue.

you really need to talk to her about this, it's just something that's going to cause tension between you two and needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

if she has been abused in the past or has mental health issues, you should support her through them.
Original post by ChickenMadness
You sure she's not been raped and hasn't told you? The screaming and violence seems over the top.

No, we’ve been together two years and have told each other about our past. When we first got together this wasn’t an issue. It’s only the past few months the relationship has become completely non-physical.
Original post by Anonymous
doesn't sound good at all. I'm no professional, but if she's actually screaming and getting violent at you over these things, it could be some mental health issue.

you really need to talk to her about this, it's just something that's going to cause tension between you two and needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

if she has been abused in the past or has mental health issues, you should support her through them.

I don’t think she has mental health issues, it just seems to be the way she is. She can become very aggressive and violent over the smallest of things. Even when it’s not related to me hugging her. If I say something she doesn’t like she can lash out, tearing things off walls, destroying things, throwing objects across the room and hitting me.
Original post by andysmith1998
No, we’ve been together two years and have told each other about our past. When we first got together this wasn’t an issue. It’s only the past few months the relationship has become completely non-physical.

Ye it could have happened recently though. People keep traumatic things a secret because of the embarassment/shame/etc.
Original post by andysmith1998
I don’t think she has mental health issues, it just seems to be the way she is. She can become very aggressive and violent over the smallest of things. Even when it’s not related to me hugging her. If I say something she doesn’t like she can lash out, tearing things off walls, destroying things, throwing objects across the room and hitting me.

This sounds like serious anger issues, at least. Has she ever got help for them? Sounds like she needs it. While you should support her you shouldn't allow yourself to be abused by her.
Original post by ChickenMadness
Ye it could have happened recently though. People keep traumatic things a secret because of the embarassment.

We live together and see each other every day. She would have told me. I don’t think it’s linked to trauma or abuse. She just gets very annoyed if I touch her and try and initiate any sort of physical contact.
Original post by Anonymous
This sounds like serious anger issues, at least. Has she ever got help for them? Sounds like she needs it. While you should support her you shouldn't allow yourself to be abused by her.

I think she does have anger issues and I’m assuming that is probably where this situation has stemmed from. She keeps telling me to leave, give her space, go away. I’m starting to feel she’s just not interested anymore.
Original post by andysmith1998
I think she does have anger issues and I’m assuming that is probably where this situation has stemmed from. She keeps telling me to leave, give her space, go away. I’m starting to feel she’s just not interested anymore.

it's something you really need to talk to her honestly about.
She clearly does have mental health issues and violence is absolutely never acceptable. I had a pretty crappy childhood, but that doesn’t give me the right to abuse other people. I would leave the moment someone put a finger on me. There would be no dialogue.
Is she like this with anyone else? Does she let her friends hug her, for example?
maybe she doesn't love you, but whatever it is, this doesn't seem like a relationship worth saving

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you