why do i do this? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
hey, please keep anon because i feel terrible. basically, more than 2 years ago, i had a mad brief intense relationship with someone...i had just come out of a really serious long term relationship and threw myself into the new one, really fell for the guy, but we broke up after about 5 weeks. i was completely devastated even though we'd only been together a short time, we really "clicked" and it came out of nowhere when we split up. for ages i couldn't find anyone who i had that same connection with, but then i got closer to the boy who is now my current boyfriend. we have been together nearly a year and he is literally amazing, i love him so much and he treats me so well. despite though everything being perfect, i still sometimes think about the other guy. i check his facebook on occasion, and it makes me feel weird and nostalgic, even though everything is perfect with me and my boyfriend. he just spoke to me on msn for the first time in months (him starting the conversation) and it was so strange, it took me right back to how i felt when we broke up...less intense, i wasn't crying at my computer, but i felt really vulnerable and had butterflies in my stomach. i can't believe i reacted like this when just last night me and my boyfriend were discussing the future, how we're going to stay together when i go to uni, where we want to live after university. its like there's always a little nagging feeling of "what could have been..." i feel like i want to just get this guy out of my system, even though i feel he should definitely be out of it already.

sorry it's long! and by the way there is definitely nothing lacking in me and my boyfriend's relationship, we are really happy together. thats why its so puzzling, if we were going through a bad patch i could understand it more...
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Arielle
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#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
it's completely natural but what you musn't do is get into more contact with the old boy because you don't want to jeapordise your 'perfect' relationship. it will just make you upset in the end and ruin things you have just because of curiosity. i'd break off all contact if i were you
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Y'anami!
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#3
Report 10 years ago
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Maybe like you said, it's just nostalgia.. if you feel like it's going to take away from your current relationship, you should try and not talk to them. If not, you guys can always stay friends right? Laugh about the good times?
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OllyThePhilosopher
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#4
Report 10 years ago
#4
I'm sure everyone thinks about past relationships and think about 'what could have been' so that isn't unnatural. These feelings are irrational but common. You should probably stay away from your ex(s), even speaking to them on msn or whatever because they could end up destroying your current relationship for no reason. Don't forget, things are great with your boyfriend. Everyone has doubts but they hardly ever mean something significant.
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