Counsellors Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
I've seen 3 different counsellors over the past year and I always end up falling out with them and end up hating them and refusing to go back... is there something wrong with me or are counsellors just not as great as their reputation?
reply
dh00001
Badges: 14
#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
i quite like mine.
what is it you fall out over?
reply
Kabloomybuzz
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#3
Report 10 years ago
#3
I get on well with mine

Same question as above.... what do you fall out over?
And what do you see them for

Perhaps they tell you or make you realise something about yourself that you dont like, and you get angry and scared???
Just a thought
It IS ok to be angry with counsellors, they are quite used to it and they are only human they make mistakes and are not perfect.
0
reply
Hev456
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#4
Report 10 years ago
#4
Actually it's interesting that i seem to recall something related to Freud about this. Or i might be completely wrong??

Basically usually the counsellee (ie you) will be talking about various highly emotional topics, which induce a feeling of anger, these then get transposed onto your counsellor. Meaning you hate the person you are angry at, so freud said you subconsciously think your counsellor is the person, so hate your counsellor.

... Or you've just had bad luck with counsellors.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#5
Report 10 years ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've seen 3 different counsellors over the past year and I always end up falling out with them and end up hating them and refusing to go back... is there something wrong with me or are counsellors just not as great as their reputation?
I've had this problem. Been through 2 different counsellers and i refuse to see anymore. Just doesn't help.. i've found someone i can talk to but he's moved away now ..
But i think counselling isn't for everyone.. I no i just dont feel comfortable talking to a stranger about my problems..
Maybe your similar..?

Hope it sorts itself out
reply
Valkyrja
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#6
Report 10 years ago
#6
Nope its nothing rare....a lot of people have that problem.

Try asking to see a Psychiatrist as opposed to a counsellor...I found that the professional distance provided by psychs is much easier to deal with some counsellors....

Counsellors although qualified...are more about empathising and sometimes they are rubbish at their job...I once had one who simply talked about her own family constantly...I was like "hello!"...Psychs are much better...basically because they do genuinely never talk *******s. Particularly because they tend to be much more objective people. I prefer it anyways.
0
reply
becki08
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#7
Report 10 years ago
#7
It depends, it could either be that they aren't very good or that possibly your way of coping with things is to end up hating them. For example, I fell out with my psychiatrist because he said something that I didn't like. However, it wasn't really that he'd said anything wrong, just that it wasn't something I wanted to admit to. I also fell out with several other people I've seen for similar reasons. Maybe you should look into what actually caused the falling out?
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#8
Report 10 years ago
#8
just wondering, i used to have a counsellor when i was much younger, i got through them from school refferals etc. however i feel now as though i need the help of a counsellor etc, but how do you go about getting one without being reffered? do you pay?

sorry to hijack thread
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#9
ok, first counsellor was for ED and depression, didnt like her cos she was a bit gormless... i told her i wanted to jump off a bridge and she just laughed... but she was really weird and used to just stare at me waiting for me to say stuff and told me off for not pre deciding what i wanted to say.

second one was a psychologist for ED who was a maniac, told me i was a failed anorexic and that i should give up wanting a career cos i'd be crap at what i wanna do etc etc absolute nutter... used to be so horrible

and now im seeing one who is a counsellor and we ended up arguing cos i said i thoughti was ugly and that everyone else probs thinks im ugly and she asked if i thought she thought i wa sugly and i said yes and seh said she was offended that i would think for her... but i cant help what i feel and she was going on about how i cant seriously think im ugly etc etc... but its just awkward with her, i never know what to say and i always feel uncomforatble talking to her...

thanks for responses v helpful...

and i think it might not help that i've had to see them against my will!
reply
becki08
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#10
Report 10 years ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
just wondering, i used to have a counsellor when i was much younger, i got through them from school refferals etc. however i feel now as though i need the help of a counsellor etc, but how do you go about getting one without being reffered? do you pay?

sorry to hijack thread
The best way is to go to your doctor and get referred. If not you can go to somewhere like relate but you'd have to pay. There's many private places you can go but for counselling on the NHS you need to be referred by a doctor :hugs:
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#11
oh and nos 1 and 2 were doc referred and one now is a charity so free
reply
Kabloomybuzz
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#12
Report 10 years ago
#12
It sounds like they were all very bad counsellors!!

I'm sorry you've had such bad luck.

How dod you get in contact with them? were you reffered by GP are you seeing them privately?

Personally, I would complain about all of them

Not all counsellors are like this. You've just been unfortunate
0
reply
becki08
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#13
Report 10 years ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
ok, first counsellor was for ED and depression, didnt like her cos she was a bit gormless... i told her i wanted to jump off a bridge and she just laughed... but she was really weird and used to just stare at me waiting for me to say stuff and told me off for not pre deciding what i wanted to say.

second one was a psychologist for ED who was a maniac, told me i was a failed anorexic and that i should give up wanting a career cos i'd be crap at what i wanna do etc etc absolute nutter... used to be so horrible

and now im seeing one who is a counsellor and we ended up arguing cos i said i thoughti was ugly and that everyone else probs thinks im ugly and she asked if i thought she thought i wa sugly and i said yes and seh said she was offended that i would think for her... but i cant help what i feel and she was going on about how i cant seriously think im ugly etc etc... but its just awkward with her, i never know what to say and i always feel uncomforatble talking to her...

thanks for responses v helpful...

and i think it might not help that i've had to see them against my will!

It sounds like you've had pretty bad luck! And yes, seeing people against your will doesn't help at all! Maybe give another one a go and hopefully they'll be nicer and more helpful. Where are you receiving your counselling? What I mean is, is it through CAMHS/CMHT/private/school etc?
0
reply
Kabloomybuzz
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#14
Report 10 years ago
#14
Why do you have to see them against your will?

Whats to stop you upping leaving and not going back??

Perhaps seeing a BACP accredited counsellor privately would be better if you can afford it
0
reply
Sabertooth
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#15
Report 10 years ago
#15
Some counsellors are totally useless, I've had 2, 1 was great we really connected and she helped quite a lot, but the other was total crap. It sounds like you've had a pretty bad draw of them, why not try a different one? You're within your rights to complain about them and see someone else.

Good luck
0
reply
Saffie
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#16
Report 10 years ago
#16
(Original post by Hev456)
Actually it's interesting that i seem to recall something related to Freud about this. Or i might be completely wrong??

Basically usually the counsellee (ie you) will be talking about various highly emotional topics, which induce a feeling of anger, these then get transposed onto your counsellor. Meaning you hate the person you are angry at, so freud said you subconsciously think your counsellor is the person, so hate your counsellor.

... Or you've just had bad luck with counsellors.
That's called Transference. And you're right, it was first described by Freud.

It doesn't just happen in counselling, it happens all the time. You recreate the relationships you had when you were younger. Someone reminds you of someone you hated as a child, and you won't get on with them.. etc. You were abused as a child, you go on to abuse your kids... I find it quite worrying!!

Judging by the OPs explanations though, it sounds like they weren't the right counsellors for her. Its hard to say that they're bad per se, as they may have really helped other people. With counsellors its all about getting the right one for you, some people you can talk openly with and others, you just can't. They know this and generally aren't offended if you ask to switch, after all, helping you is their number one priority. So if there are others at this charity, can you ask to try seeing someone else? I'm sure you won't need to give a reason, you can just say you don't find them easy to talk to.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#17
hey thanks for replies everyone... the first one i stopped seeing cos it was on prescription so i was only allowed 6 sessions, then doc just put me on pills instead and referred me to CAMS or whatever its called...

second one i asked for a transfer and basically the one i had said that wasnt an option and i could either talk it through with her and sort out why i didnt like her or i could discharge myself, so i did the latter (i took my friend along to the appt to make sure i wasnt being overdramatic and apparently she was actually a *****)

last one im seeing now and i deffo would stop going but im off to uni in sept so i was thinking id stick it out for the next month.

the thing is with her it was going quite well then suddenly it got weird which was why i was worried it was just me...

and it's against my will cos i have certain people who are supporting me though everything but only because they know i'm having professional help... if they thought i was carrying on refusing help then they would either get my rents involved or not want to have such a large responsibility... like what if something awful happened to me etc...

i cant afford to pay for one sadly as im jobless and lazy and my parents dont know...

but thanks for saying ive just had bad ones cos now i wont be automatically reluctant to try uni counsellors...

argh i feel like such a mess
reply
cadaeibfeceh
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#18
Report 10 years ago
#18
I went to one a year or two ago and realised that she wasn't actually doing anything and was just wasting an hour a week of my life...
0
reply
iliketurtles
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#19
Report 10 years ago
#19
(Original post by cadaeibfeceh)
I went to one a year or two ago and realised that she wasn't actually doing anything and was just wasting an hour a week of my life...
Same here, although it was good to have someone to discuss a few issues with, but in general the counselling sessions were completely pointless. Thinking back about it now, I find it rather strange that this counsellor guy knows so much about me - yet I know next to nothing about him. I kind of resent him because of this, and there is probably also a slight degree of transference too adding to this resentment.

We did actually talk about transference and countertransference during one session, which was a bit strange. I have no idea what he was trying to achieve by confusing me with all this psychoanalysis stuff.
0
reply
hannah_dru
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#20
Report 10 years ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
and now im seeing one who is a counsellor and we ended up arguing cos i said i thoughti was ugly and that everyone else probs thinks im ugly and she asked if i thought she thought i wa sugly and i said yes and seh said she was offended that i would think for her... but i cant help what i feel and she was going on about how i cant seriously think im ugly etc etc... but its just awkward with her, i never know what to say and i always feel uncomforatble talking to her...
I actually can see her point. I think what she was trying to get you to do was look at yourself from an outsider's point of view to try and change your opinion of yourself. Obviously that's not working. If you're seeing counsellors against your will then it sounds like you don't think they're useful for you. If you do think that counselling could work I'd go to sessions with more of an open mind.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (308)
37.52%
No - but I will (63)
7.67%
No - I don't want to (61)
7.43%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (389)
47.38%

Watched Threads

View All