I need to lose weight, but... Watch

Amy 12
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Hi everyone!
My name is Amy and this is a desperate plea on behalf of me. I need so much help right now, but I don't know where to find it. I'm too young to be on this website (12) but I don't know where else to turn. Please, please, please understand.

I am overweight. I come from a family of obese/overweight people, so, naturally, I am overweight too.

Puberty hit me early, and badly. I have what's considered the worst of it. Acne, periods, voice cracks, an incredibly flat chest and a lot of random weight. I've always been an overweight child but it's been so terrible lately.

My brothers' and sister eat a lot, so I am given quite large helpings. If I do not eat everything in these helpings, my dad worries, asks me if I don't like food and alludes to eating disorders. I've tried talking to both of my parents about my weight, but they keep reassuring me that I am in a healthy weight for my age. They then get angry if I press on, and I get in trouble.

I've stopped eating sweets, drinking fizzy drinks and all that. I am not allowed to exercise though. I attend swimming practice weekly (every Monday) but it's only for 30 mins. I sometimes (rarely) go on bike rides but they are not very long.

My family make fun of me if I work out in my room. My school doesn't care, my friends don't either.

I've been called a fatass by one of my friends multiple times, and my other friends don't seem to care. What should I do??????
Last edited by Amy 12; 1 week ago
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999tigger
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(Original post by Amy 12)
Hi everyone!
My name is Amy and this is a desperate plea on behalf of me. I need so much help right now, but I don't know where to find it. I'm too young to be on this website (12) but I don't know where else to turn. Please, please, please understand.

I am overweight. I come from a family of obese/overweight people, so, naturally, I am overweight too.

Puberty hit me early, and badly. I have what's considered the worst of it. Acne, periods, voice cracks, an incredibly flat chest and a lot of random weight. I've always been an overweight child but it's been so terrible lately.

My brothers' and sister eat a lot, so I am given quite large helpings. If I do not eat everything in these helpings, my dad worries, asks me if I don't like food and alludes to eating disorders. I've tried talking to both of my parents about my weight, but they keep reassuring me that I am in a healthy weight for my age. They then get angry if I press on, and I get in trouble.

I've stopped eating sweets, drinking fizzy drinks and all that. I am not allowed to exercise though. I attend swimming practice weekly (every Monday) but it's only for 30 mins. I sometimes (rarely) go on bike rides but they are not very long.

My family make fun of me if I work out in my room. My school doesn't care, my friends don't either.

I've been called a fatass by one of my friends multiple times, and my other friends don't seem to care. What should I do??????
I doubt you are that overweight and you have to treat dieting carefully at such a young age. You are still growing.
What is your weight, height and age?

Not being allowed to exercise is silly. You can just walk places or join a sports team at school.
I suggest going to see the GP and ask to get the advice of a dietician or nutritionist.
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Amy 12
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(Original post by 999tigger)
I doubt you are that overweight and you have to treat dieting carefully at such a young age. You are still growing.
What is your weight, height and age?

Not being allowed to exercise is silly. You can just walk places or join a sports team at school.
I suggest going to see the GP and ask to get the advice of a dietician or nutritionist.
I am definitely overweight - 5'3 and around 10 stone 5 pounds (I don't look too fat, and I've already dropped a few pounds from not eating junk food. Though this method is working, it's not enough in my opinion. A healthy weight would be somewhere between 9 stone and 10 stone in my opinion).
My parents would not take me to the GP, and I am not allowed to go by myself. I understand dieting is a touchy subject but I feel if I got an exercise regime going and I wasn't forced to eat so much (my parents serve food on quite big plates) I'd be able to drop a few pounds to full into a healthy BMI range.
Most places are too far to walk, too. They also wouldn't let me walk around - they tell me they trust me, but they don't trust the people around me, so generally, I'm not allowed out by myself.
Thank you so much for the reply, though!!

Edit: I should probably clarify, this is not a mistake or misreading of the scales, I have tried this multiple times and most heed similar results.
Last edited by Amy 12; 6 days ago
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JaseyB
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Get out on that bike, if there is a safe track or greenway near to you then use that to cylce along, if not try to find quiet roads be safe, and just ride them, if you live on a "block" ride around the block several times, that way you won't be far form home if something should happen. 1 way to lose weight via cycling is to increase the intensity, so once you are used to riding around somewhere famaliar like a block try to ride faster or harder.

Check out youtube videos for squats, lunges and pushups (for girls) you can do these literally anyplace anytime. If you don't have 1 already you could get a skipping rope/wire these are really cheap and again another form of exercise you can do literally anyplace(outside) anytime. Don't go mad on the exercises though just try to stick to a routine twice a week.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Amy 12)
I am definitely overweight - 5'3 and around 10 stone 5 pounds (I don't look too fat, and I've already dropped a few pounds from not eating junk food. Though this method is working, it's not enough in my opinion. A healthy weight would be somewhere between 9 stone and 10 stone in my opinion).
My parents would not take me to the GP, and I am not allowed to go by myself. I understand dieting is a touchy subject but I feel if I got an exercise regime going and I wasn't forced to eat so much (my parents serve food on quite big plates) I'd be able to drop a few pounds to full into a healthy BMI range.
Most places are too far to walk, too. They also wouldn't let me walk around - they tell me they trust me, but they don't trust the people around me, so generally, I'm not allowed out by myself.
Thank you so much for the reply, though!!

Edit: I should probably clarify, this is not a mistake or misreading of the scales, I have tried this multiple times and most heed similar results.
When I said I'd hit the gym to get big (I'm a guy), my family laughed at me. Now I'm lifting weights that they can't comprehend. People will try to put you down, this is the nature of most people. If you're 10st 5lbs, and you think 10st is a healthy weight, then you only need to lose another 5lbs, which you can easily do. It is impressive that at 12 you have such a conscious awareness of health, many girls do, but for the wrong reasons. It is commendable.

Just carry on doing whatever exercise it is in your room (don't see why you're not allowed. What's stopping you?). Do weight lifting as well if possible, building a bit of muscle won't give you a manly physique, but it will help boost your metabolism that will help burn more kcal when you're not being physically active (do bodyweight press ups, squats, handstand press ups against the wall, tricep bench dips etc.). If anything, it will make you look more toned. I know it's hard to not let others' opinions affect you, but learn to ignore them. Obesity makes you a high risk for most diseases, so you've got the right state of mind. Just keep at it. And remember, it's better to lose weight gradually over time than to make radical changes over night, as your body needs time to adjust, otherwise it'll go into shock. Just be patient, you're only 12, you've got many years to sort yourself out before you get into any real trouble. 9-10st is a healthy weight for your height I agree, just don't go down the other route and lose too much weight.

If your family put too much food on your plate, then eat what you can, and leave the rest. Nobody can force food down your throat. If your dad asks if you're okay, tell him 'I'm fine, but I won't be if I keep shoving more food down my throat'. And do more bike riding, go up hill and cycle as fast as you can. Set yourself goals, such as riding 3 miles in 10 minutes etc.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by JaseyB)
Get out on that bike, if there is a safe track or greenway near to you then use that to cylce along, if not try to find quiet roads be safe, and just ride them, if you live on a "block" ride around the block several times, that way you won't be far form home if something should happen. 1 way to lose weight via cycling is to increase the intensity, so once you are used to riding around somewhere famaliar like a block try to ride faster or harder.

Check out youtube videos for squats, lunges and pushups (for girls) you can do these literally anyplace anytime. If you don't have 1 already you could get a skipping rope/wire these are really cheap and again another form of exercise you can do literally anyplace(outside) anytime. Don't go mad on the exercises though just try to stick to a routine twice a week.
Thank you for the advice!!
We do have small cycling friendly paths round my house, that lead to other places. My family isn't really keen on the idea of me going out by myself, but they said I could do it along with some friends. I'd have to try get them involved then, too.
If not, I'd have to go out with another family member, who thinks it's weird I want to exercise so much. I don't see their point, but I don't say much about it. It doesn't seem to get me anywhere.
I will try invest in a skipping rope! It seems like a good idea, and I do have the money to buy one right now.

Again, thank you so much for the advice!
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Amy 12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the advice!!
We do have small cycling friendly paths round my house, that lead to other places. My family isn't really keen on the idea of me going out by myself, but they said I could do it along with some friends. I'd have to try get them involved then, too.
If not, I'd have to go out with another family member, who thinks it's weird I want to exercise so much. I don't see their point, but I don't say much about it. It doesn't seem to get me anywhere.
I will try invest in a skipping rope! It seems like a good idea, and I do have the money to buy one right now.

Again, thank you so much for the advice!
Accidentally posted anonymously
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the advice!!
We do have small cycling friendly paths round my house, that lead to other places. My family isn't really keen on the idea of me going out by myself, but they said I could do it along with some friends. I'd have to try get them involved then, too.
If not, I'd have to go out with another family member, who thinks it's weird I want to exercise so much. I don't see their point, but I don't say much about it. It doesn't seem to get me anywhere.
I will try invest in a skipping rope! It seems like a good idea, and I do have the money to buy one right now.

Again, thank you so much for the advice!
skipping is amazing for cardio. although as your goal is fat loss, you have to make sure you don't eat any more than you might feel peckish after skipping. if you do, rip the caloric deficit
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Amy 12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
When I said I'd hit the gym to get big (I'm a guy), my family laughed at me. Now I'm lifting weights that they can't comprehend. People will try to put you down, this is the nature of most people. If you're 10st 5lbs, and you think 10st is a healthy weight, then you only need to lose another 5lbs, which you can easily do. It is impressive that at 12 you have such a conscious awareness of health, many girls do, but for the wrong reasons. It is commendable.

Just carry on doing whatever exercise it is in your room (don't see why you're not allowed. What's stopping you?). Do weight lifting as well if possible, building a bit of muscle won't give you a manly physique, but it will help boost your metabolism that will help burn more kcal when you're not being physically active (do bodyweight press ups, squats, handstand press ups against the wall, tricep bench dips etc.). If anything, it will make you look more toned. I know it's hard to not let others' opinions affect you, but learn to ignore them. Obesity makes you a high risk for most diseases, so you've got the right state of mind. Just keep at it. And remember, it's better to lose weight gradually over time than to make radical changes over night, as your body needs time to adjust, otherwise it'll go into shock. Just be patient, you're only 12, you've got many years to sort yourself out before you get into any real trouble. 9-10st is a healthy weight for your height I agree, just don't go down the other route and lose too much weight.

If your family put too much food on your plate, then eat what you can, and leave the rest. Nobody can force food down your throat. If your dad asks if you're okay, tell him 'I'm fine, but I won't be if I keep shoving more food down my throat'. And do more bike riding, go up hill and cycle as fast as you can. Set yourself goals, such as riding 3 miles in 10 minutes etc.
Thank you so much. Honestly, the first part really brightened my spirits. I've always been teased about my weight (wanting to lose it and having it) so even this little bit of praise means so much to me.
I'm not sure what it is against exercise, but my family seem to have an overall negative view of it. I am currently doing mainly squats and planks when my family are home (they don't make noise, really) and when my family aren't (most days) I do squats, planks, mountain-climbers, star jumps, squat jumps, burpees (nothing too hard, and not too much.)
On Monday's I have swimming with simple stretches after; Tuesday I do simple squats and stretches after I have P.E; Wednesday is a rest day; Thursday is more vigorous activity; Friday is mainly squats and planks; Saturday is a bike ride or simple stretches, planks and squats; Sunday is a rest day.) Since I don't know many other exercises that don't require jumping (jumping makes loud noises on the ground, I'm on the top floor when I do this) I don't do much exercise on the days I have not much to do. I do these all for around 20-30 minutes a day, depending on my homework, what time I get back, etc.
I will add on your suggestions!! Thank you!

My main goal is to just be healthy. When all comes down to it, I want to be in a healthy weight, eating healthy things and doing healthy things.

I share a room with my sister, so when she walks in, she likes to tease me, and some of my family join in. It puts me down a lot since I am quite close to them.

Sorry if this reply is too lengthy and/or a mess. I don't get to talk about this much, and I'm so glad I reached out. Thank you so much for the advice!!
Last edited by Amy 12; 6 days ago
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Amy 12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
skipping is amazing for cardio. although as your goal is fat loss, you have to make sure you don't eat any more than you might feel peckish after skipping. if you do, rip the caloric deficit
Alright, thank you for the heads up! Any suggestions for snacks I could eat during the day if needed? I don't normally eat other than at breakfast (cereal) lunch (soup/sandwich) and dinner (normally pasta with chicken), but when I do, it's usually fruit.
Also, these meals sound kind of healthy, but the portions are massive. Except from breakfast and lunch, which I make myself. Dinners are always huge and have an unhealthy kick to them.

I normally eat all of it because there's obvious silent judgement around the table if you do not eat all of it, and my dad always alludes to anorexia or other eating disorders when I do not eat all my dinner. This makes me uncomfortable, but there's not much I can do about it.
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Anonymous #2
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In general, I don't think I do enough exercise though. It's mostly squats and planks, which are a start, yes, but I think for "calmer" exercise I could use something more.

I have also just recently started on this, any words of advice will be helpful!!
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Amy 12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
In general, I don't think I do enough exercise though. It's mostly squats and planks, which are a start, yes, but I think for "calmer" exercise I could use something more.

I have also just recently started on this, any words of advice will be helpful!!
Ugh another accidental anonymous
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Amy 12)
Thank you so much. Honestly, the first part really brightened my spirits. I've always been teased about my weight (wanting to lose it and having it) so even this little bit of praise means so much to me.
I'm not sure what it is against exercise, but my family seem to have an overall negative view of it. I am currently doing mainly squats and planks when my family are home (they don't make noise, really) and when my family aren't (most days) I do squats, planks, mountain-climbers, star jumps, squat jumps, burpees (nothing too hard, and not too much.)
On Monday's I have swimming with simple stretches after; Tuesday I do simple squats and stretches after I have P.E; Wednesday is a rest day; Thursday is more vigorous activity; Friday is mainly squats and planks; Saturday is a bike ride or simple stretches, planks and squats; Sunday is a rest day.) Since I don't know many other exercises that don't require jumping (jumping makes loud noises on the ground, I'm on the top floor when I do this) I don't do much exercise on the days I have not much to do. I do these all for around 20-30 minutes a day, depending on my homework, what time I get back, etc.
I will add on your suggestions!! Thank you!

My main goal is to just be healthy. When all comes down to it, I want to be in a healthy weight, eating healthy things and doing healthy things.

I share a room with my sister, so when she walks in, she likes to tease me, and some of my family join in. It puts me down a lot since I am quite close to them.

Sorry if this reply is too lengthy and/or a mess. I don't get to talk about this much, and I'm so glad I reached out. Thank you so much for the advice!!
It's good that you're talking about this, don't hesitate to share your concerns, as this is what we are here for, to help you. I genuinely meant it when I said I was impressed. If more youth were as conscious as you, they'd have far less problems in the future. Leaders do what others cannot. So be a leader, and an example for everybody. They will continue to hate until they see the results, then they will follow.

Break down all your meals for me. Weigh it out if you can. Count the kcal, or if you give a good enough description, I'll be able to work out the kcal for you (also include oil for cooking etc, do you use a few tbs, or do your parents pour it in). Bear in mind that volume of food doesn't determine whether you gain/lose weight. Kcal is what determines that. E.g. half a pack of roasted salted peanuts (100g) from ASDA will get you 615kcal. But 100g of apples will only give you 100kcal, which is 2 apples. But 2 apples is far more volume than 100g of peanuts. Kcal is the most important that. 1 small Maryland cookie is 56 kcal (the red packet lol). You'd have to run/walk a mile to burn that 56 kcal off. So kcal is the biggest factor in weight loss, not exercise.

The volume of my food is very low, so it seems like nothing on a plate, but I consume 3000kcal+ per day

If you can work out the kcal, then I can give you a rough idea of how much to eat, and also links to workout videos that will help you. I can give you examples of body weight exercises you can do to help you build a programme. You can also be creative. Fill your rucksack with stuff, and do squats and press ups with the rucksack on.

Btw, I'm posting anonymously as I haven't been on in a while so I prefer to maintain a ghost.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Cryoraptor)
Okay, you had me somewhat hooked until this one. Now it's obvious you're part of the anon trolls that are flooding this site. Nice one.

Not to mention your use of language is very sketchy for a 12 year old. That and a 12 year old wouldn't say their real age or advertise it in their profile name. Nice try mate.

For the 5th or 6th time now, people need to stop being so gullible on this website. Use your common sense: would a 12 year old tell everyone their real age, or speak so fluently? Probably not. When you see posts like these, THINK ABOUT THEM. I'm getting seriously bored of these trolls now.
But you think everyone is a troll
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Mustafa0605
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I don’t think you need to be this stressed, you don’t need a strict diet. You should avoid very greasy food when you can, maybe eat more vegetables and over time you should naturally turn healthy weight.
Last edited by Mustafa0605; 6 days ago
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Amy 12
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(Original post by Cryoraptor)
Okay, you had me somewhat hooked until this one. Now it's obvious you're part of the anon trolls that are flooding this site. Nice one.

Not to mention your use of language is very sketchy for a 12 year old. That and a 12 year old wouldn't say their real age or advertise it in their profile name. Nice try mate.

For the 5th or 6th time now, people need to stop being so gullible on this website. Use your common sense: would a 12 year old tell everyone their real age, or speak so fluently? Probably not. When you see posts like these, THINK ABOUT THEM. I'm getting seriously bored of these trolls now.
I just thought it'd be important to disclose my age if that's necessary. I know different ages may link to different weights. I'm new to this website, very new, so sometimes I do accidentally post anonymously. May I ask what's sketchy about the way I write? Am I too formal? I get those remarks a lot from teachers and other students in school.
I'm sorry my formality comes off as sketchy. I've always practiced writing fluently and formally, so that I can score higher on tests and assessments. Again, I'm sorry if this came off as a misconception.
I suppose I cannot prove to you that I am 12, but to everyone who has helped so far, thank you. I don't see why I'd want to troll, but I'm genuinely looking for help and advice. I have nowhere else to turn, my logic is that age may correlate to weight, and I'm very sorry if I do come off as a troll. I don't know how to prove to you that I am a 12 year old without sharing too much personal information, but I am.
Again, I'm sorry.
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Amy 12
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(Original post by Mustafa0605)
I don’t think you need to be this stressed, you don’t need a strict diet. You should avoid very greasy food when you can, maybe eat more vegetables and over time you should naturally turn healthy weight.
Alright, thank you. I am certainly not planning on going into a strict diet, I just want to eat healthier. Thank you for the advice, though! I'll try hard to avoid greasy foods, definitely. Not sure how easy that'll be in my home, however, most foods we eat are particularly greasy. However, I'll definitely try eat more vegetables! I'll have to try convince my parents to buy some on the weekly shop.
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Amy 12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's good that you're talking about this, don't hesitate to share your concerns, as this is what we are here for, to help you. I genuinely meant it when I said I was impressed. If more youth were as conscious as you, they'd have far less problems in the future. Leaders do what others cannot. So be a leader, and an example for everybody. They will continue to hate until they see the results, then they will follow.

Break down all your meals for me. Weigh it out if you can. Count the kcal, or if you give a good enough description, I'll be able to work out the kcal for you (also include oil for cooking etc, do you use a few tbs, or do your parents pour it in). Bear in mind that volume of food doesn't determine whether you gain/lose weight. Kcal is what determines that. E.g. half a pack of roasted salted peanuts (100g) from ASDA will get you 615kcal. But 100g of apples will only give you 100kcal, which is 2 apples. But 2 apples is far more volume than 100g of peanuts. Kcal is the most important that. 1 small Maryland cookie is 56 kcal (the red packet lol). You'd have to run/walk a mile to burn that 56 kcal off. So kcal is the biggest factor in weight loss, not exercise.

The volume of my food is very low, so it seems like nothing on a plate, but I consume 3000kcal+ per day

If you can work out the kcal, then I can give you a rough idea of how much to eat, and also links to workout videos that will help you. I can give you examples of body weight exercises you can do to help you build a programme. You can also be creative. Fill your rucksack with stuff, and do squats and press ups with the rucksack on.

Btw, I'm posting anonymously as I haven't been on in a while so I prefer to maintain a ghost.
Thank you again for the replies. I'm really overwhelmed by the support. I honestly have nowhere to turn in real life, and this encouragement from complete strangers is amazing. I'm really grateful. As another user pointed out, I do write quite formally and fluently. I hope this remark doesn't prevent you from helping me. I really am struggling. Getting there, though!

I can give an average description right now, actually, as we essentially have similar meals each day.

Breakfast is a small amount of cereal with some milk - not much. Cereal is normally Cheerios or granola - depends on what we have in the house.

Lunch is normally a sandwich, a piece of fruit, a (small) chocolate bar and a packet of crisps, as lunch is normally dictated by my father, and even when I make it, he puts extras in for me. I do wish I had more healthy things in my lunch, but beggars can't be choosers. I half the chocolate bar with friends, and share some (not all) of the crisps out. Dinner is where things aren't the best, in my opinion. 2 large packs of mince (I don't know the weight, maybe 500-750g each?) With two 350g sauce and 2 packets of pasta (maybe 500g?). This is split between four people, however, usually with a ton of cheese and 4 packs of garlic bread
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Emiluu
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When you say your family make fun of you, I really hope it’s not because you are trying to be healthy? That is a good thing, I too have struggled with food however I am a healthy weight currently though my diet is horrific and is probably damaging my health invisibly. In my case it’s very much my choice so it’s my responsibility to change that, but your family really seems like they need to change for your sake as with their support this would be much easier for you. The one way to lose weight is to eat less calories than your burn, though it’s generally advised not to go below 1200 kcal per day, and these calories should come from healthy nutritious food otherwise you’ll still lose weight but you will be damaging your health and you will feel ill all the time.
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Amy 12)
Thank you again for the replies. I'm really overwhelmed by the support. I honestly have nowhere to turn in real life, and this encouragement from complete strangers is amazing. I'm really grateful. As another user pointed out, I do write quite formally and fluently. I hope this remark doesn't prevent you from helping me. I really am struggling. Getting there, though!

I can give an average description right now, actually, as we essentially have similar meals each day.

Breakfast is a small amount of cereal with some milk - not much. Cereal is normally Cheerios or granola - depends on what we have in the house.

Lunch is normally a sandwich, a piece of fruit, a (small) chocolate bar and a packet of crisps, as lunch is normally dictated by my father, and even when I make it, he puts extras in for me. I do wish I had more healthy things in my lunch, but beggars can't be choosers. I half the chocolate bar with friends, and share some (not all) of the crisps out. Dinner is where things aren't the best, in my opinion. 2 large packs of mince (I don't know the weight, maybe 500-750g each?) With two 350g sauce and 2 packets of pasta (maybe 500g?). This is split between four people, however, usually with a ton of cheese and 4 packs of garlic bread
Ludicrous. Absolutely ludicrous.
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