The Student Room Group

i hate university

its been over a month since ive been at uni and i am so unhappy.
usually im quite a sociable person and i like talking to people so i thought it would be easy for me to make new friends but there hasnt been anyone i have really clicked with.... i have only two of my flatmates that i can talk to but thats about it. i havent made any friends on my course and i feel so lonely.

every time i go out and get drunk with all my flatmates i always regret it so much because i act like an idiot and embarrass myself a lot... i can tell my flatmates are also getting annoyed by me when im drunk and i just feel super bad and embarrassed by it. i get if it was just once or twice its something i can learn from and move on but its happening every single time and i feel like i just get worse. i think i probably need to stop going out. and on top of that ive had drunk one night stands MULTIPLE TIMES with the same flatmate and its super awkward whenever i see him. its to the point where i start avoiding him but hes always with the other flatmates so i hardly get to see them anymore either. i can tell they dont really like me anyway... they've all created such a close bond without me and i feel left out.

ive been so unusually tired as well even if i get a decent amount of sleep the night before. this means i hardly get any work done because id rather just sleep and ive already missed so many of my lectures. im so behind on my work to the point where i feel so overwhelmed with how much i need to catch up with but i feel like i cant be bothered and i just let the work keep piling up every day. i hate that i feel this way because im paying a lot of money to be here and im being so lazy with my work.

dont get me wrong i dont want to drop out of uni and i know that this course is right for me but i already feel so mentally drained and i just dont know what to do. i feel so sad and lonely.

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Try to get help to stop drinking. It seems that's the biggest issue.
Reply 2
oh hon,
hang in there okay!
to help with the situation maybe don't drink as much for a little while? i am sure you aren't annoying in the slightest but take some time to yourself and treat yourself. no one should feel that drained and stressed so you should talk to your family.

to make friends (they dont even need to be people you like tbh): just saying hi, asking to borrow a pen, i struggle making friends too but once you've done it the struggle is over trust me.

motivational to catch up: make a study timetable, have set times with what you need to do. i would defo recommend thinking about where you are now and where you want to get to because trust me it motivates you so so much.
start emailing your lecturers and telling others you are struggling to keep up so they can lend you stuff because this is your future okay. take this matter into ur hands because at the end of the day it is your life.

dont be sad dont be lonely, pm me if you feel like that okay
this might be a tough pill to swallow but QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOUSELF AND CHANGE THINGS
i hope everything works out x
Are you close to mom? Or dad? They are really the best ones to talk to forget online advice... have you tried going home every weekend?
Sorry to hear this btw. I don't know what i can say on the web to make you feel good. Look it's night time.... drink a large glass of water and just rest...... don't worry about things this night.....

First thing i would do tomorrow though is email your personal tutor ....so ask them to meet you immediately... they should be able to give advice and refer you to student services....

Also as you sound really depressed .. I'm guessing it may been affecting your attendance and coursework so far...... if you miss lectures, do you have means to catch up? E.g are full lecture notes really available etc

Just go see your tutor let everything out....about sadness and flatmates ...maybe they can help in some way with alternative living arrangements

Second thing you should do is call parents, or any family member ..because you sound depressed....i think only your family can help you out with this .....and close friends from before uni

And id the drinking like an addiction you think ? Or is it just you happen to drink too much on nights out? Please tell people you're sinking so they can lift you up.. don't stay silent as it will only get worse if you don't tell anyone
Reply 5
Original post by febreze
oh hon,
hang in there okay!
to help with the situation maybe don't drink as much for a little while? i am sure you aren't annoying in the slightest but take some time to yourself and treat yourself. no one should feel that drained and stressed so you should talk to your family.

to make friends (they dont even need to be people you like tbh): just saying hi, asking to borrow a pen, i struggle making friends too but once you've done it the struggle is over trust me.

motivational to catch up: make a study timetable, have set times with what you need to do. i would defo recommend thinking about where you are now and where you want to get to because trust me it motivates you so so much.
start emailing your lecturers and telling others you are struggling to keep up so they can lend you stuff because this is your future okay. take this matter into ur hands because at the end of the day it is your life.

dont be sad dont be lonely, pm me if you feel like that okay
this might be a tough pill to swallow but QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOUSELF AND CHANGE THINGS
i hope everything works out x

thank you so much, i appreciate this response and i will take your advice x
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry to hear this btw. I don't know what i can say on the web to make you feel good. Look it's night time.... drink a large glass of water and just rest...... don't worry about things this night.....

First thing i would do tomorrow though is email your personal tutor ....so ask them to meet you immediately... they should be able to give advice and refer you to student services....

Also as you sound really depressed .. I'm guessing it may been affecting your attendance and coursework so far...... if you miss lectures, do you have means to catch up? E.g are full lecture notes really available etc

Just go see your tutor let everything out....about sadness and flatmates ...maybe they can help in some way with alternative living arrangements

Second thing you should do is call parents, or any family member ..because you sound depressed....i think only your family can help you out with this .....and close friends from before uni

And id the drinking like an addiction you think ? Or is it just you happen to drink too much on nights out? Please tell people you're sinking so they can lift you up.. don't stay silent as it will only get worse if you don't tell anyone

the drinking thing isnt an addiction. i just so happen to be such a lightweight and i always go over my limit.
thank you so much for this though, i will talk to my friends and family x
Original post by Anonymous
the drinking thing isnt an addiction. i just so happen to be such a lightweight and i always go over my limit.
thank you so much for this though, i will talk to my friends and family x

No problem op.... still worried about you catching up though... do you have access to content of lectures you have missed? Very important.....!!! Do not overlook this. .
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
No problem op.... still worried about you catching up though... do you have access to content of lectures you have missed? Very important.....!!! Do not overlook this. .

theres powerpoints and recordings that are put up online after lectures... i will definitely try catch up with everything !!
Original post by Anonymous
theres powerpoints and recordings that are put up online after lectures... i will definitely try catch up with everything !!

Okay cool....why are you awake?
Original post by Anonymous
Okay cool....why are you awake?

hahaha could say the same for you. idk i just feel like i cant sleep cause of the stress im feeling atm
Original post by Anonymous
hahaha could say the same for you. idk i just feel like i cant sleep cause of the stress im feeling atm

What are you stressed about this uni thing? I usually don't sleep early.. does your course have courseworks so far? How are you managing with that?
Really sorry to hear about your situation :/ but remember it’s only been a month, so hang in there!
I just want to say that I’m literally in the same position as you in terms of the whole friendship thing so you’re really not alone. I feel like a lot of people feel this way but not many people speak up about it.
Original post by Anonymous
What are you stressed about this uni thing? I usually don't sleep early.. does your course have courseworks so far? How are you managing with that?

i have a bunch of assignments, one of which is due in this week... and a test next week. my course is really content heavy which is why i feel so overwhelmed by the workload and i feel like im wasting time when i should be revising or doing my assignment
Hey hun, I know this probably won't help your situation but I kinda hate uni too. Making friends is so hard here, you can see the people in your course and exchange pleasantries but that's it. The coursework is hard and the course has very limited contact hrs so the work is all to me and the more and more I get into the course the less motivated I am. It's rlly not good. But hang in there I'm sure we both can do it, other people have felt this too I'm sure we can push on and love it as much as they have
Original post by Anonymous
i have a bunch of assignments, one of which is due in this week... and a test next week. my course is really content heavy which is why i feel so overwhelmed by the workload and i feel like im wasting time when i should be revising or doing my assignment

Contact personal tutor... sometimes it's good to tell people like that you're not ok......so you can get support....... do you think you can pull through? Are things manageable? If answer is NO, let me know so i can direct you on what steps to take next
Original post by Anonymous
Hey hun, I know this probably won't help your situation but I kinda hate uni too. Making friends is so hard here, you can see the people in your course and exchange pleasantries but that's it. The coursework is hard and the course has very limited contact hrs so the work is all to me and the more and more I get into the course the less motivated I am. It's rlly not good. But hang in there I'm sure we both can do it, other people have felt this too I'm sure we can push on and love it as much as they have

thank you, it does make me feel a bit better knowing im not the only one. im sorry youre also feeling like this but im sure you are right, we can both get through it and things will get better x
Original post by Anonymous
Contact personal tutor... sometimes it's good to tell people like that you're not ok......so you can get support....... do you think you can pull through? Are things manageable? If answer is NO, let me know so i can direct you on what steps to take next

i really appreciate your concern. i think i should be able to pull through... if not i will let you know
Reply 19
I'm sorry to hear that. I know a lot of people can have trouble with the ~transitional period~ (that's just what I hear other people call it). Have you considered getting any help? A councillor should be able to help you with issues around motivation, at the very least, and there's nothing wrong with needing a bit of extra help

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