SD: 2 months in and I feel anxious Watch
I’m about 2 months into my PGCE and this week so far I feel like it’s my first week of being in the classroom. I’m on a schools direct program and I just want to burst into tears everyday day. I don’t know what’s going on.
I did teach for two weeks alone when my teacher was absent and by the second week I seemed to be coping well. Now my teacher is back and I feel this sense of almost imposter -“ness”.
Like should I even be teaching? Is my subject knowledge good enough? Do the children understand what I’m teaching? Why don’t they respond to me as well as their class teacher?
I think all that plus the assignments are just making me tense!
I don’t know. I’m doubting myself.
Does anyone else feel this? How do you cope? What have to done to “get over” this??
The kids aren't going to respond to you like their usual class teacher - that teacher's going to know them inside and out and they'll have a presence as an experienced teacher that you (and me!) don't have yet. Whilst this isn't amazingly helpful advice, this feeling will pass and then you'll feel it again and then it'll pass and on and on. I go through waves constantly at the moment.
To help you get over it, I would try and answer your own questions! Ask the kids questions, check their books - you'll be able to see if they understand. I presume you're teaching Primary? Then I'm almost CERTAIN your subject knowledge is good enough! Maybe you need to brush up on certain specifics (what's a phoneme!?), but you're going to know more than 11 year olds
Try and remain positive!
You want to do your best and that is fine but good enough is fine for teaching. Are they learning? Did anyone die?
Well there we go. You will have good lessons and bad lessons and you are on an enormous learning curve. I'm three years in and still learning. Be kind to yourself.