Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#1
I'll be living with three of my university flatmates next year and I'm excited because they're amazing and I get along with them the most out of everyone in the flat, but I'm also kinda worried because I'm shy and those three are so much more confident around each other than I am, they all act like close friends. I don't want to be the only person in the house who isn't as close to them as they are with each other... I'm very shy so it takes me a long time to open up to anyone, I was very quiet during freshers but now I'm pretty good at talking to my flatmates, especially the three I'll be sharing a house with next year. But still, even though I can talk to them pretty well now I'm still too shy to be completely myself, so I find it completely impossible to joke around like they do... I'm just too polite around them, apparently they find me really nice, but I'd love to be more than just "the nice girl"... I want to joke around and have fun with them like they all do, I just don't know how. With my friends back from school, it took me years to fully open up to them and I'm just happy they actually stayed around for so long, I used to be really nervous around them. But now I'm super confident with them, it just took forever... To be honest, I'm surprised with how confident I am around my flatmates, from freshers up till now I've improved a lot and now I can talk to them pretty easily, I'm still really shy compared to them though... When I hear that lots of people are in the communal area, I usually hide in my room with my hand on the handle debating whether I should leave and say hi or not... I'm dead silent in big groups, I just can't jump into other people's conversations! I'm way to nervous to do that, and when I hear lots of my flatmates outside my door talking in the communal area I can't bring myself to join them. If they've already started their conversations I hate the idea of just walking in and somehow jumping in when I've missed the start of the conversations, especially in big groups... When theres nobody there its fine because I can just go in the communal area by myself for an bit until someone comes in and then I just talk to them. I'm a lot better talking to just one person, because it means I'd have been there for the whole of the conversation rather than just joining in an already going one. Also, I can't start a conversation so I'm usually just silent until someone starts talking to me first, after that I can keep a conversation going for a while. And when theres only one person theres more chance that they'll start conversations with me! I just hope I get better at talking to more than one person before house sharing next year... I'll probably find I'm more comfortable anyway if theres only the four of us, but I still need to improve. And I need to be more fun... Because right now I'm way too polite and boring! But I don't actually know what to say thats funny or anything without sounding awkward like I'm trying too hard... These three flatmates specifically are so good at joking around and being sarcastic and stuff, if I'm going to live with them I want to be like that too! They're all really lovely to me and always make sure to check if I'm feeling comfortable when we go out to the occasional club, they know I'm just really shy so they;re really nice to me, but I'd love to get closer to them more as friends where we can just joke around and relax rather than just simply chatting nicely all the time about what we did today and what we'll be eating later etc. Honestly I'm really happy they actually asked me of all people to be their fourth housemate. They're all so confident and outgoing with lots of friends, I was surprised they still had room for me at all. But they asked me if I was free to be the fourth person living with them next year, so that means a lot. They definitely try a lot to get me to come out of my shell, always including me and stuff. Its been really helpful for my anxieties tbh, I've really improved a lot around them. I'm still more quiet around my other flatmates though, but getting better. It just worries me a bit that those three are so much closer to each other than I am, I really want to be more chill around them but when they're all talking to each other I find it impossible to just jump in randomly and join the conversation. Talking in groups confuses me I just suck at it... So they'll all be laughing and joking around while I'm just stood wondering what's appropriate to say that won't sound awkward. Especially if they've been talking for ages and I haven't said a word, just suddenly saying something after a long time into their conversation would be so weird...Besides I never know what to say anyway... All I can usually think of for random conversations is "haha omg really?" "thats amazing" or "wow haha ok then" (me attempting to be somewhat sassy like them? Kinda bad though... Everything I say is just weird), I don't ever know how to react when I'm told something other than the same old "wow really?" Like what else am I supposed to say? In a conversation my mind will just go completely blank so these area all I have to say...
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bimbibap
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Report 6 days ago
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this is the sweetest thing I've read, well honestly I'm no expert but I'd say the main thing to do is be yourself. I know it's cliche ,but in situations like this a lot of people feel the need to change their behaviour drastically to emulate other people. You don't need to do that. They clearly like this version of you or they wouldn't of asked you to be their flatmate. Find the funny in the mundane is big one, a lot of talk between people is just a load of faff. Throughout the day try and find at least 5 funny things that you happened, it doesn't have to be a lie or over the top the funniest jokes are ones that are very close to normal everyday experiences and tell your friends
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