The Student Room Group

Is this guy i met on tinder using me?

So i met this guy on tinder we get along v well ive known him like 6 weeks we aren’t actually together but just casually seeing eachother. About 2 weeks ago he said his family issues were getting worse which i already knew about from the beginning.That same day he came to mine because his family was just arguing and i let him sleep at mine and then the next day i let him stay again and ect ect he’s stayed w me for 2 weeks now and he did go home and stuff but always sleeps at mine. It’s not like i don’t want him to stay w me it’s just i feel it’s his escape from his house and i don’t know if he actually likes me or is just using me? i don’t really want to ask him atm because he’s going thru a lot and i don’t wanna start questioning him and making him feel unwelcome
Not enough info. It doesn't seem like he's using you though.
It is very difficult to tell if he is using you or not and I don't believe anyone here can give you the answer your looking for.
But, that being said, look for signs. Is he attentive to you? Does he care about what is happening in your day? Assuming you're living independently away from your family does he help you with basic household chores? Does he have a job and contribute at least to your relationship?
So, I think you should look for him to be attentive to you and what is happening in your life not just the drama in his own, look for him to have a job where he contributes to food or buying household items on a regular basis. If he doesn't have a job is he allowed to stay at yours and just play video games or watch Netflix all day? BIG RED FLAG if that is what is happening.
He's been at yours for a couple of weeks..... how do you feel about his being there full time? If you like it and it is working than carry on. I would probably let another 2ish weeks go by then ask him to start helping with rent if it is going to be a more permanent place for him. Don't go to him judgey just calmly say since you've lived her e(however long) it would be really helpful if you helped with rent and household expenses. IF he is there because he genuinely needs a safe place he will gladly help how he can. If he complains then that is another BIG RED FLAG.
He may give you a sob story about not being able to work etc. Don't allow that - if he is interested in a relationship with you and is staying at yours because he likes you and is getting away from a bad situation he will. not. mind. contributing.
IF, however, you are not comfortable with his staying there and he is overstaying his welcome then you should look into squatters rights. That is the right someone has to stay where they are if they've lived there a certain amount of time. This may not be a thing where you live but it does carry weight in some places.
If you think he is being genuine but you'd prefer he not continue to move more stuff in seemingly to lead to a more permanent situation then you need to be up front and let him know that you didn't mind helping him get away from a bad situation but you won't be able to be a permanent home for him. Let him know you very much value your independence and after (however long) he needs to find somewhere else to live. This might put an end to your relationship but if you sense he is using you (no job, not contributing, not really seeming interested in you minus the physical relationship) you don't want him sticking around anyway. Good luck!
(edited 4 years ago)
I'd say yes. If he has problems he should sort them out himself, h can't be depending on you already.

Quick Reply

Latest