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Anonymous #1
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I'm currently in year 11 and for some reason I never seem to get invited anywhere. At school I hang out with a group of people, who, when I'm with seem to be genuinely good friends. For some reason though, when they go out they never invite me. I's not as if they can't contact me or like I'm following them. I mean the come up to em and say Hey etc. I just don't understand why people don't invite me out. Any explanations, or advise? Next year I'm starting sixthform and I'm worried I may fall in the same scenario.
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PoisonDonna
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How about you try to organise something and invite them out? That way they might see that you do actually want to go out. Do you do a lot of other stuff outside of school? They might think you're too busy of something.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PoisonDonna)
How about you try to organise something and invite them out? That way they might see that you do actually want to go out. Do you do a lot of other stuff outside of school? They might think you're too busy of something.
I try to organise as much stuff as possible, but people try to avoid coming etc. People are aware that a lot of the time, I'm at home bored.
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username196545
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I try to organise as much stuff as possible, but people try to avoid coming etc. People are aware that a lot of the time, I'm at home bored.
Crikey, you sound just like me

I never understood why either, at school I'm not unpopular, but people just never seemed to ask me out. Hmmm, still no idea why.

Oh well, I've made some new friend recently and it's changed quite a bit, I never see school friends outta school though
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PoisonDonna
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I try to organise as much stuff as possible, but people try to avoid coming etc. People are aware that a lot of the time, I'm at home bored.
In that case, sitting around wondering why they're not inviting you will solve nothing, unfortunately. Can you ask them why they don't invite you? That could cause an uncomfortable situation, but they need to know how you're feeling.
Otherwise, try hanging round with some new people? You don't have to drop your friends completely, but increasing your friendship group can only help matters really.
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libertine861
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You need to communicate with them. Perhaps they think you don't want to come out because you have never asked? people aren't mind readers so you have to either tell them outright what is on your mind or at least make hints. Just ask them can you tag along, next time they are discussing to go out. The worst they can say is no and if they do, just find some new friends. You have almost finished school now so it is quite easy to move on. I'm not in touch with any of my school friends anymore. (Although I never went to sixth form as my school never had it.)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PoisonDonna)
In that case, sitting around wondering why they're not inviting you will solve nothing, unfortunately. Can you ask them why they don't invite you? That could cause an uncomfortable situation, but they need to know how you're feeling.
Otherwise, try hanging round with some new people? You don't have to drop your friends completely, but increasing your friendship group can only help matters really.
ATM I'm trying to work out what I have done wrong/how I got myself into this situation, so that when I got to sixthfrom and meet new people and get new friends, this doesn't happen again.

Thanks for replying BTW.
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Yasmin2K8
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Maybe you just dont go out often enough and they just presume your going to say no anyway if you have said no a lot of times in the past?

Have your tried asking them in an indirect sort of way i.e. In a sarcastic way like you was busy or werent to bothered - just say 'thanks for inviting me...' and see what they say - the next time they are talking about an event from the night before etc
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by libertine861)
You need to communicate with them. Perhaps they think you don't want to come out because you have never asked? people aren't mind readers so you have to either tell them outright what is on your mind or at least make hints. Just ask them can you tag along, next time they are discussing to go out. The worst they can say is no and if they do, just find some new friends. You have almost finished school now so it is quite easy to move on. I'm not in touch with any of my school friends anymore. (Although I never went to sixth form as my school never had it.)
I try to an extent, but I only find out people have gone out/done something afterwards. I'm always saying things like 'Fancy doing Something next week', but I get a mediocre response and hear nothing more.
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PoisonDonna
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ATM I'm trying to work out what I have done wrong/how I got myself into this situation, so that when I got to sixthfrom and meet new people and get new friends, this doesn't happen again.

Thanks for replying BTW.
Okay well that's fine, but chances are you haven't done anything wrong!!

Have you said no a lot in the past? This could stop them asking you again really. Sixthform will be good, plenty of opportunities to meet new people
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WithFlyingColours
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I've always been the same. You'll probably find there's one in your group who's bit of a d*ck and is sly about who to invite to things. Unfortunately they're often the 'main man' type thing. I basically just found new friends and still stay friendly with the ones I liked in my previous group. I'm also moving to a grammar school for 6th form so hopefully the people there are a bit nicer and will invite me when things come up.

Find some new buddies or talk to them about it. Unfortunately, as I said, I suspect it's often that there's one who acts friendly and leaves you out when it comes down to it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PoisonDonna)
Okay well that's fine, but chances are you haven't done anything wrong!!

Have you said no a lot in the past? This could stop them asking you again really. Sixthform will be good, plenty of opportunities to meet new people
Thanks,

so if I try and get involved as much as possible and arrange t do things at the beginning of sixthform, such a problem shouldn't reoccur?
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PoisonDonna
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks,

so if I try and get involved as much as possible and arrange t do things at the beginning of sixthform, such a problem shouldn't reoccur?
Well obviously I have no idea how things will work out for you, but yes in theory this is true. Maybe join a sports team or something, get involved with people. If you be someone people want to be around you'll have no issues If you don't show you're interested, people will never know!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PoisonDonna)
Well obviously I have no idea how things will work out for you, but yes in theory this is true. Maybe join a sports team or something, get involved with people. If you be someone people want to be around you'll have no issues If you don't show you're interested, people will never know!
OK, thnaks a bunch for your advice. I'll bear it in mind in September.
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Valkyrja
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In school, I was ermmmmm not so much the socialising type. In College though, pretty much everyone knows me and I wouldn't say I'm 'popular' (my college is too big for that) just kind of respected in a grand overlord of the lower common room and rebel student president (I shook it up in them governor meetings).

point is that you never know how people will react to you. Just be who you are and don't force yourself to be someone else. In school, it seems like such a big thing to be invited here there and everywhere but I PROMISE you that if you give it two or three years you won't be bothered.

just keep your hopes pinned on uni, where you'll be with a group of people who are, chances are, very similar to you. It's only two years away, you can grin and bear it til then. good luck, you'll be fine, don't worry about silly people and school friends.
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cadaeibfeceh
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yeah i had the same then invited one of my mates out myself and since then i've been invited to places - you make the first move and they'll come back to you
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