Is bdsm and peodophilia linked in a way? Watch

DiddyDecAlt
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#21
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#21
(Original post by londonmyst)
My last relationship ended over the ex's dirty little hobby.
Violent bdsm, illegal bdsm hardcore porn and a pair of sex workers with appalling injuries.

The std's all those bdsm participants had were very real and life threatening.
From what I saw, none of them appeared to have any shame at all.
So because your girlfriend was a deviant anyone with an interest bdsm is also a deviant.

11/10 logic :congrats:
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londonmyst
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Anonymous)
I thought generally bdsm was light and just involved tying up/spanking/handcuffs. I thought what you mentioned is very extreme/minority.
The B and D elements can be, particularly with the under 30s.
S and M are the darker elements- the hardcore tend to include all four with a violent emphasis.
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Anonymous #2
#23
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#23
(Original post by londonmyst)
The B and D elements can be, particularly with the under 30s.
S and M are the darker elements- the hardcore tend to include all four with a violent emphasis.
hardcore is not the common thought
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londonmyst
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#24
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#24
(Original post by DiddyDecAlt)
So because your girlfriend was a deviant anyone with an interest bdsm is also a deviant.

11/10 logic :congrats:
It was ex-boyfriend.
I was referring to active participants over 30, not people with an academic interest or casual curiosity.
I'm not keen on oral sex, hardcore porn or active rape fantasists either.
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leopard202
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive always wondered, you know how some people are into bdsm/turned on by spanking etc or stories, well spanking is spanking it historically happened to kids so there will be stories on it which will turn them on, so does that make these people paedophiles? Even though they havent done anything wrong
It is mostly about associations we make with our own live experience. Spanking is a common fetish developed because spanking is a common experience in most peoples' upbringings, for example. We associate it with shame, guilt, pain, lack of power. As an adult, it is almost fun to have the control to act out something that doesn't have the same consequences anymore, it's liberating. in a way we can redefine experiences/associations perhaps that we don't like. Acting out things we associate with childhood, the 'daddy' kink, schoolgirl outfits, police costumes, are the cultural symbols we know to represent things about power, care, security, authority. Pedophilia isn't part of this, it's understandable for people to have unresolved issues from their childhood, sexual play is a huge ground for outlets and exaggerated roleplay. Pedo is a deep rooted mental health problem, whole other kettle of fish. Because its not about representations or symbols.
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DiddyDecAlt
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#26
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#26
(Original post by londonmyst)
It was ex-boyfriend.
I was referring to active participants over 30, not people with an academic interest or casual curiosity.
I'm not keen on oral sex, hardcore porn or active rape fantasists either.
So anyone under 30 is not a deviant but when you get over 30 it is deviancy?

Just because you don't enjoy something doesn't mean you have to shame others who do. As long as it is all consenting adults they are free to do as they please.
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sinfonietta
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#27
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#27
Been actively participating in the BDSM scene for 9yrs. I am not attracted to children and was not spanked as a child.
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londonmyst
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#28
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#28
(Original post by Anonymous)
could your experience be colouring your judgement? Thats one example not the the trend
My opinion- yes, the facts- no.
My experience is based on a combination of: seeing the hardcore bdsm videos, hearing from bdsm participants, personal experience and seeing the consequences.
What the sex workers who make a lucrative living out of bdsm clients told me, the content of the ex's illegal bdsm porn stash and talking to people who are active within bdsm circles.
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Anonymous #2
#29
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#29
(Original post by londonmyst)
My opinion- yes, the facts- no.
My experience is based on a combination of: seeing the hardcore bdsm videos, hearing from bdsm participants, personal experience and seeing the consequences.
What the sex workers who make a lucrative living out of bdsm clients told me, the content of the ex's illegal bdsm porn stash and talking to people who are active within bdsm circles.
people you've spoken to are all within a specific career or circle. It is a limited sample size and is not representative. That is all hardcore stuff but that is not the majority.
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Stiff Little Fingers
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#30
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#30
(Original post by londonmyst)
Doubt it.
The problem with bdsm is that it generally involves adults consenting to illegality, violence or very high risk behaviour that could be life threatening.
It often takes a disturbed mentality to find that sort of thing sexually exciting or to derive pleasure from inflicting sadistic violence upon another person.
Except the whole point is that it wouldn't be life-threatening or illegal, because both parties are actively consenting to participation and should be setting out clear boundaries and safety precautions before anything happens...
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londonmyst
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#31
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#31
(Original post by DiddyDecAlt)
So anyone under 30 is not a deviant but when you get over 30 it is deviancy?

Just because you don't enjoy something doesn't mean you have to shame others who do. As long as it is all consenting adults they are free to do as they please.
Are you feeling shame?

I wrote about bdsm in the context of consenting adults, mentioning the different trends often present within the under 30s bdsm circles and the over 30s bdsm circles- the over 30s tend to be the hardcore crowd.
However, consent is not defence to illegal activity.
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londonmyst
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Anonymous)
people you've spoken to are all within a specific career or circle. It is a limited sample size and is not representative. That is all hardcore stuff but that is not the majority.
All different careers, ages, educational backgrounds and nationalities.
All active participants except late my uncle who lost interest in his late 20s.
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DiddyDecAlt
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#33
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#33
(Original post by londonmyst)
Are you feeling shame?

I wrote about bdsm in the context of consenting adults, mentioning the different trends often present within the under 30s bdsm circles and the over 30s bdsm circles- the over 30s tend to be the hardcore crowd.
However, consent is not defence to illegal activity.
Shame? **** no :lol:

You seem to have a very warped view of what bdsm is all about.
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londonmyst
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#34
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(Original post by Stiff Little Fingers)
Except the whole point is that it wouldn't be life-threatening or illegal, because both parties are actively consenting to participation and should be setting out clear boundaries and safety precautions before anything happens...
An adult's consent only extends so far- legally.
For example- consenting to strangulation until unconscious or being subjected to repeated violence with the type of weapon that cannot be lawfully carried in a public place.
It seems that some people enjoy a significant danger element, hazardous to their health or not.
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Anonymous #4
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#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
I guess so many people say that people into bdsm are mentally ill/have a disorder its hard to know how common it is (probably something like 0.5%) as no one ive met is into it, they only like kissing and the usual stuff, so im under the impression its fairly abnormal.
What do you mean by disorder or mentally ill? I mean I’m really into bdsm so just wanted to know what kind of illness you are referring to? Cause I can confirm that my interest in it is not because I suffer from anxiety/depression/ocd
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Anonymous #5
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#36
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive always wondered, you know how some people are into bdsm/turned on by spanking etc or stories, well spanking is spanking it historically happened to kids so there will be stories on it which will turn them on, so does that make these people paedophiles? Even though they havent done anything wrong?
I think for the submissive there could be since they enjoy being spanked because they’ve been “naughty” which seems to be related to something experienced from childhood… for the dominant is just about power and control like a father.
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Stiff Little Fingers
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#37
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#37
(Original post by londonmyst)
An adult's consent only extends so far- legally.
For example- consenting to strangulation until unconscious or being subjected to repeated violence with the type of weapon that cannot be lawfully carried in a public place.
It seems that some people enjoy a significant danger element, hazardous to their health or not.
And the bedroom thankfully is not a public place, so laws on what you can carry are irrelevant; again, it's about proper safety precautions being taken first, obviously that doesn't allow for strangulation to the point of unconsciousness or violence that causes severe or lasting harm.
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Anonymous #1
#38
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#38
(Original post by Anonymous)
What do you mean by disorder or mentally ill? I mean I’m really into bdsm so just wanted to know what kind of illness you are referring to? Cause I can confirm that my interest in it is not because I suffer from anxiety/depression/ocd
I meant that others can often view it as a disorder in itself, as though theres a pathological reason behind it, rather than it simply being a sexual interest.
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londonmyst
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#39
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#39
(Original post by Stiff Little Fingers)
And the bedroom thankfully is not a public place, so laws on what you can carry are irrelevant; again, it's about proper safety precautions being taken first, obviously that doesn't allow for strangulation to the point of unconsciousness or violence that causes severe or lasting harm.
A lot of it occurs outside of private residential premises, bdsm events and sex worker's premises.
Those with an appetite for the hardcore stuff seem none too keen on risk assessments and safety precautions.
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DiddyDecAlt
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#40
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#40
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think for the submissive there could be since they enjoy being spanked because they’ve been “naughty” which seems to be related to something experienced from childhood… for the dominant is just about power and control like a father.
The submissive side of things is more about relinquishing control and responsibility to a trusted partner, it is loss of control that typically excites.
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