my personality is dead Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
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yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
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Anonymous #2
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maybe get out more, personality inst something that can be taught, it happens naturally
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
I am exactly in the same situation as you. I hardly talk to anyone except in lectures. never had any proper friends. dont chat or text anyone except for family.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
Yeah.. i practiced mostly with strangers, tried random classes (art, dance, or uni societies, workshops etc) and would pretend i had a bit of an alter ego. It just involves stepping outside of yourself (easier to do with strangers) going out of your comfort zone. My first technique was to ask people about themselves to keep convo flowing. People like being asked about their life/opinions etc. Also when people open up to you you'll feel more comfortable for sharing. What stops you from being outgoing/talkative may be the fear of being judged or being the vulnerable one.

Body language is important too, you can just look more directly at people, smiling makes a huge difference. Don't cross arms. These things are easy to make your body do without giving anything away.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
Also... just having an open and positive attitude to receiving people so you like them. Think favourably and find positives so you enjoy being around them. That will naturally show through. Make it less about you, and that they are some potential threat, just take them as their own person. Studies have found the most 'popular' (in the adult sense) people are those who like the most other people
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Anonymous #5
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get good at something, find things you're passionate about. who you are isn't confined to small talk ability with acquaintances.
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Dunnig Kruger
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Read the classic Dale Carnegie books

How to Win Friends and Influence People
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

And integrate the advice in those books into your life. All the advice in them is obvious and should be stuff that you know already. So treat them as a reminder of what you should be doing.

Get a job or start a business where you have to talk to people. EG direct sales. You might as well earn some money whilst improving yourself.
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1st superstar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
the title of this thread applies to me too...
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IrrationalRoot
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#9
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Same, except I don't talk to anyone closely.
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iFlops
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
Firstly, you're personality is not dead, I promise you - and I'm not just saying that. You need to believe you have a personality worth investing in so people will want to talk to you.. they can sense it if you don't believe it yourself.
Drawing from my own experience, I've got a few things which has helped me:
1. Watch self-help youtube videos - I especially recommend the channel "charisma on command" - from some guys whose been there, done that. They've experienced social anxiety and mishaps in their past and used their own experience to learn from it.
2. Try and figure out WHY you think you're personality is dead - once you figure out the root of the problem, it's much easier to go from there and flip what you do at the moment on its head. For example, you tend to look down a lot/avoid eye contact when someone talks to you, you avoid other people or social situations... in general, be aware when you feel like something isn't working socially.
3. Most importantly, PRACTICE talking to people. The only way you can improve socially, is if you put yourself out there. It's really intimidating if you don't have much experience with talking to new people, but you can think of every new person as a stepping stone to your improvement.
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DR.DOOM
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One of Robert Greene's laws of power, law 25, is the need to 'recreate yourself'. This law is questionably ethical in the way that he puts it out. He uses the example of Julius Caesar in explaining this law, arguing that Caesar was in the position that he gained because of the way he portrayed himself to his army and the roman public. Caesar had linked both power and the art of theatre into one to construct his appearance, delivering speeches and talking to people as if what he said was a 'script that is part of a play'. Caesar had also used this ability to also create elements of surprise and suspense whenever he spoke. The law stresses that in order to obtain the heights of power, we must not accept what society wants us to be but we must play the role of the actor, the person who goes through many different faces, playing different personalities at each time while also using elements of enigma and suspense in the way we present ourselves.

This isn't an easy task for me, but it may be an easy task for others. The ability to move through different tastes and interests at one time while concealing what you actually believe in, i.e. deceiving people in who you are. The funny thing is, this happens to us on a daily basis, the people around us may not actually be telling the truth of who they are, that is they deceive us. Sun Tzu said that "all war is based on deception" which it is. No matter what we are dealing with, a war, a social problem or business, we are constantly being deceived and we don't know it. Am I saying you should deceive anyone? I wouldn't really suggest that, but what I will say is you should construct different identities of yourself. I remember watching Breaking Bad and at one point I felt a bit similar to the ways that Heisenberg was disregarding anything around him, only focusing on his work (I did the same, only focusing on my work and studies, not caring about anyone else unless it was family). It made me want to be Heisenberg.

Other times, I listen to KIDS SEE GHOSTS, an album which is entirely based on the idea of social identity, and I feel like I am on-top of a mountain looking down on those who have nothing and continue to live a crappy life with no enjoyment or they feel that they need to do something because of FOMO whereas I sit atop the mountain, looking down on those who have not found the true path, the same way that ghost on the cover stands on top of the other ghost

As weird as I may seem, you have to agree I have some interesting ideas in my personality. That is what you should seek to do
Last edited by DR.DOOM; 4 days ago
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frantika
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The trick is to be interested in people, and to show it. Most people (not all tthough!) are interesting
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plot racer
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
you might just be naturally shy. maybe you could create online chat group or have a really good internet freind.
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Anonymous #6
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I don't know how to keep the conversation going... How do people always have something to say!? I'm really jealous of them...
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davesantana
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usually the girls that people tend to like to be around are the confident/SLIGHTLY loud(not quiet but not too ratchet). as in you aint to affraid to express your opinions/dish out cusses and most importantly receive them.

try play sports, join clubs. sit with people with ur class or people sitting alone ect.
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Retired_Messiah
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Becoming more talkative and outgoing is largely a case of practice. Uni personally helped me come out of my shell quite a bit 'cause I forced to talk to people I didn't know in order to have any friends, but that's sorta the key really - the more you practice the better at it you are.
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mathspaperfree
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
my advice, works every time:
take a shower, watch alpha m's videos on yt to be more confident.
And finally take a haircut to be chad./
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TheAnthony
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Your personality isn't 'horrible'. It sounds like you're an introvert. I'm an introvert myself. I prefer deep, meaningful conversations rather than lots of small talk about general topics, which can be boring. Some people are outgoing and talkative whilst others aren't and that's okay! We're all different and neither personality is better than the other.

I've learnt to embrace my personality by becoming aware of the advantages of being an introvert. A great book that I'm currently reading is 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking' by Susan Cain. I highly recommend it.

That doesn't go to say that I haven't worked on developing my conversational and public speaking skills. I've given many presentations in front of large crowds during sixth form and my course at university, which have really helped. I also like to ask open-ended questions to get conversations flowing and I listen to the other person to see if there's anything I can delve into for further discussion. Don't try too hard though. Remember that a conversation is a two-way street, so you will find that conversations may not flow with some people, no matter how hard you try.
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safia.2002
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah.. im not joking. my personality is horrible. i havent talked to people properly in a few years. i only talk to a few people closely. how do i improve my personality so that i can become more talkative and outgoing. anyone with previous experience?
Same here. I don't text anyone outside my close group of friends at school and family. Honestly I don't think my personality is dead but on the whole I am dead inside. I don't enjoy anything anymore and I get frustrated so easily - this is mainly due to me currently failing my A levels.I can't even talk to people properly anymore yet alone communicate with my teachers. Overall my life is hell right now. I don't even know why I'm saying this here.
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