Really low since leaving university, moved home, relationship ended, cant find a job Watch

blackmyst3ry
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Hello!

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. But, there is something you can do. Pick your battles wisely. Don't worry about what you can't control and the single biggest sin is comparing yourself to others.

Are you showering, sleeping and eating right? - Simple habits go a long way!

Can you connect with your university and join their alumni network? This way you will be able to make connections!

Are you LinkedIn? Have you tried job searching there?

Have you been asking for feedback when giving interviews/ applying for jobs? Sometimes, a little constructive criticism could go a long way in terms of helping you put yourself in your potential employer's shoes!

Look forward to hearing from you!
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cheesecakelove
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What did you study at university and what sort of career are you looking to get into? How is your job hunting going and what relevant experience do you have so far? As a recent graduate, you still have access to your university careers service, so I would recommend getting into contact with them for more advice and help with your job hunting.

I can understand that leaving university and moving back home, struggling to find work, can take a toll on your mood. During your job hunting, take the time to do things that make you happy e.g. focusing on interests, light exercise, volunteering. Staying at home constantly can be the worst thing to do.

I am sorry to hear that your relationship ended. Hopefully you have a good network of friends to support you - don't keep all of your problems to yourself. The people around you care for you and want to see you happy, express the way you feel and reach out to them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by blackmyst3ry)
Hello!

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. But, there is something you can do. Pick your battles wisely. Don't worry about what you can't control and the single biggest sin is comparing yourself to others.

Are you showering, sleeping and eating right? - Simple habits go a long way!

Can you connect with your university and join their alumni network? This way you will be able to make connections!

Are you LinkedIn? Have you tried job searching there?

Have you been asking for feedback when giving interviews/ applying for jobs? Sometimes, a little constructive criticism could go a long way in terms of helping you put yourself in your potential employer's shoes!

Look forward to hearing from you!
Hi, thank you for replying!!
I know that I shouldn't be comparing myself to others, and I know that social media often hides what many are thinking - for example, I have a friend that I am not very close to and from her social media it looks like she is having a great life after moving to London and starting a graduate job. However, I have since heard from a mutual friend that she is not enjoying the job at all, and only sticking at it because of her apartment contract. So I know that it's easy to think people are super happy even when they're not. But even that scares me because I think I might get a job and hate it... I think I'm just so worried that I'm going to feel this down most of my life, so it's putting me off even trying to apply for new positions.
I am taking care of myself mostly, I'm not eating as much as normal but when I'm sitting around doing nothing most of the day it's not that bad. Struggling with sleeping a little still though, waking up really early and having nothing to do except be alone with my thoughts is very triggering so I absolutely hate mornings. I've noticed a pattern of me being up and down throughout the day, but I'm really anxious on a morning, and it slowly eases off as it gets towards the night.
I have connected to my university alumni, they're really good at reaching out to us but when I don't have any clue of the area I want to go in I feel like I would be wasting their time by getting in contact with them- same with our careers services which is amazing as they offer lifelong support unlike some universities which cut contact after a year or two of graduating, so it is comforting to know they are always there.
I am on LinkedIn and Indeed but not had much luck so far - and in terms of interviews and feedback, I've not yet been chosen for an interview for any of the jobs I have applied for, and when I've received the email to say they wouldn't be pursuing my application, most have also said that they cannot provide feedback due to the vast number of applicants. I have had feedback on my graduate CV and an example cover letter from my university careers service about a job I applied for within the students union - they told me my CV and Cover Letter looked great and I was probably just unlucky this time - but I found out recently the job went to someone who already worked there. I feel like I'm trying and getting knocked down, and after everything with my relationship breaking down I've just been left feeling completely hopeless. The only thing keeping me going is the thought of going back to do a masters next year as I've realised since leaving university, how much I enjoy research and report writing. I just hope my mental health doesn't prevent me from going back.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
What did you study at university and what sort of career are you looking to get into? How is your job hunting going and what relevant experience do you have so far? As a recent graduate, you still have access to your university careers service, so I would recommend getting into contact with them for more advice and help with your job hunting.

I can understand that leaving university and moving back home, struggling to find work, can take a toll on your mood. During your job hunting, take the time to do things that make you happy e.g. focusing on interests, light exercise, volunteering. Staying at home constantly can be the worst thing to do.

I am sorry to hear that your relationship ended. Hopefully you have a good network of friends to support you - don't keep all of your problems to yourself. The people around you care for you and want to see you happy, express the way you feel and reach out to them.
Hi, thank you for replying!!
I studied Geography at university - I always knew it wasn't the most employable discipline but I always enjoyed and excelled at the subject so I wanted to pursue it through university. I'm honestly not sure what type of career I want to do - I know that I DON'T really want to live in a big city as I definitely thrive being in and around nature, and I cannot return to a retail job. I think I'd like an outdoors job, working in nature, maybe the environment agency/woodland trust/national trust etc. But I've looked into these companies and there just doesn't seem to be anything applicable - the jobs are either for people with higher-level qualifications or they're a million miles away and I am in no position to be able to move away on my own atm. I think I'm impatient wanting everything to be perfect now and because it's not I just feel like giving up - which isn't like me at all as I have always worked very hard but there has always been a clear path in front of me and now I don't know how to begin forging my own path.
I don't have any relevant experience at present - I did a lot of extracurricular activities at university such as being a netball captain, student representative, part of an events committee, and an ambassador for an energy-saving campaign, but nothing relevant to any of the careers I've looked into, unfortunately.
Being at home is definitely not helping, but I hate the city I live in too as it just feels like people here never leave and I'm scared I will get sucked into staying here if I begin my career here - but I also don't have the means to move away so it feels like a vicious circle. I have the potential to volunteer to do some GIS work at my dad's workplace so hopefully, that may help!
Thank you - I have a really lovely bunch of friends and family, and I definitely don't bottle up my feelings - if anything I overshare and I'm worried my bad mood is rubbing off on all of them so I feel guilty on top of everything. I think as soon as I can get my teeth into something I will start to feel so much better, I just can't see how to bridge the gap between where I am currently and where I want to be, especially as I don't really know where I want to be.
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blackmyst3ry
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Organise your time between doing and thinking. This way you should be able to discipline yourself from overthinking.

I think it's time for self-love and be kind to yourself. Nothing in life is permanent. Don't give up before you even try, you won't be doing justice to the intellect and magical stuff you are made of

Get yourself on FutureLearn and do the free courses on there. Build up that self-confidence.

Locate your local library and speak to advisors there, do the FutureLearn courses there. Also, check out books related to your field/ in search of a Masters topic that you can write your dissertation on.

Make sure you take healthy walks in the park. Listen to stimulating music.

Also, if it's okay with you, keep updating us on your progress/musings/whatever-you-feel-like here. I'll be here to listen.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by blackmyst3ry)
Organise your time between doing and thinking. This way you should be able to discipline yourself from overthinking.

I think it's time for self-love and be kind to yourself. Nothing in life is permanent. Don't give up before you even try, you won't be doing justice to the intellect and magical stuff you are made of

Get yourself on FutureLearn and do the free courses on there. Build up that self-confidence.

Locate your local library and speak to advisors there, do the FutureLearn courses there. Also, check out books related to your field/ in search of a Masters topic that you can write your dissertation on.

Make sure you take healthy walks in the park. Listen to stimulating music.

Also, if it's okay with you, keep updating us on your progress/musings/whatever-you-feel-like here. I'll be here to listen.
That is really good advice thank you!!
I suppose so, I just hate the ups and downs, feeling like I am better and then it hitting me all again- and I know that is completely normal too I just don't want to work through it, just want it to be sorted now and that's not realistic now, but I am really struggling not to just stay in bed and avoid life but that won't fix anything either
I'll definitely check out FutureLearn, thank you for recommending it!
and yes I definitely want to get started on my master's research before beginning the course!!
I just think I need to learn to breathe and accept. When I allow myself to calm down and reflect I can see things aren't as bad as they seem, but I'm sure you know yourself when you get stuck in that mind-frame of "nothing can improve" its hard to pull yourself out of it - exhausting too".
I'll keep you updated as much as I can, thank you for taking the time to give me this advice, it has been really helpful <3
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blackmyst3ry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That is really good advice thank you!!
I suppose so, I just hate the ups and downs, feeling like I am better and then it hitting me all again- and I know that is completely normal too I just don't want to work through it, just want it to be sorted now and that's not realistic now, but I am really struggling not to just stay in bed and avoid life but that won't fix anything either
I'll definitely check out FutureLearn, thank you for recommending it!
and yes I definitely want to get started on my master's research before beginning the course!!
I just think I need to learn to breathe and accept. When I allow myself to calm down and reflect I can see things aren't as bad as they seem, but I'm sure you know yourself when you get stuck in that mind-frame of "nothing can improve" its hard to pull yourself out of it - exhausting too".
I'll keep you updated as much as I can, thank you for taking the time to give me this advice, it has been really helpful <3
I'm on daily medication because I have a case of 'feeling really low' So, I know exactly what you are talking about. After all, the advice has come from experiencing it first hand like a pro!

There is also MIT Opencourseware (OCW) and http://www.openculture.com/free_certificate_courses

Hope you find a course of your liking!
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yepyep7
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Every single thing you said was EXACTLY me five years ago. i ended up having to take a postmans job with an accountancy degree and moved back to my parents. Have gained experience volunteering in my degree field (accountancy) but still kept getting rejected and until 2 months ago i was still employed as a postman. Currently signed off with depression. I think university was lonely for me and i started having bouts of depression there,i rarely went out, had some friends but yeah just got lonely. this affected my relationship with mood swings etc. for around 2 months every year i seem to go through depressive stages but manage to get through it, its been a 5 years since my ex broke up with me and for them two months i seem to have a break down and think about her, think about how my career has gone nowhere, how everybody else is driving nice cars, bought a house etc looking on instagram. however this year i cant seem to get out of it so i went to my gp (previously passed off as anxiety disorder) and am having counselling starting next week at the local wellbeing center.

Sorry for alot of detail, just wanted to let you know that your not alone. Pm me if you like
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