Was i bit inappropriate texting my collegue who is off sick? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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ok so im leading a team at work (im not the manager but like a line manager) and one of my staff is off sick. I wasnt sure whether to mither or not so just sent a text saying ‘dont mean to mither, hope ure ok and feel better soon’. She replied with a long text saying she was stressed/her head was a mess cause of her relationship and she needed the time etc (that she was thinking of staying at her parents for a bit) and that she was sorry to leave us short. I replied saying uh oh sounds like you have loads on your plate, dont worry about work, families more important, I asked her if she had support from her family and told her to not hesitate to ring/text if she wanted to talk and told her that some space from the relationship might do her good’ she just said your very kind thanks.

It always confuses me at work as i know im not meant to be a friend but i dont mind being and dont want to be cold. Im wondering did i go over the top (as we arnt that close) and act like too much of a friend?

I never know where to draw the line.
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Appirition
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#2
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I've never been a team leader or line manager but as an employee I think what you did was great, your reply was excellent.
Everyone is different, some employees will appreciate your concern, others won't, but you offered support and that's the one thing employees like when they're off sick.
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DiddyDecAlt
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It seems to me you did the perfect thing, the mental health of your employees is just as important as their physical health and it can make a massive difference to their well-being to show that you care about them more than just being an employee.

There is no reason you cannot be friends and colleagues, in fact I find it beneficial to be both as it produces a healthier work environment. It is far better for those in your team to be able to tell you what it wrong rather than lying and suffering in silence.
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doodle_333
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imo you should keep a boundary especially as a manager and shouldn't offer to be a confidant or you may end up hearing more than you want to and generally it will make the relationship wierd and others may be unhappy this person is getting 'special treatment'... that said she's unlikely to take you up and everything else you said eg checking in once kindly and reassuring her to prioritise herself, get support etc was absolutely right
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harrysbar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ok so im leading a team at work (im not the manager but like a line manager) and one of my staff is off sick. I wasnt sure whether to mither or not so just sent a text saying ‘dont mean to mither, hope ure ok and feel better soon’. She replied with a long text saying she was stressed/her head was a mess cause of her relationship and she needed the time etc (that she was thinking of staying at her parents for a bit) and that she was sorry to leave us short. I replied saying uh oh sounds like you have loads on your plate, dont worry about work, families more important, I asked her if she had support from her family and told her to not hesitate to ring/text if she wanted to talk and told her that some space from the relationship might do her good’ she just said your very kind thanks.

It always confuses me at work as i know im not meant to be a friend but i dont mind being and dont want to be cold. Im wondering did i go over the top (as we arnt that close) and act like too much of a friend?

I never know where to draw the line.
I think what you said was kind and I would appreciate it if I were her
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ok so im leading a team at work (im not the manager but like a line manager) and one of my staff is off sick. I wasnt sure whether to mither or not so just sent a text saying ‘dont mean to mither, hope ure ok and feel better soon’. She replied with a long text saying she was stressed/her head was a mess cause of her relationship and she needed the time etc (that she was thinking of staying at her parents for a bit) and that she was sorry to leave us short. I replied saying uh oh sounds like you have loads on your plate, dont worry about work, families more important, I asked her if she had support from her family and told her to not hesitate to ring/text if she wanted to talk and told her that some space from the relationship might do her good’ she just said your very kind thanks.

It always confuses me at work as i know im not meant to be a friend but i dont mind being and dont want to be cold. Im wondering did i go over the top (as we arnt that close) and act like too much of a friend?

I never know where to draw the line.
That was such a lovely thing to do - caring as a line manager - but not too intrusive. Perfect.
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Reality Check
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I agree with everyone else here. What you did was well-judged, thoughtful and professional.
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martin7
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ok so im leading a team at work (im not the manager but like a line manager) and one of my staff is off sick. I wasnt sure whether to mither or not so just sent a text saying ‘dont mean to mither, hope ure ok and feel better soon’. She replied with a long text saying she was stressed/her head was a mess cause of her relationship and she needed the time etc (that she was thinking of staying at her parents for a bit) and that she was sorry to leave us short. I replied saying uh oh sounds like you have loads on your plate, dont worry about work, families more important, I asked her if she had support from her family and told her to not hesitate to ring/text if she wanted to talk and told her that some space from the relationship might do her good’ she just said your very kind thanks.

It always confuses me at work as i know im not meant to be a friend but i dont mind being and dont want to be cold. Im wondering did i go over the top (as we arnt that close) and act like too much of a friend?

I never know where to draw the line.
I can't see anything wrong with what you've done here.

But it is possible to overstep the line when contacting staff who are off sick; if your company has an HR person/department, it might be worth discussing with them what you can/cannot do in this scenario.
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