Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Get back with my ex? Confess?

After dating for 4 years we broke up because we were fighting continuously and both of us weren't happy. Not to mention it was long distance and I met him maybe 5times a year when he visited. We didn't get to have sex too...I mean we have done stuff but sex was scary cas we were both virgins and we didn't get enough time with each other to try either. After breaking up I was lost and frustrated and ended up doing the worst thing one can think of. I joined a dating app. I know I wasn't ready for dating or sex with a stranger but I just had to get my mind off him. Long story short..I had sex. Twice. The first guy wanted only casual sex. The second fell in love with me and I realised I can never love anyone but my ex. Horrible way to realize. But as I lay in bed with another man..all I can think of was my ex. All I wanted was love from that one human that no matter what I did with others or what others do for me...all I wanted was him. When I realised this I had to send the guy away. He even cried and said he loves me. But life is strange that way...cas I wanted everything he gave but I wanted it from my ex. And not anyone else. It's been close to 6 months and yesterday was my birthday. I ended up crying at 12:00...cas I know he wouldn't wish me. He didn't. Then later I got drunk and texted him miserably...he responded. And the love...it's still there. He said he has been feeling miserable and that he still feels we could have worked it out. Now....im worse than before. I can't take it. Im not a virgin anymore and he said he tried dating but it didn't work! So he probably still is a virgin. Will he want me back if I tell him what I did? Will he leave me forever? What do I do? I can't lie to him! I can't say what I did either cas it may break his heart 😣 Someone please please help me! He is visiting in two weeks and im a nervous wreck!

Reply 1

just_a_londoner

Get married love and screw each others brains out.

Reply 2

Retired_Messiah

Generally being truthful is the way to go. Given they're an ex, the restarted relationship would be on shaky foundations to begin with: You wouldn't want to make that worse by keeping secrets.

Whether you should get back with them is an altogether different question. You broke up for a reason, how can you be sure it won't devolve? You must bear in mind that you weren't over him when you started the dating apps, this "I can never love anybody else" mindset is bs, and likely temporary. If you're getting back together it needs to be made clear from the start what exactly is going to change, and how y'all are both going to do it. Getting back together only to devolve into the same **** that broke you up in the first place is a vicious cycle.