Need advice on what to do with my Nans next door neighbours! Watch

Anonymous #1
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It’s quite a long story so I’ll start from the beginning (and I’ve tried to cut it down to a minimum);

My Nan (who is 78) moved into her current house in 2003/4, the neighbours to one side are very friendly, but to the other side are absolute *****s. They only ever spoke to her asking her to stop feeding the birds (which she did at first) and they always parked their 2 cars really awkwardly so she could only just squeeze her car into the space where she didn’t have to step up onto the kerb.

In 2006 she had a severe stroke and is now registered blind, has blue badges and her mobility is affected. She was stuck in hospital for 3 months, then she came to live with us for 3 months, and eventually her house was adjusted so she could live downstairs.
From then on I would take her out shopping/for lunch twice or so every week but the neighbours had been parking so awkwardly, we could no longer squeeze our cars into the space my Nan used to use (it’s really the equivalent of 3 parking bays but their parking means only their two cars can park there, one of which is in front of their garage). If there was ever a spare space where my Nan used to park, I’d go there - but on one rare occasion there was a space in front of their garage, and as I was only nipping in to collect my Nan to take her out, I parked it there, making it so much easier for her to get into my car. Around 10 seconds later, typically, he arrived in his car, got out, and shouting at me asking me why I had parked there, I explained I was just going to get my Nan but the proceeded to get very aggressive and shout profanities at me. Admittedly I did park in front of the garage which is blocking access, but he said he wanted to get his car into the garage, so I moved my car, (he didn’t put his into the garage anyway) and my Nan struggled into my car as usual.

From then on, my Nan fed the birds regularly, as its one of her only pleasures (she’s an animal lover). Next time my Auntie came down, she had a go at him, and he was very complacent about the issue, saying he wasn’t bothered if I parked in my Nan’s old space (not what he had said to me)

Earlier this year, on my way up to my Nan’s house with my mum, the ***** from next door cut me up on a junction the village, it was a very close miss, and it was definitely a provoked attack as he stopped, saw it was me and deliberately cut me up and gave me the V’s. I let it go, but today, on exactly the same junction he did exactly the same thing, almost pushing me off the road and this time it’s really pi**ed me off. I’m only 18 and passed my test just over year ago so I’m not the most confident driver, and I could do without the threat of this guy pushing me off the road every time I see him

I don’t know what to do, if I ring the police reporting a traffic offence I know I’ll just get fobbed off and he will get away with doing it again. The incident might have been recorded on CCTV but I don’t know if that’s any use either. What should I say to the police? It’s so tempting to go up to his house at night, slash his tyres and smash his car in but I don’t want to degrade myself to his level.

What would you do?

/yay over
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DannyBoy123
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They sound like absolute ****ing ***** to me. Personally, I would get my dad and my uncle and go and kick the living **** out of him and smash his car in as well, but that's just me and in no way intended as advice.
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sugar_and_spice
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(Original post by DannyBoy123)
They sound like absolute ****ing ***** to me. Personally, I would get my dad and my uncle and go and kick the living **** out of him and smash his car in as well, but that's just me and in no way intended as advice.
:dito:
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LearningMath
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CCTV would indeed help, try and get hold of it and keep it, i doubt this one incident would bother the police to much. But if you get more tapes, the one of the shouted abuse for example... then combined it could be harassment. It's a weak case though, from what you say it looks set to continue, the incidents the CCTV captures the stronger your case. Goodluck
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LauyPauy
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tell council and/or police. council could create a specific disabled spot so only your gran with her blue badge could use it not those idiots. you could tell the police that you have been threatened and about the traffic stuff but not sure what they would do
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evil groove
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Tell the police. He might get a phonecall, at least.
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fleur_de_haine
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Well, I feel as though I ought to say go through all the correct channelsand thing swill be sure to resolve themselves, but meh, brick, window, sorted.
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QI Elf
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My Granny has had trouble (to say the least) with her neighbour too. Death threats even.
What she does is make a record with date, time, place etc of EVERYTHING no matter how small that happens, you could try to do the same. Ditto with the CCTV as above but a digital camera with the date on (or even just a plain old photo) would do. Also ditto the council. They may too be able to help as the above poster says. Also you could try recording via a dictaphone anything they say such as about the feeding of the birds, especially if they are abusive.

It may be worth getting the police invloved although how much sucess you'll get I don't know. I mean my granny has been harrassed for about 11 years now and although she keeps records etc of stuff that has been done (weed killer on plants, death threats, "I hope you get cancer" , spying on her in the garden etc- I have been watched all day long when gardening for my granny- there has been a catalogue of stuff over the years) the police have never really been able to put forward a case. However there is no harm in trying.

As for the birds, could you not move the bird table or whatever to say the other side of the garden or as far as possible away from the nasty neighbours. Maybe ask them what problem they have with the feeding of the birds, if you possibly find out why they are so against it maybe you can go someway to sloving the problem. I don't see what harm it causes so I would say carry on feeing them if you, your Nan or others are not too intimidated.

Try talking the the nice neighbours on the other side. See if they have had any dealings or troubles with them. A case against them would be stronger with more people as witnessess etc, having said this several people have been witnesses to my grannys attacks etc and some victims themselves but with limited sucess, although once again, there is no harm in trying.

I really really hope you manage to solve the problem, I know what nasty neighbours can do to you. Good luck.

QI Elf
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lincs_b
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s quite a long story so I’ll start from the beginning (and I’ve tried to cut it down to a minimum);

My Nan (who is 78) moved into her current house in 2003/4, the neighbours to one side are very friendly, but to the other side are absolute *****s. They only ever spoke to her asking her to stop feeding the birds (which she did at first) and they always parked their 2 cars really awkwardly so she could only just squeeze her car into the space where she didn’t have to step up onto the kerb.

In 2006 she had a severe stroke and is now registered blind, has blue badges and her mobility is affected. She was stuck in hospital for 3 months, then she came to live with us for 3 months, and eventually her house was adjusted so she could live downstairs.
From then on I would take her out shopping/for lunch twice or so every week but the neighbours had been parking so awkwardly, we could no longer squeeze our cars into the space my Nan used to use (it’s really the equivalent of 3 parking bays but their parking means only their two cars can park there, one of which is in front of their garage). If there was ever a spare space where my Nan used to park, I’d go there - but on one rare occasion there was a space in front of their garage, and as I was only nipping in to collect my Nan to take her out, I parked it there, making it so much easier for her to get into my car. Around 10 seconds later, typically, he arrived in his car, got out, and shouting at me asking me why I had parked there, I explained I was just going to get my Nan but the proceeded to get very aggressive and shout profanities at me. Admittedly I did park in front of the garage which is blocking access, but he said he wanted to get his car into the garage, so I moved my car, (he didn’t put his into the garage anyway) and my Nan struggled into my car as usual.

From then on, my Nan fed the birds regularly, as its one of her only pleasures (she’s an animal lover). Next time my Auntie came down, she had a go at him, and he was very complacent about the issue, saying he wasn’t bothered if I parked in my Nan’s old space (not what he had said to me)

Earlier this year, on my way up to my Nan’s house with my mum, the ***** from next door cut me up on a junction the village, it was a very close miss, and it was definitely a provoked attack as he stopped, saw it was me and deliberately cut me up and gave me the V’s. I let it go, but today, on exactly the same junction he did exactly the same thing, almost pushing me off the road and this time it’s really pi**ed me off. I’m only 18 and passed my test just over year ago so I’m not the most confident driver, and I could do without the threat of this guy pushing me off the road every time I see him

I don’t know what to do, if I ring the police reporting a traffic offence I know I’ll just get fobbed off and he will get away with doing it again. The incident might have been recorded on CCTV but I don’t know if that’s any use either. What should I say to the police? It’s so tempting to go up to his house at night, slash his tyres and smash his car in but I don’t want to degrade myself to his level.

What would you do?

/yay over
I don't really have any advise to give you, the whole system is against the non-yobs.
I fell pregnant at 17 and me and my partner applied for a council house as we could afford to rent anywhere bigger than my bedsit. We lived on what was a 'rough' estate and never had any problems. In 2006 a relative asked if we would consider a mutual exchange (basically a house swap) for a 3 bed semi in a village with excellent schools. Obviously we jumped at the chance moved and had another baby. About 5 month after we moved our lives were made hell by our adjoining neighbours. They always parked their cars on the grass but the music began at this point. For 18 months we put up with it, our new baby boy had to sleep in our bedroom as his walls shook and the noise constantly woke him. The council never did anything but send letters, we were asked to keep diaries but not much else happened. In the end my partner went round my neighbours house with his brother, they let themselves in and threatened to kill them if the noise didn't stop. My partners brother punched the lad who made all the noise, and therefore got arrested resulting in a £1000 fine. They have since shut up and I now enjoy living here instead of feeling miserable.
I suppose sometimes the best way isn't always the right way but if they know it is you then consider the implications for your nan. What if they smash her windows etc?
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LearningMath
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(Original post by QI Elf)
My Granny has had trouble (to say the least) with her neighbour too. Death threats even.
What she does is make a record with date, time, place etc of EVERYTHING no matter how small that happens, you could try to do the same. Ditto with the CCTV as above but a digital camera with the date on (or even just a plain old photo) would do. Also ditto the council. They may too be able to help as the above poster says. Also you could try recording via a dictaphone anything they say such as about the feeding of the birds, especially if they are abusive.

It may be worth getting the police invloved although how much sucess you'll get I don't know. I mean my granny has been harrassed for about 11 years now and although she keeps records etc of stuff that has been done (weed killer on plants, death threats, "I hope you get cancer" , spying on her in the garden etc- I have been watched all day long when gardening for my granny- there has been a catalogue of stuff over the years) the police have never really been able to put forward a case. However there is no harm in trying.

As for the birds, could you not move the bird table or whatever to say the other side of the garden or as far as possible away from the nasty neighbours. Maybe ask them what problem they have with the feeding of the birds, if you possibly find out why they are so against it maybe you can go someway to sloving the problem. I don't see what harm it causes so I would say carry on feeing them if you, your Nan or others are not too intimidated.

Try talking the the nice neighbours on the other side. See if they have had any dealings or troubles with them. A case against them would be stronger with more people as witnessess etc, having said this several people have been witnesses to my grannys attacks etc and some victims themselves but with limited sucess, although once again, there is no harm in trying.

I really really hope you manage to solve the problem, I know what nasty neighbours can do to you. Good luck.

QI Elf
Wtf... 11 years, thats terrible, havnt your parents gone to the police/their barrister. Or assuming your 18+ plus, why havnt you? Not trying to be accusing This may sound harsh, but i think people are less likely to take notice of old peoples records, maybe if you take her notes/evidence inhand, expand on it and show it to your/her lawyer, then it could be sorted out. Cant be nice living with abuse for 11 years... do something!
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trance addict
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what the **** is this country coming to?
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QI Elf
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(Original post by LearningMath)
Wtf... 11 years, thats terrible, havnt your parents gone to the police/their barrister. Or assuming your 18+ plus, why havnt you? Not trying to be accusing This may sound harsh, but i think people are less likely to take notice of old peoples records, maybe if you take her notes/evidence inhand, expand on it and show it to your/her lawyer, then it could be sorted out. Cant be nice living with abuse for 11 years... do something!

Yes the police and soliciters have been invloved for many years. The police have been round to the neighbours house as have the slocitors who have also sent a whole load of letters but nothing has ever really been solved. They said the other day to my granny that the neigbour "didn't mean the death threats," but it's been over many years, if you don't mean something you don't keep saying it. My dad is in the police force and has not really got anywhere. The police have said before that if it ever got to court the judge etc would say it was the bickerings of two old women and throw the case out. I am 18 and haven't got invloved as I see there is no point. What can I do when others have failed? People may say go round and trash her/her house etc but what good would that do? I would get into trouble, it would make things worse and I don't belive that violence is the way to go about things.
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Cupid Stunt
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I would degrade myself to that level...
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ChriSat
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Not anon anymore but nevermind

Thank you verymuch all for your replies and suggestions... I know its a difficult situation because if I start smashing in their windows or slashing their tyres they might start getting funny with my Nan, which i really don't want as it would make her ill. Then again, taking it further with the police won't go anywhere because the evidence is sketchy.

He's a real nasty piece of work :mad:

Maybe a visit from my ex-bouncer 6ft3 Uncle from liverpool would fix things

Unfortunately she isn't allowed her own disabled bay because she doesn't have car anymore.

Cheers again,
Chris
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LearningMath
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(Original post by QI Elf)
Yes the police and soliciters have been invloved for many years. The police have been round to the neighbours house as have the police but nothing has ever really been solved. They said the other day to my granny that the neigbour "didn't mean the death threats," but it's been over many years, if you don't mean something you don't keep saying it. My dad is in the police force and has not really got anywhere. The police have said before that if it ever got to court the judge etc would say it was the bickerings of two old women and throw the case out. I am 18 and haven't got invloved as I see there is no point. What can I do when others have failed? People may say go round and trash her/her house etc but what good would that do? I would get into trouble, it would make things worse and I don't belive that violence is the way to go about things.
Hmmm... dont lower yourself to their level, just use the enemies evident lack of brains to your advantage! Their are companies who lend CCTV systems/cameras to customers for a few days/months, the cost isnt to high either if its just a few days. Perhaps you could goad the enemy into abuse/violation of public order, and capture it on tape, all it you need is him/her to overturn a bin and shout a little abuse and ya got him! As for the judge, if the tapes you have clearly show your nan being intimidated and not retaliating, then i cant see why he would take that view point. You could also use character witness in your case, saying what a peaceful soul your nan is Scary that your dad couldnt get anywhere though
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QI Elf
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My granny has got a cctv camera thanks.

My granny's problems aren't the issue here. I was only using her as an example. I'm really not looking for a solution to my granny's poblems on here as calaous as that sounds. I don't believe that a solution can be found. It has gone on so long over such a petty reason why it is ridiclious. The reason for all this has been that my granny refuses to seel part of her garden which backs onto the neighbours house. Oh one cunning thing the neighbour did do that we managed to get sorted out was she applied for planning permission for an extension which showed my grannys garden as the neighbours. My uncle is an architecht and he managed to get that sorted which was lucky as if it had not been and permission had been passed then it would have been a legal document which showed that the neigbour owned a piece of my granny's garden when she did not.
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Captain Biggles
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This is where hitmen would come in handy. :yy:
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QI Elf
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Seriously violence is usually ot the answer although in the case of Lincs-b it did seem to do the trick, but then it wasn't without it's consequences.
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