Online dating: Why do men have such low standards?

Most men on Tinder seem to "like" the majority of women they come across, but come away with a success rate (right swipes vs dates) close to 10000:1.



6 years of Tinder as 17-23 guy in UK university






I'm a guy who has never used dating apps. I'm literally autistic, I'm not that handsome, I started out dating as a 21 year old virgin, I'm not even able to fake self-confidence, yet I have had more success approaching the occasional girl in real life (basically girls who I have a genuine crush on) than these people have on all their years trying to net everything on Tinder.

Why do guys put themselves through such humiliation? I know it really takes a lot to ask people out irl, but compared to the massive crush to your ego and self-worth from the completely lopsided online dating world... isn't it a no-brainer?

[video="youtube;qJQ4GSt3xBk"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJQ4GSt3xBk[/video]

1) Tinder makes it incredibly easy for men to hit on women. Just literally move your thumb and you've done it

3) Majority of men are swiping on girls they want to have sex with rather than girls they actually want proper relationships with

Hitting on women on Tinder is far less easy to turn into a date. At 1000 swipes per date, you are looking at RSI. It's like most men haven't even tried it in real life. As much as I think "pick up artists" offer dangerous advice, they at least recognise that real life is the best place to approach dating.

By the point that you have exhausted the equivalent of an entire city's of women, and only got a dozen dates, isn't that just a crazy blow to your self-esteem?

It's true, it's harder to turn a tinder match into a date than a phone number from a random woman into a date. but it's easier to swipe 1000 - 2000 women than approach 50+ random women IRL [for a date]

it's also true that yes, you'll soon come into problems with exhausting the supply of women in your area

Tinder is a hookup app.
With many users simply trying to accumulate mass ons in a very short time frame.
Many guys operating next to no standards at all beyond breathing, biological female.

It's maybe approaching 50 women per date if you "cold approach" (never tried it). But so far even I have rarely been turned down when I "warm approach" girls who I have talked to a little (under 2 approaches per date). The necessary investment is simply spending time with a hobby/etc that involves some women - something that is enjoyable even without looking out for women. The risk in approaching here is a blow to your ego, and losing what might otherwise have been a friendship. But I think the blow to my ego would be far worse if an app told me that I had been rejected by 60,000 women.

Because men are desperate for a bit of skirt.

I have a grand plan. Wear down TSR member(s) over a number of months. Like the Fabian Strategy.

that's why i always say personality means nothing.....

For 'cold approaching'? Isn't that obvious? They can't know anything about your personality - your looks are the only thing they have to go on.

If it took me 10,000 swipes to get a girlfriend I'd do it. If I could swipe at the rate of about 1 every 10 seconds.

It's not an automatic gf mate. You have all the other stuff too - the swiping is a substitute only for approaching girls irl.

5) More and more millennials are unable to hit on girls in real life due to their balls never dropping as they spend all their time online so they have to use dating apps to interact with women in a romantic way as they have no confidence to do it ofline, and they can't be too picky due to competition hence low standards..

Yeah and the study by Queen Mary University in 2016 showed a male heterosexual swipe success rate of 0.6%, which is 60 times higher than the 0.01% (1 in 10000) success rate that you suggested in the opening post.

However if 1 in 60 successful swipes results in a girlfriend - which seems like a reasonable, conservative estimate, then we are singing off the same hymn sheet.