"If you avoid conflict, to keep the peace you start a war inside yourself"!!

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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What does this mean/show about the person who told me this?

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Vexper
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#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
It's pretty accurate, some things you can let go to keep the peace and it's to the benefit of everyone. However if you avoid conflict on anything and you keep all this internally building up then it's not healthy and your relationships can suffer without the other person ever having a chance to discuss the issues with you.

If you avoid conflict you're also more likely to be taken advantage of as you can't stand for your position as easily.
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yepyep7
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#3
Report 1 year ago
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This quote is completely true. Avoiding conflict is a passive-aggressive stance, and your anger will come out in other ways,possibly even without you knowing. As a male, i believe we are more likely to use this tactic, i know i did, because i was afraid at the time the other person would leave me if i opened up about how their behaviour affected me. Kind of like theyve think 'hes always got a problem'.

I believe this is called 'stonewalling'. Walking away mid arguement, saying things like whatever, im not talking about it, and generally ignoring the other person. However in a relationship even with friends or family, this causes resentment to poison the relationship. The other person is left feeling ignored and abandoned, like you dont care.

Avoiding conflict is sometimes not something that is done out of spitefullness, we generally dont see the big deal. But when its done on purpose, Its to punish the other person.

Its better to express how you feel. For example... When your mum is cleaning and moves the TV remote from next to you and puts it back whilst your watching something (they all do this) instead of saying... 'This really F***ks me off when you do that'... Its better to express how you feel... 'Mum i understand your cleaning, however i feel really frustrated when the remote is put back when im still watching TV'. The other person is less likely to react defensive.

Perhaps this other person feels you criticize instead of actually say what you want? - we all do this from time to time.

Hope this helps
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