I dislike my boyfriend's dad Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
His parents are separated and he lives with his dad. I spend every Saturday night there which I am super appreciative of as he does not need to allow it. Whenever I am at their house I bring my own food due to allergies because I do not expect them to cater for my needs as my food can be quite expensive. On a few occasions I have left food/snacks there and his dad has eaten them. I tried talking to my boyfriend about it as it happened again today and he just told me ''don't be like that'' when I said to him that he can eat the rest of what I left because I did not want it (silly I know). I don't feel like I can talk to his dad because he is the type that thinks whatever is left in his house belongs to him. I know that I could just bring the food home with me and it would solve all problems but my boyfriend asked me to keep food there so it makes things easier when I am hungry.

What should I do?
0
reply
pocha04
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
ignore the dad and plus dont leave your food there.
althought this matter isnt really that bad you know
even if your bf says to leave it just say i dont feel comfortable done.
0
reply
sinfonietta
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#3
Report 3 weeks ago
#3
Either leave the food there and accept that he'll eat it; or take it home. Not much else you can do.

In your shoes I'd just take it home and then stop at a shop next time I go over.
Last edited by sinfonietta; 3 weeks ago
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#4
(Original post by pocha04)
ignore the dad and plus dont leave your food there.
althought this matter isnt really that bad you know
even if your bf says to leave it just say i dont feel comfortable done.
Yes eating my food is super annoying and comments have been made about it before but he just blames it on a 4 year old child. It's not just about the food though it's everything. We have to plan our evenings around him most of the time, especially if he is going out and we are having a quiet night in. He wants us to stop whatever we are doing to take him to the next town over so he can go to the pub with his friends. We also have to tidy up his mess too, like if we have eaten breakfast we have to wash his stuff up too but he would never wash our stuff up and would expect us to do it. On the rare occasion that he cooks for us we wash up which I believe is fair because why should he do it all? When we cook for him he expects us to wash the pots. It may seem like petty things and not a big deal but when you kind of dread going there and seeing him it becomes a big issue. There's more to it but I won't bore you with it.
0
reply
Sammylou40
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#5
Report 3 weeks ago
#5
Perhaps you should try to just take enough food for what you need. If you regularly have too much it’s a waste. Prepare what you need at home and take a container.
Ultimately, it’s his house and whilst you might not like some of the rules or routines, or just the way it’s done, that’s how it is. It’s better not to complain to your boyfriend about his dad. It will just make things uncomfortable.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Sammylou40)
Perhaps you should try to just take enough food for what you need. If you regularly have too much it’s a waste. Prepare what you need at home and take a container.
Ultimately, it’s his house and whilst you might not like some of the rules or routines, or just the way it’s done, that’s how it is. It’s better not to complain to your boyfriend about his dad. It will just make things uncomfortable.
A lot of what I take is non perishable food so it's not like it would go off if I did not eat it that day.

Yeah I wouldn't do that, it wouldn't be fair to talk badly about his dad to him. I think this thread was just to vent more than anything else.
0
reply
Sammylou40
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#7
Report 3 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
A lot of what I take is non perishable food so it's not like it would go off if I did not eat it that day.

Yeah I wouldn't do that, it wouldn't be fair to talk badly about his dad to him. I think this thread was just to vent more than anything else.
I’d still pack up the non perishable food. It saves any bad feelings and is easily solved.
I absolutely can’t stand my mother in law and tbh the feeling is mutual. She is a very poor excuse for a human being and I could give you hundreds of examples of why.
But he is my husbands mother and despite her abominable behaviour my husband loves her.
He is aware of how she is but unless I’m asked my opinion I am very careful about saying nothing
0
reply
pocha04
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#8
Report 3 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes eating my food is super annoying and comments have been made about it before but he just blames it on a 4 year old child. It's not just about the food though it's everything. We have to plan our evenings around him most of the time, especially if he is going out and we are having a quiet night in. He wants us to stop whatever we are doing to take him to the next town over so he can go to the pub with his friends. We also have to tidy up his mess too, like if we have eaten breakfast we have to wash his stuff up too but he would never wash our stuff up and would expect us to do it. On the rare occasion that he cooks for us we wash up which I believe is fair because why should he do it all? When we cook for him he expects us to wash the pots. It may seem like petty things and not a big deal but when you kind of dread going there and seeing him it becomes a big issue. There's more to it but I won't bore you with it.
lol its fine to let it all out here lol
plus he does sound really annoying ill give you that but i dont think theres much you can do except stay around your bf and dont communicate or talk to his dad
0
reply
BedfordMom
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#9
Report 3 weeks ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
His parents are separated and he lives with his dad. I spend every Saturday night there which I am super appreciative of as he does not need to allow it. Whenever I am at their house I bring my own food due to allergies because I do not expect them to cater for my needs as my food can be quite expensive. On a few occasions I have left food/snacks there and his dad has eaten them. I tried talking to my boyfriend about it as it happened again today and he just told me ''don't be like that'' when I said to him that he can eat the rest of what I left because I did not want it (silly I know). I don't feel like I can talk to his dad because he is the type that thinks whatever is left in his house belongs to him. I know that I could just bring the food home with me and it would solve all problems but my boyfriend asked me to keep food there so it makes things easier when I am hungry.

What should I do?
Do you pay rent to your boyfriend’s dad?, Do you pay any bills - electricity, water, gas? If you are then what’s in your rental agreement? If you’re just ‘shacking’, up with your boyfriend, quit being a free loader and move out and get your own place, that’s what adults do.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by BedfordMom)
Do you pay rent to your boyfriend’s dad?, Do you pay any bills - electricity, water, gas? If you are then what’s in your rental agreement? If you’re just ‘shacking’, up with your boyfriend, quit being a free loader and move out and get your own place, that’s what adults do.
I’m there one day a week and right now it isn’t the right time to move in together
0
reply
BedfordMom
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#11
Report 3 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)“I’m there one day a week and right now it isn’t the right time to move in together”You are still using amenities in the house and that makes you an additional liability. Did your boyfriend ask his dad’s permission before telling you to keep food in the fridge? Who do you think owns the fridge and pays for its use? If it’s ‘not the right time’ to move in together then why are you there one day a week? Did you have a sit down discussion withad and ask permission to live there one day a week? You sound like a very entitled ‘madam’, who doesn’t have a clue about real life. You seem to think this man however he’s behaving, owes you your ‘quiete time’, free housing etc whilst encroaching on his own privacy and freely helping yourself to his house. The reason your boyfriend hasn’t said anything to his dad about your food is because he knows he’s on thin ice and doesn’t want to upset the Apple cart by complaining. You’re just too naive to get it. He lives with his ‘parent’, he is not the decision maker in the house, his dad is.The two of you are trying to live like independent adults when infact as you say, ‘it’s not the right time’, but you want to have your cake and eat it anyway.What you should do is stay in your own place wherever that is, no need to stay at boyfriends one day a week or ask him to come over to yours instead,one day a week.. Wait until you both get jobs then move in together like responsible adults.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#12
(Original post by BedfordMom)
(Original post by Anonymous)“I’m there one day a week and right now it isn’t the right time to move in together”You are still using amenities in the house and that makes you an additional liability. Did your boyfriend ask his dad’s permission before telling you to keep food in the fridge? Who do you think owns the fridge and pays for its use? If it’s ‘not the right time’ to move in together then why are you there one day a week? Did you have a sit down discussion withad and ask permission to live there one day a week? You sound like a very entitled ‘madam’, who doesn’t have a clue about real life. You seem to think this man however he’s behaving, owes you your ‘quiete time’, free housing etc whilst encroaching on his own privacy and freely helping yourself to his house. The reason your boyfriend hasn’t said anything to his dad about your food is because he knows he’s on thin ice and doesn’t want to upset the Apple cart by complaining. You’re just too naive to get it. He lives with his ‘parent’, he is not the decision maker in the house, his dad is.The two of you are trying to live like independent adults when infact as you say, ‘it’s not the right time’, but you want to have your cake and eat it anyway.What you should do is stay in your own place wherever that is, no need to stay at boyfriends one day a week or ask him to come over to yours instead,one day a week.. Wait until you both get jobs then move in together like responsible adults.
It wasn’t even in the fridge it was in my boyfriends cupboard where he keeps the little food that he has! I’m there because it’s the only day of the week where I get to see him as he works away and I’d rather not have to spend it giving lifts to his dad or tidying up after his mess! I don’t live there one day a week, I spend the night there is a huge difference. I’m not naive and definitely not an entitled madam, there is no need to name call whatsoever. I know that he doesn’t say anything to his dad about it because he doesn’t want to cause trouble I’m not that stupid. He doesn’t want to stay here which I completely understand, my entire house is getting redecorated so it’s very messy and it’s the one night a week that he gets to spend in his own bed so I see why he doesn’t want to stay here. I don’t want my cake and to eat it too, what I want is for him to stop eating my food when I don’t touch his and for him to stop expecting us to plan our evening around him.... sometimes we can’t even eat or do something because his dad wants a lift to the next town so he can go to the pub
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by pocha04)
lol its fine to let it all out here lol
plus he does sound really annoying ill give you that but i dont think theres much you can do except stay around your bf and dont communicate or talk to his dad
Thank you! He is really annoying, I’m at the stage now where I hope that he’s out before I get there. I care so much about my boyfriend but I can’t imagine being stuck with his dad for the rest of our time together
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#14
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#14
(Original post by Sammylou40)
I’d still pack up the non perishable food. It saves any bad feelings and is easily solved.
I absolutely can’t stand my mother in law and tbh the feeling is mutual. She is a very poor excuse for a human being and I could give you hundreds of examples of why.
But he is my husbands mother and despite her abominable behaviour my husband loves her.
He is aware of how she is but unless I’m asked my opinion I am very careful about saying nothing
I agree it’s best not to voice your opinion on their family members. If he asked me I would say that I liked him even though I don’t as it’s not fair on him
0
reply
BedfordMom
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#15
Report 3 weeks ago
#15
OP continue to back peddle. The biggest irony of this, is you’re pissed off by this person eating your food, yet not bothered to think about the cost to the same person of you living in their house 52 days of the year. Easy solution, stop living there one day a week. Problem solved.
0
reply
mnot
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#16
Report 3 weeks ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
His parents are separated and he lives with his dad. I spend every Saturday night there which I am super appreciative of as he does not need to allow it. Whenever I am at their house I bring my own food due to allergies because I do not expect them to cater for my needs as my food can be quite expensive. On a few occasions I have left food/snacks there and his dad has eaten them. I tried talking to my boyfriend about it as it happened again today and he just told me ''don't be like that'' when I said to him that he can eat the rest of what I left because I did not want it (silly I know). I don't feel like I can talk to his dad because he is the type that thinks whatever is left in his house belongs to him. I know that I could just bring the food home with me and it would solve all problems but my boyfriend asked me to keep food there so it makes things easier when I am hungry.

What should I do?
I think if its left in the kitchen, its his house and he is doing nothing wrong.

You have 2 choices, not leave food their or let it go imo.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#17
(Original post by BedfordMom)
OP continue to back peddle. The biggest irony of this, is you’re pissed off by this person eating your food, yet not bothered to think about the cost to the same person of you living in their house 52 days of the year. Easy solution, stop living there one day a week. Problem solved.
There is not gonna be hardly any extra cost! I don't charge any of my electrical items, don't use their internet, if I shower we shower together or I shower at home, I don't demand that the heating is on and instead put on jumpers or dressing gown etc. So you tell me where is this extra cost coming from? All I want is for him not to eat my loaf of bread that costs £3.50 or any other of the snacks that I got asked to bring with me!
0
reply
BedfordMom
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#18
Report 3 weeks ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
There is not gonna be hardly any extra cost! I don't charge any of my electrical items, don't use their internet, if I shower we shower together or I shower at home, I don't demand that the heating is on and instead put on jumpers or dressing gown etc. So you tell me where is this extra cost coming from? All I want is for him not to eat my loaf of bread that costs £3.50 or any other of the snacks that I got asked to bring with me!
With each post you’re getting worse and highlighting just how ignorant you are. Where is the extra cost?

The roof over your head to start with. I asked you if you pay rent, your indirect answer was a firm, “No”.
Cost of water - your argument of having joint showers is stupid, you are still using water, unless your boyfriend collects his shower water in a bucket and you recycle it for your own shower.
Do you not use the toilet either or is it your boyfriend’s piss you use to flush the toilet?
Electricity - do you not use light?
Gas - I’m kind of guessing you don’t have Cold showers?
You back peddled on ‘fridge’, it’s now a private cupboard.

Can you answer why any self respecting adult would insist on staying one night a week in the house of someone you totally dislike, who cramps your style and eats your food? Just why?
Last edited by BedfordMom; 3 weeks ago
0
reply
Sammylou40
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#19
Report 3 weeks ago
#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
There is not gonna be hardly any extra cost! I don't charge any of my electrical items, don't use their internet, if I shower we shower together or I shower at home, I don't demand that the heating is on and instead put on jumpers or dressing gown etc. So you tell me where is this extra cost coming from? All I want is for him not to eat my loaf of bread that costs £3.50 or any other of the snacks that I got asked to bring with me!
I don’t necessarily agree with the harshness of other posters.
No you don’t cost much. But however little that is I suspect dad feels entitled to do what he’s doing.
Ultimately it is his house so he can do as he pleases.
I really think you should only take what you need if you don’t want them to eat it. And if they ask for snacks then that’s no big deal. You should take cheaper options for them.
Dad asking for lifts etc. If he views you as part of the family then he’ll treat you like one. View that as a good thing.
It’s not forever. You can find ways to compromise, even if that means going without bread for one night
0
reply
Yourmainmancj
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#20
Report 3 weeks ago
#20
He sounds like right fattie
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Which party will you be voting for in the General Election?

Conservatives (68)
19.65%
Labour (167)
48.27%
Liberal Democrats (49)
14.16%
Green Party (21)
6.07%
Brexit Party (4)
1.16%
Independent Group for Change (Change UK) (3)
0.87%
SNP (7)
2.02%
Plaid Cymru (3)
0.87%
Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) (0)
0%
Sinn Fein (5)
1.45%
SDLP (0)
0%
Ulster Unionist (1)
0.29%
UKIP (6)
1.73%
Other (1)
0.29%
None (11)
3.18%

Watched Threads

View All