Can anyone relate to this? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
No one has ever believed in me. basically, all my life I have always had bad negative thoughts about myself. About me and my social skills. Me and my intelligence . Me and my body image. This has been all my life, for as long as I can remember. I cant figure out where it started. It feels like I approach every aspect of my life with the same pessimistic perspective. And I struggle to shake it. Even right now. Thankfully I manage to shake of the body image negative thoughts. But the others, and future ones are still there.

Like I said, I have been struggling and trying to figure out an origin, but I cant pinpoint it. I guess the reason for me trying to figure out an origin is because thats what helped me with body image. I kinda feel like growing up i had no "cheerleader" in my life. You know, that person who believes in you. Pushes you to be the best version of yourself and to be happy. I feel like growing up, if i was shy my family just accepted it and just said "well that`s just her. she will never be anything better". In some cases they made it worse. But most of the time it was just this acceptance. And I know that`s unfair for me to say. People have it worse. But still. Even when I failed to get into the course I wanted, the same complacency. When i failed a year in uni, the same complacency (and this time also added salt to the wound).

I kinda feel like I am my own cheerleader. If I had a magic wand, I would like to have someone in my family who believes in me. Someone who sees me as I want to be seen. Who encourages me to whatever makes me happy. Pushes me to be good. Someone I can talk to and is similar to me. But i dont. I`m kinda alone in my own family. we get along, but when it comes to the hard stuff of life, I cannot depend on them for that crucial support I need. I have to do it myself.

Currently now, I am struggling with a lot of negative thoughts about myself, my future and my social skills. I want to swap that into healthier more positive ones. I know that my friend and 100% family cant help. Im on my own again. Fighting my battles myself.

How can i be my own cheerleader?
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Anonymous_Cypher
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#2
Report 4 weeks ago
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I've been in a similar situation, and here is how I tried to work through it:
- Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy? I do a lot of sport and am into tech stuff and so I always try to find something to work towards or a project to focus on
- Write down you goals and put them on your wall. It sounds a bit cringe, but when it is displayed somewhere, it becomes more real and so you find yourself excited about it once you have written it down and committed to it. Don't just make long term goals though(you are more likely to give up then), make lots of short term goals as well.
- Through setting a goal you will find a way to become your own cheerleader, i.e you will find a way to drive yourself forward.
- This one is kinda weird, but it works for me.... I googled a bunch of quotes on my phone an had one on my screensaver which I decide to focus on for a few weeks. e.g. I recently had a really bad run of days and so my current one is "we fall, we break, we heal, but then we rise, we heal, we overcome"
- A lot of people say I am a pessimist, however right before I have to do something challenging, I make a point of being over confident. My friends have accepted it because sometimes it means that I end up doing chores for them for a couple of days if I decide to make bets with them (I tend to lose a lot)

I kinda suck at socialising as well, and everyone in my family hates me, so I can't really help much with that, but hopefully I have said something that might help
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous_Cypher)
I've been in a similar situation, and here is how I tried to work through it:
- Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy? I do a lot of sport and am into tech stuff and so I always try to find something to work towards or a project to focus on
- Write down you goals and put them on your wall. It sounds a bit cringe, but when it is displayed somewhere, it becomes more real and so you find yourself excited about it once you have written it down and committed to it. Don't just make long term goals though(you are more likely to give up then), make lots of short term goals as well.
- Through setting a goal you will find a way to become your own cheerleader, i.e you will find a way to drive yourself forward.
- This one is kinda weird, but it works for me.... I googled a bunch of quotes on my phone an had one on my screensaver which I decide to focus on for a few weeks. e.g. I recently had a really bad run of days and so my current one is "we fall, we break, we heal, but then we rise, we heal, we overcome"
- A lot of people say I am a pessimist, however right before I have to do something challenging, I make a point of being over confident. My friends have accepted it because sometimes it means that I end up doing chores for them for a couple of days if I decide to make bets with them (I tend to lose a lot)

I kinda suck at socialising as well, and everyone in my family hates me, so I can't really help much with that, but hopefully I have said something that might help
Thats really helpful. thank you
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