SH stigma vs Binging

Please don't de-anon, for obvious reasons. Sorry, this could be a bit of an essay.

For almost three years now I've struggled with self-harm problems, which affected my entire life (schoolwork declined, almost lost the best friends I had, parents distraught etc). Now I haven't actually SH-ed in a really long time, and everyone is convinced I'm totally over it and I'm happy now. Thing is, I'm not. At all. I know that the underlying issues causing the problem are still very much there - however, I absolutely can NOT go back to SH because I really would lose my friends who have put up with so much crap, and it's not worth the stress it would cause my family, and tbh I'm proud of the progress I've made and I don't want to go back. So instead I have begun to try and suppress my feelings by binging on food (a shameful and disgusting thing which I'm actually more ashamed of than the SH). But I'm putting on weight quite quickly and I really don't want to get fat, because I know that'll just cause more problems and make the whole thing worse, so I need to stop this horrible habit but the only way I can do that is if I go back to SH so that I still have a release mechanism.

So I'm thinking, surely it's really bad for me, health-wise, to be stuffing my face, clogging up my arteries and piling on the fat - wouldn't the odd scar be so much less unhealthy? Why is SH so stigmatised and dreadful, when really it's nowhere near as bad as what lots of people do to their bodies? If I had started smoking three years ago then sure, my mum would've been annoyed or disappointed, but there would have been nowhere near the amount of panic and stress involved - similarly, she knows that I eat more than I should but doesn't really see it as much of a problem besides telling me I need to lose weight every now and then.
I've seen instances of this before - at around the same time that I was having the most trouble with SH, a close friend of mine was suffering from bulimia. Now personally, I would put an illness that involves dragging half-digested stomach contents through your poor damaged oesophagus on a regular basis, thus vastly increasing the risk of various throat and stomach cancers, throat infections, heart disease etc, WAY above SH on the rankings of a serious health issue, mentally and physically. But nobody seemed to take her problem anywhere near seriously enough, they just assumed she'd get better in her own time. This was about two years ago and as far as I know she still suffers from it now, despite the best efforts of myself, her other close friends, parents, doctors and counsellors. Just because SH has ugly, immediate visible signs, why does it seem to be taken so much more seriously? I just don't get it. My health was at no risk from what I was doing. I was never suicidal, I never did anything stupid in terms of cutting too deep or anything - I just wish people would let me get on with coping with things in my own way so I didn't feel trapped and forced into other coping behaviours that are far more detrimental to my mental and physical health.

All my apologies go to those who read that entire mass of drivel, but it's just a peeve I had to get off my chest. Also, I'm not making light of SH, I know it can be a serious issue, so sorry if anyone feels that I'm belittling their problems or anything. I'm just going by personal experience. Rant over now.

Reply 1

Saffie

11

Social norms...

We regard smoking, overeating and drinking as normal in society. We regard self harm as abnormal and indicative of a psychiatric problem.

In reality, self harm by itself, may be less damaging healthwise. But the reasons you self harm are possibly more severe than the damaging social activities.

Bulimia is a bad example because it's a psychiatric condition too. So really it should be about equal to self harm in terms of stigma. But its less visibly obvious, and there's a perceived (and possibly actual) lower risk of suicide with it.

Reply 2

SoundDevastation

13

you're right in that SH causes much less physical damage than binging, but either way, you should be looking for how you can deal with the underlying issues, rather than which is the best way to override them.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Saffie

Bulimia is a bad example because it's a psychiatric condition too. So really it should be about equal to self harm in terms of stigma. But its less visibly obvious, and there's a perceived (and possibly actual) lower risk of suicide with it.

Depends how severe the bulimia is as to whether it is visible or has a high/low relative risk of suicide

Reply 4

Issy/Bella

Saffie

Social norms...

We regard smoking, overeating and drinking as normal in society. We regard self harm as abnormal and indicative of a psychiatric problem.

In reality, self harm by itself, may be less damaging healthwise. But the reasons you self harm are possibly more severe than the damaging social activities.

Bulimia is a bad example because it's a psychiatric condition too. So really it should be about equal to self harm in terms of stigma. But its less visibly obvious, and there's a perceived (and possibly actual) lower risk of suicide with it.

Hmmmm, i'm not sure there is a lower risk of suicide from bulimia (and other eating disorders)
because many are linked. A lot of people I know self harm, have an ED, or (majority) both.

and i've seen more people die from EDs than from SH.
(by suicide) - but maybe that's because I know more people with EDs than SHs.

They're all ways of coping which can get terribly out of hand.

SH stigma vs Binging

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