Nasty Man Confronted me for Using Disabled Toilet (I have Crohns) Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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Hey, Okay so I have crohns disease and I basically have a need to use toilets frequently and I have never had this before and it has really upset me to be honest.

I went out to my local pub, a spoons pub actually and I know there is a really good campaign they are doing to promote not every disability is visible but this one does not have the sticker yet on the door.

Anyway as I was in there I heard a knock and I said "Just a minute" I wasnt sure who it was usually its staff wanting to clean but whoever it was then tried to open the door with the key (Luckily I locked the door properly and yes I have my own key too) and I washed my hands and when I opened the door there was an old man outside (He has a reputation for being pretty nasty in this pub towards people) I held the door open for him and said "there you go" as usually I close it after and as i walked past he said "Are you disabled because this toilet is for disabled people only" in such a nasty tone and it threw me i turned round and thought should I say something but I just smiled, shrugged and continued walking.

I feel I should have said something but I thought why is it his business how or what illness or needs I have, My friends told me and even my family said I should have said something and put him in his place rather than ignore him.

I guess it shocked and upset me because I find it difficult with the condition and to be confronted like that wasn't nice. And I feel I didn't handle it well as a mate told me my "silence" could be seen as guilt for using it which wasn't the case it all.

Anybody else has a similar experience and how they handle it? I think next time I will simply repeat what the sign says "not all disabilities are visible" and continue walking.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 4 weeks ago
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I just wouldn't question someone who is in a disabled toilet, whether they are or aren't disabled isn't really my problem, especially as some may have an issue which may not be apparent from simply looking at them (like extreme diarrhea).
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black tea
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Just out of interest, does he have a visible disability?

If I was you, I would have said "yes" to his question and walked on. There is absolutely no reason why you should explain anything to him, and this really isn't worth getting into a fight over.
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08graya
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I get this all the time to the point where I used to refuse to go to the toilet when I was out


I have a catheter and occasionally have to self catheterise when my long term one comes out and it is so much easier for me to use a disabled toilet because it gives me more space to use a catheter.


But because people dont see that I am disabled they get super arsey about it. I also have a blue badge too and they're the same with that, but my bladder spasms a lot and if I get spasms and need to run to the toilet it is so much easier to park as close as possible to a supermarket and then run in to take my meds and use the toilet.


(The spasms are very very intense and have caused my catheter to come out a number of times).


The thing I tell people now is 'if I didn't need a blue badge or radar key it would not have been given to me and actually just because you cant see my disability, doesnt mean it isnt there'.


Or the other thing I say (when I lose my temper is 'well tell that to the f**king bag of p*ss strapped to my leg then' which usually shuts them up 😂


It sucks, it really does but you wouldn't have the key if you didn't need it! Try to ignore the man, though I know that's easier said than done!
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by 08graya)
It sucks, it really does but you wouldn't have the key if you didn't need it!
Anyone can buy a radar key, unfortunately.
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-Eirlys-
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey, Okay so I have crohns disease and I basically have a need to use toilets frequently and I have never had this before and it has really upset me to be honest.

I went out to my local pub, a spoons pub actually and I know there is a really good campaign they are doing to promote not every disability is visible but this one does not have the sticker yet on the door.

Anyway as I was in there I heard a knock and I said "Just a minute" I wasnt sure who it was usually its staff wanting to clean but whoever it was then tried to open the door with the key (Luckily I locked the door properly and yes I have my own key too) and I washed my hands and when I opened the door there was an old man outside (He has a reputation for being pretty nasty in this pub towards people) I held the door open for him and said "there you go" as usually I close it after and as i walked past he said "Are you disabled because this toilet is for disabled people only" in such a nasty tone and it threw me i turned round and thought should I say something but I just smiled, shrugged and continued walking.

I feel I should have said something but I thought why is it his business how or what illness or needs I have, My friends told me and even my family said I should have said something and put him in his place rather than ignore him.

I guess it shocked and upset me because I find it difficult with the condition and to be confronted like that wasn't nice. And I feel I didn't handle it well as a mate told me my "silence" could be seen as guilt for using it which wasn't the case it all.

Anybody else has a similar experience and how they handle it? I think next time I will simply repeat what the sign says "not all disabilities are visible" and continue walking.
I'm sorry that happened to you. It has happened before (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...-wetherspoons/) but unfortunately, we're still in the early days of this campaign and it'll take some time for people to better understand or at least keep their thoughts to themselves.
Don't beat yourself up about not saying anything, you were caught off guard and a bit stunned. I would be too!
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