The Student Room Group

some help please!

Hi,

A little about me, i'm a 17 year old male and i've just finished my first year of collage. I've never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, haven;t lost my virginity and i've never gone on a date or anything, pretty much, i'm a loser! :frown:

I don't think i'm bad looking, I'm tall, light build, broad shouldered, but i have never had confidence when talking to girls who are very good looking or that i fancy.

A a month or so ago, i met a girl on bebo, a year younger than me. She's so hot, and beautiful and we can talk on msn for hours, i always make her laugh, she says how funny I am etc, and how much we have in common. She goes to school and lives, well she's left now, in the same small city/ large town that I go to college in. I'm always going there and meeting with mates as many of them either live there or nearby. Unfortunatley, we have not met yet.

Last week she gave me her phone number out of the blue when i said i had bough a new phone. Last weekend i asked if she wanted to meet and go see a film sometime next week, she said yes and seems real keen!

What if she doesn't find me attractive? is personality enough??? I know i will get all sweaty and nervous when i'm with her, and i'll run out of things to say, any tips!

I've seen loads of photos of her on her bebo, but she's only seen one face shot of me, i just know she;s gonna be disappointed! :frown:

When i meet her, how should i say hello? should i give a quick hug?

Should i pay for the film? Also during the film, should i try and kiss her, hold her hand, put my arm around her??? I have no idea what to do! and don;t even know how to kiss properly!

How can i tell if she finds me attractive or wants to be touched???

we'll probably just go get some chips or something after, the film, should i try and kiss her before i say goodbye?

I'm completely out of my depth here!!! :s-smilie:

Girls and Guys please help!!!

thanks

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Of course she wants to be touched, all girls want to be touched.

:colone:
Reply 2
She obviously really likes you. That is some girl that asks a guy out. Appearance you can do little about, just remember that she must like you. Offer to pay for the film, she may say yes or no, either way brownie points for you.

Play it by ear for the rest of the date, keep you body language open, faced slightly towards her not away. If you want to hold her hand to it.
Reply 3
lol, she didn't ask me, i asked her,

all girls want to be touched by attractive guys, what if she doesn't find me attractive!?!? What if i try and take her hand and she pulls it away??? :confused:
Reply 4
rizzee_dascal
lol, she didn't ask me, i asked her,

all girls want to be touched by attractive guys, what if she doesn't find me attractive!?!? What if i try and take her hand and she pulls it away??? :confused:


:redface: can't read :redface:
Ok please whatever you do do not attempt to kiss or feel her up or have any physical contact unless she does it first (this is because its the first "date" and she may suddenly think you met up with her for sex) have fun enjoy yourself....
talk about
- what your doing over summer
- the film you watched
- offer to buy stuff for her (most girls would say no is she says yes .... just make sure you didn't offer to buy something to pricy)
- at the end ask her to come and do something another time (fingers crossed she says yes)

I think the physical contact should only happen after at least a few weeks of this and you must tell her you like her before you do this....
Reply 6
She sounds really keen to me, and as you said yourself you don't think you're bad looking; and she blatently likes you so probably won't care what you like tbh!

You say you have loads in common, so awkward silences shouldn't be a problem :smile:

When you meet her I think it would be nice to give a quick hug, but sort of be aware of her own behaviour (if she seems uncomfortable or not very open probably best not to try anything) As for during the film, as others have said sort of face towards her. I don't think there would be anything wrong with holding her hand or putting your arm around her. Perhaps if you're nevous keep 'accidently' knocking or brushing her hand, and with any luck she'll grab it :P

Completely up to how the date has gone and her own body language as to whether you should kiss her, keep it open, hug her goodbye and say that you've had a great time etc and see if she sort of hangs there expecting a kiss (in which case go for it!) But don't think about 'doing it right', just relax (ok.. easier said than done) and don't try to hard (eg: no tongue to start with)

I would say act as though you're paying for the film, then it's up to her if she jumps in and says no. I feel really uncomfortable about a guy paying for me, but on the otherhand I know plently of girls who would expect it :P Either way she'll appreciate you being a gentleman :smile:

Just remember to be yourself, reference stuff you've said/ in-jokes you've had on msn to make it more familiar, and she's probably just as nervous about this date as you!!

Let us know how it goes :smile:
It would be lovely if you kissed her once on the cheek to greet her(Euro-way)... Too few boys really appreciate the subtle, yet massive, power of a kiss on the cheek! However, you'd have to be pretty confident to make it non-awkward if you are not used to doing this.
Defo offer to pay for the film and touch/take her hand during the film. Follow her lead for the first date- don't stress over the logistics of kissing her... if it happens, it happens and should do so with spontaneity.
She certainly seems interested in you as she asked for your number! And how lovely that she has agreed to go out with you on mostly the terms of your personality! You must be pretty nice!
Hope all goes well... lucky bugger!
PS, i like a guy in a nice black t-shirt
Reply 8
first off... you dont seem very confident, not sure why, but have you ever been told your ugly? if not then your obviousely not, and so calm down about it. shes not exactly going to see you and go urgh, your hideous, leave me alone. dont worry about it, make sure you look your best beforehand and then go out. you need to be confident and you will open up during the date so stay calm
right, say hey, and put your arms out and see how, she will probably hug you, just a quick one. pay for the film and whatever, and do not try to kiss her. if she wants it you will be able to tell, she will lean in, constantly look at your lips, and she will lick hers.
if i were you, id leave tht part out of it, if shes up for another then go for it.
at the end hug and say bye, maybe a quick kiss on the cheek if its gone well. then leave it a day or two and see what happens, she may text, you may text whatever and then maybe work out another. good luck and hope it goes amazingly!!
Reply 9
Awwwwhh OP your so cute. But seriously don't worry about it. Chances are she's going to be just as nervous as you so just go with the flow and be confident. She obviously likes you so heres your chance to show her what your made of :wink:. Good Luck and let us know how the date goes. Oh yeah, and make sure you hug and kiss goodbye, even if its a peck on the cheek!! :smile:
kiss on the cheek to end it and maybe some hand holding during the movie..

dont do the cliched thing of yawning and putting your hand around her :p:

Shes all set to meet you, shes seen your photo.. and she STILL wants to meet you - chances are she does find you attractive mon amie :smile:

Just keep calm, sure she is quite tensed up as well.. shes a girl and meeting a guy she met on bebo, she has guts and she has courage to do this - but clearly she doesn't care coz she still wants to meet you... all the more reason to not be sooooooooo scared she wont like you.

Chill out, watch the movie, some small talk, hold hands and a kiss on the cheek .. can't go wrong :wink:

good luck and let us know what happens!!
Reply 11
thanks a lot, will do!
Id recommend to pay for the film, and have something in mind on what film to watch before you go. Its good to show some initiative instead of making it seem as though you have no idea on what to do.
Offer to buy her a drink (not alcohol) for the film.

This might seem silly, but run over what you could talk about before you go, incase you get nervous for the moment and the conversation steers toward awkward silence (which is best to avoid).

Finally, it's good to be a lil sentimental and keep the cinema ticket. As you can use it to show you treasured the moment.
Reply 13
yu
Reply 14
i would suggest if you offer to pay for things then say oh i'll pay or something rather than do you want me to pay for that? cos otherwise it might make it a lil akward lol
Reply 15
What is it with TSR and 'late starters'? :confused:
Reply 16
Dude, shes into you- show some confidence. Think about it. Girl likes boy, and boy likes girl....later on, boy will get horny, maybe girl will get horny too, and you'll get lucky.....dont let the age thing get to you---you'll get there....

C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E!!!
Reply 17
Tufts
What is it with TSR and 'late starters'? :confused:


I don't know...seems to be alot of them here- i remember asking for advice on here for the first girl i was planning on sleeping with...i guess its a safe place and private place to ask your "deepest and darkest most insecure qeustions"

what is late anyways? :cool:
Reply 18
Lithium


what is late anyways? :cool:


Good point.

I mean - later than me :embarassed:

I started dating at around 15. Going off TSR posts - that seems abnormally young.
Just stick your hand down her pants in the middle of the film.

No, seriously though. Just be chatty and stuff, maybe touch her arm a little while you're watching the film. And when it comes to kissing or whatever, disregard the people who say 'do' or 'don't', and read the signals of the night. If she's giving off 'kiss me signals' (she's been positive and chatty, responsive to the arm touching and stuff, is looking at you lots, eye contact blahhh), then at least give her a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night. Good luck :smile: