18cmanson
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This is one of my pee paragraphs for scrouges character from a Christmas carol stave 1.

Pls note I am a year 8 student wanting to achieve hire in set 3 out of 8.

When reading a Christmas carol by Charles Dickens I get the impression that’s Scrooge is a very fierce and crule man. When he is described as ‘ hard and sharp as flint’ I get the impression Scrooge is more like stone or metal than a human being. How the word ‘flint’ is used gives me the impression that that he is able of causing fire because flint can create fire. THe use of the simile compares him To ‘flint ‘ which points out how harmful and uncaring he is . Also the word ‘herd’ gives the impression that scrouge could be hardened emotional And have no room for kindness. From the word ‘hard’ I get the impression that scrouge is also stubborn Andy hard to communicate with and please.
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Emily~3695
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The paragraph itself is quite good I would say it would be at least a grade 6, just remember for English you are marked for SPAG as well and in this there are quite a few spelling mistakes, not sure if this was because you were typing but that could be a good way to pick up a few more marks
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Griffby
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(Original post by 18cmanson)
This is one of my pee paragraphs for scrouges character from a Christmas carol stave 1.

Pls note I am a year 8 student wanting to achieve hire in set 3 out of 8.

When reading a Christmas carol by Charles Dickens I get the impression that’s Scrooge is a very fierce and crule man. When he is described as ‘ hard and sharp as flint’ I get the impression Scrooge is more like stone or metal than a human being. How the word ‘flint’ is used gives me the impression that that he is able of causing fire because flint can create fire. THe use of the simile compares him To ‘flint ‘ which points out how harmful and uncaring he is . Also the word ‘herd’ gives the impression that scrouge could be hardened emotional And have no room for kindness. From the word ‘hard’ I get the impression that scrouge is also stubborn Andy hard to communicate with and please.
Overall I think it's a pretty good paragraph, however in anything English related you should disassociate yourself and try not to include your own opinion. For example you say 'When reading a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens I get the impression', instead try to say something like..."the text gives the impression". You also do this when you say '''hard and sharp as flint' I get the impression", to reduce repetition maybe put...'I can infer from the quote that Scrooge...'.
Hope this helps and keep up with the hard work, I personally didn't do much to higher my English grade, though I did get a good mark, I'm sure I won't do as good as you will!
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