I don't fit into any friendship group

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autumn_leaves
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At school, I've drifted through lots of different friendship groups and each time there's been something 'wrong', and I felt like I didn't fit in with them or that I had to change myself for them to like me. Each time, no one seems to really make much of an effort to include me, in the last group I was in people would ask me to move up at the table so they could sit closer to the others. I'm starting to wonder whether maybe I'm the problem, and that I'm being too picky about the group I'm in? Maybe I'm just interpreting it wrong, and expecting too much from everyone.

I'm not completely lonely - I just have a mixture of friends that are all from different groups. I really want to just have a nice, supportive group of friends where we can all meet up, next year go to prom and get ready together, etc. But maybe my expectations are too high, and that's another factor going wrong each time. It doesn't help that I overthink everything and always wonder whether people actually DO like me or if they're just being polite...

I guess this isn't really a specific question as such, but does anyone have any advice?

Thank you
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Arnzz
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I wish i could help but i have the exact same problem. I just try to remember that im at school to have a better future and that i'll make proper friends i can trust eventually, friendship is natural thats just how it is.
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autumn_leaves
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(Original post by Arnzz)
I wish i could help but i have the exact same problem. I just try to remember that im at school to have a better future and that i'll make proper friends i can trust eventually, friendship is natural thats just how it is.
Thank you, it's nice to know I'm not alone!
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joyceemx
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(Original post by autumn_leaves)
At school, I've drifted through lots of different friendship groups and each time there's been something 'wrong', and I felt like I didn't fit in with them or that I had to change myself for them to like me. Each time, no one seems to really make much of an effort to include me, in the last group I was in people would ask me to move up at the table so they could sit closer to the others. I'm starting to wonder whether maybe I'm the problem, and that I'm being too picky about the group I'm in? Maybe I'm just interpreting it wrong, and expecting too much from everyone.

I'm not completely lonely - I just have a mixture of friends that are all from different groups. I really want to just have a nice, supportive group of friends where we can all meet up, next year go to prom and get ready together, etc. But maybe my expectations are too high, and that's another factor going wrong each time. It doesn't help that I overthink everything and always wonder whether people actually DO like me or if they're just being polite...

I guess this isn't really a specific question as such, but does anyone have any advice?

Thank you
I say be happy if you do have close friends you can depend on. Imo, it's better to have a few close friends to rely on than have a big group because not everyone is really close. Believe me, I used to want a big group and now that I don't have the close friends I used to I'd rather go back and stick with having a few people.

Maybe you should do some self-evaluation or speak to them honestly. Or just stick to the people who do seem to care. Dw, I don't have a group at all.
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Harvey2019
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You are not alone but remember nobody is the same. You can look at yourself fitting into classes of people but you are who you are. I know the feeling i have had the issue all the way through my school life. You feel like a outsider and nobody is really there as you feel It is hard to fit in.
Best to have close friends from my experience. I can say i only have about 2 close friends that really know me and then there are others that i know and talk to but not in the same close way that i would with my closer friends.
Im sure everyone likes being around you even if you don't see yourself fitting in. You need to remember you are cherished and everyone has a place in the world, Nobody is a outsider. You just have to find your place which may be hard to find but once you find it you realise what true friendship is and feel respected.
Keep going and just be confident!!!
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autumn_leaves
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(Original post by joyceemx)
I say be happy if you do have close friends you can depend on. Imo, it's better to have a few close friends to rely on than have a big group because not everyone is really close. Believe me, I used to want a big group and now that I don't have the close friends I used to I'd rather go back and stick with having a few people.

Maybe you should do some self-evaluation or speak to them honestly. Or just stick to the people who do seem to care. Dw, I don't have a group at all.
Thank you for the advice! πŸ™‚ I know that I should be happy I have good close friends, but I still imagine what it would be like to have a large, close friendship group. I guess I'll have to live with it either way anyway, and it's good that I do get along well with most people.
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autumn_leaves
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(Original post by Harvey2019)
You are not alone but remember nobody is the same. You can look at yourself fitting into classes of people but you are who you are. I know the feeling i have had the issue all the way through my school life. You feel like a outsider and nobody is really there as you feel It is hard to fit in.
Best to have close friends from my experience. I can say i only have about 2 close friends that really know me and then there are others that i know and talk to but not in the same close way that i would with my closer friends.
Im sure everyone likes being around you even if you don't see yourself fitting in. You need to remember you are cherished and everyone has a place in the world, Nobody is a outsider. You just have to find your place which may be hard to find but once you find it you realise what true friendship is and feel respected.
Keep going and just be confident!!!
Thank you, that's really good advice πŸ™‚ I get along with most people, and even though I dont have a specific group, you're right- I do have good close friends and that is arguably better. It's just annoying that I tend to drift between groups a lot, I can't seem to just stay in one πŸ˜‚
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Harvey2019
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(Original post by autumn_leaves)
Thank you, that's really good advice πŸ™‚ I get along with most people, and even though I dont have a specific group, you're right- I do have good close friends and that is arguably better. It's just annoying that I tend to drift between groups a lot, I can't seem to just stay in one πŸ˜‚
Thats fine, i know how annoying it is but im sure everything will be fine talk to your close friends and just be confident. The more you spend with people the more you will understand what you do to contribute to your friends and were you fit in overall.
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